Feeling true love for someone and being reciprocated is, possibly, one of the best experiences that people can feel.
Having that special someone by your side every day, living unforgettable moments and knowing that the person you love will be with you in the good and bad times, is priceless. Anyone who has experienced it will know that they have lived the happiest moments with their faithful companion
Authentic love could be considered the purest and noblest love, although it does not always manifest itself in a love relationship. We often confuse authentic love with passion or infatuation. The first is that love that is based on trust and respect, on the purest friendship; and these characteristics do not have to occur, for example, in passionate love. And, as the saying goes, “authentic love is a friendship with erotic moments.” Authentic love is a love that allows us to be free and accept our partner as he is, we have to work at it, and it has to do with the person’s values.
Some theorists have tried to address this concept, which is actually complex, to classify the different types of love. One of the best known is Sternberg, the author of the Triangular Theory of love. His theory states that there are three elements that interact with each other to form one type or another of love: intimacy, passion and commitment. For example, love with intimacy and commitment is sociable love. In addition to this, and according to Sternberg’s theory, there are other types of love: affection, romantic love, infatuation, fatuous love or empty love.
However, in addition to this classification, Other authors talk about true or authentic love, which is a type of love that has a series of characteristics that you can find below. Signs of true love are:
1. It is a mature love
For love to be authentic, it is not only necessary that there is intensity But both people must behave like adults and must help and do their part so that the relationship continues on its path together. For love to be mature, it is necessary that some characteristics be met, for example: good communication and the understanding that the other member of the couple also has feelings.
Mature love is based on the idea that this kind of love has to be worked for and things don’t happen by themselves. Two people can be very attracted to each other, yet not be able to control their emotions. The result is usually misunderstandings and excessively passionate behaviors that can deteriorate the relationship.
2. It is rational and realistic
And mature and authentic love is also a rational and realistic love, in which the person is aware of what they are experiencing and not only feels but also thinks.
Rational love knows that people are not perfect and that the relationship can go through ups and downs The real problem is not the ups and downs themselves, but how they are solved. Rational love is not fueled only by feeling nor is it pure impulse. In other words, it is a sensible love.
Authentic love is not the result of simple attraction, but there is something in it that makes you really care about the other person, that you feel her close, that she is your friend. You share good moments with your partner, you enjoy his or her presence, you learn new things with him or her and it is better than any friend you can have. She is, without a doubt, your best friend.
4. There is commitment
Commitment is key in relationships and authentic love This type of love is characteristic of individuals who are prepared for a relationship and have a clear vision of stability. Commitment is not bondage, but rather the desire to be with that person over time.
5. Joint projects
Commitment helps create common projects and visualize a shared future with that special person. If love is not true, it will be difficult for both members of the couple to make plans together beyond the present, for example, moving in together.
6. It is negotiated
Authentic love is based on negotiation and dialogue, because each member of the couple does their part to understand the needs of the other person and, in addition, understands that the relationship is a matter of two. Authentic love is altruistic and works because it is a mature love, in which communication is a basic pillar of the relationship.
7. It is unconditional and the other person is respected
And therefore, It is a love that is based on respect It’s unconditional, and when things go wrong, you try to resolve them instead of looking the other way. That is why they negotiate and propose alternatives to solve the problems.
If you are in a relationship that makes you suffer, then it is not authentic love In true love the relationship is symmetrical: one day you give and the next the other member of the couple gives. There may be misunderstandings, but the good times far outweigh the bad times.
9. It’s free
It is free in the sense that there are no ties The person does not pressure the other person or force or submit with a manipulative attitude. Love flows because both members are comfortable with what they have and what they think. They respect and love each other.
10. Each member behaves as they are
For two people to love each other authentically, they must first love themselves Authentic love is born from one’s own love for oneself. We will hardly be able to love other people if we do not love ourselves as we are. If our relationship with ourselves is bad, as a result, we will be dependent on our partner. That’s not authentic love.
