10 Psychological Keys To Improve Your Relationship
Relationships are dynamic , are not always the same, since they go through different stages such as life changes, changing situations and difficulties that will test the relationship. Broadly speaking, we can differentiate an initial stage of courtship in which there are more beautiful, romantic and leisure moments and a later stage of coexistence in which to share as well as more time, more responsibilities and burdens.
Regardless of where your relationship is, Verónica Valderrama Hernández, from Psicoalmeria, gives you 10 keys to improve it. These keys will be very useful. However, if you consider that the relationship is at a point of stagnation, it may be important to receive the help of a psychology professional. At Psicoalmeria they carry out couples therapy, getting professionally involved and adapting the techniques and strategies to each case.
Many times it is difficult for us to make changes, thinking that if the partner does not change, what we do will not be of much use This is not true, it does not matter if you think that your partner should also change, by making these changes you will get your partner to also change without doing it consciously. Because? Because it won’t make sense to treat you the same or treat you both in the same way if something has changed.
It may be in your power to break the reciprocal patterns of behavior that currently exist in the relationship. You can start applying these keys today!
1. Practice Active Listening and learn to Activate Your Look
It is important to actively listen to your partner and with full awareness. Consists in be totally focused on the message you are trying to communicate and transmit Accompany this technique with active gaze; eye contact indicates that you are paying attention and denotes sincerity.
Have you stopped to think how many times you communicate correctly and how many other times while you are doing other things? It is common for many conversations to take place while you are checking your cell phone, for example, or attending to other obligations. Knowing how to listen is very important and will reflect attention on your partner. Facts that prevent promoting active listening are: getting distracted, interrupting your partner, imposing your ideas without understanding them, not validating their feelings, telling your version without listening to theirs and disqualifying their opinion.
2. Empathize
In any situation you are experiencing, before acting you can put yourself in your partner’s place. How will you be living it? How would I live it in your place? Put yourself in your partner’s shoes, try to understand him/her and not judge him/her If you perform this technique properly you will be able to address your partner in a more assertive way.
3. Use the “I” and avoid the “You”
During conversations and discussions, try to use the first person (I) more and the second person (you) less. We don’t feel the same when they tell us You hurt me, to receive the message I felt bad about what you said. The Ego promotes empathy on the part of your partner and the You provokes emotions compatible with an attack, so the next response will probably be along the lines of a new reproach.
Avoid the reproaches of the past, imagine that those situations already overcome have expired What do you think bringing up things already discussed from the past can contribute positively to a discussion? Focus on clarifying the current situation with arguments and facts from the present.
If your partner agrees that reproaches bring negativity and increase problems, you can establish a secret word and use it when one of you makes a reproach about something from the past.
5. Activate the positive circle
It consists of doing something positive every day for your partner. A detail, a beautiful, affectionate or romantic gesture. Any fact that implies that you have dedicated time to your partner will be rewarded, did you know that By nature we tend to return favors or gestures of affection ? Do something new positive for your partner every day and you will see how it starts to bear fruit very soon.
6. Recreate first dates
If you have the opportunity, recreate one of your first dates, remembering and reliving those first moments can rekindle the spark and make you connect with what attracted you to your partner initially. It will also be useful to do new pleasurable activities as a couple or recover activities that you stopped doing.
7. Think before you speak
How many times have we heard this phrase, and how many times do we actually use it? It is normal to be impulsive during a conversation, but if we think that the conversation is getting into an argument, it will be better to think before speaking and focus both on the words we want to communicate and on the most appropriate ways to do so
It is an interesting and beneficial activity, you can propose it to your partner. Consists in make a box between the two of you (they are available to buy), I personally recommend making it and sharing time as a couple
You can decorate this box however you like, and it will have a slot at the top as a “piggy bank”. You will each choose a color for the notes or slips to enter, you will place during the days those wishes that you want your partner to fulfill and you will commit to fulfilling your partner’s wishes written down.
9. Sex without ideas?
Ask yourself the following questions: what did we do before during sex that we could recover? Is there a sexual fantasy that I haven’t fulfilled that I can propose to my partner? Don’t be afraid to innovate and go for it, get out of the routine.
10. Try asking for help before deciding
Before starting a serious conversation that could have important repercussions on the couple, We recommend you seek a professional opinion to have an objective perspective of the situation.
Many of our actions and behaviors are carried out by expectations and interpretations that we form and that sometimes do not fit with reality, which is why It is important to see the situation from different perspectives The psychologist Verónica Valderrama Hernández and the psychologists from Psicoalmeria will help you in the situation you are going through so that you decide in the most appropriate way and always with psychological techniques that have empirical validity.
