As a father, and from my years of experience working with adolescents and their families, I know that one of the points that concerns us most is that our child develops with healthy self-esteem
We know, surely from our own experience, that self-esteem will decisively influence how you approach your relationships in the future, both as a couple and as a friendship.
It will influence your student life and your work life. And, of course, in his self-esteem and recognition.
Your child’s self-esteem, just as it happens to you, is going to be a very important factor in their happiness.
Strategies to promote good self-esteem in your son or daughter
In life we carry a backpack on our shoulders, and this backpack accompanies us in every situation and at all times. Only we can get in and out of it, but the weight and resources we carry will make us live life in one way or another. In that backpack we keep our self-esteem, of course, self-concept and self-motivation And, as I tell you, only you yourself can manipulate it.
Consider self-esteem like a big tree that grows from a tiny seed. The shadow and fruits it bears will depend on the care it receives during the first years of life, childhood and pre-adolescence.
In these stages of life, the influence you have as a father or mother is vital So yes, although it may put significant pressure on you, you should know that with your type of education and the way you act with your child you are decisively marking the love they feel for themselves in the future. Far from worrying you, this fact should make you happy, since no one like you wants more than you to be a happy adult.
What would you be willing to do to achieve it? That you can help him do this now that he is under your tutelage, is an opportunity that you should take advantage of To do this, of course, first of all you must know how, and below I leave you 10 keys that will surely help you.
1. Avoid the verb Ser
One of the greatest yokes we walk with in life is “I am like this” or “I am not like that.” This conception of how we are and that limits us so much in life has been created since childhood, and is due to those “innocent” comments like “you are disorganized” or “you are shy.” Change to “you don’t have your room organized” or “you haven’t talked much with the family today” so as not to start leaving the mark you don’t want.
2. Ask yourself: from love or from fear?
When you give him a recommendation, reprimand or prevent him from doing something he wants to do, think about whether you are approaching it from fear or from love.
I’ll give you a very common example in adolescence. When your son/daughter asks you to come home later because he/she is meeting friends, you say no because you want to prevent something bad from happening to him/her (fear) or because he/she must learn that each age must follow certain rules (love). ). The way you approach it will bring you different fruits
3. Measure performance, not results
Closely related to academic performance. The fact that at school/institute/university they measure everything with a number at the end of the course, does not mean that we also have to do it with our children.
Variables such as perseverance, responsibility or organization They are what is really important, what will serve them for the rest of their lives. Put the focus there. And if he or she does it too, that final number is sure to be higher too. But the important thing, I repeat, is the process, not the final result.
4. Forgive from love
As a father or mother you know that the love you feel from the moment a child comes into your life is unlike any other. That love must be very present especially when they seem to deserve it less. This doesn’t mean you can’t get angry that you cannot punish if you think it is necessary, but do it with the guideline that affection sets for you.
5. Become a role model
Many times we are determined that our children do things that they do not begin to do until they see us doing them.
Everything that is learned by imitation is much simpler So, if you want smiling children, smile. If you want organized children, get organized. If you want active children, get active.
6. Speak well of him “behind his back”
There comes a time when children realize that a mission that we parents have is value what they do well How handsome they are, how nice they are, how intelligent they are…
Well, that feeling will be much greater when you give those “compliments” not to them directly, but to a third person, with them being indirect witnesses of the situation.
7. Get in their position
Do you remember when you were bored how you sought your parents’ attention? Do you remember how difficult it was on spring days to stay home studying instead of going out? Do you remember how important it was for you to arrive a little later when you started going out with your friends in the afternoon/evening? Well, this, and many other things, also happens to your children. It’s just that you remember it from time to time
You may be interested: “The 4 types of empathy (and their characteristics)”
Everything, absolutely everything a child expresses is pure gold. So far from judging it, listen to it, analyze it and try to learn from it. There are no stupid questions, if you don’t want to know more There are no absurd reasonings, but rather wonderful inner worlds.
9. Enhance sports practice
Please be clear that The sum of a mind that is oxygenated, a body that moves and a child who learns results in a healthy and strong self-esteem
Are you going to do everything possible so that your child has an active life or do you prefer the comfort of having him/her in front of the television, tablet or console?
You may be interested: “The 10 psychological benefits of practicing physical exercise”
10. Never say never (or always)
We tend to exaggerate certain attitudes in moments of anger, unfairly using maximizers in our way of speaking. “You never pay attention.” “Your room is always a mess.” In the heat of battle it is understandable to do something like that, but we are certainly not fair and creates a very negative idea of oneself
To end…
These are the 10 tips that I would like you to remember when raising your children. The prize is very high, because of course having a happy child automatically makes us a happy father/mother. And as I told you before, surely you are willing to do anything to achieve it, aren’t you?
With my program “The shine of your child” I help both parents and adolescent boys and girls to improve their self-esteem, develop a healthier self-concept, learn to manage their emotions, and be able to shine in life as they wish. And you know, you have a lot of power in your child’s well-being.
