As parents, it is impossible for us to protect our children from all the situations and problems they will face throughout their lives. Children must grow and develop in environments where parents are not present to lend a hand
However, we have a fundamental tool to help children become self-sufficient and make their own decisions: self-esteem.
Self-esteem in children: several prior clarifications
Fundamentally, we can say that Children’s self-esteem begins to be formed based on the relationships they establish with the people in their immediate environment: parents, siblings (if they have them), teachers and playmates
Self-esteem is expressed through the emotions and feelings that the child shows and depends largely on their self-image and their perception of self-efficacy. If the child perceives himself as confident in his own abilities and capabilities, the most natural thing is for him to develop high self-esteem. Otherwise, if the child does not trust her potential and has a poor perception of her capabilities and abilities, he will consolidate certain negative ideas and feelings towards himself, leading to low self-esteem.
The role of parents in the emotional well-being of the child
As parents, We have a great responsibility to foster good self-esteem in our children
Many times, Low childhood self-esteem is closely related to bad habits and the dynamic dysfunctional relationships that we learned from our parents If we do not give importance to these aspects in raising children, we run the risk of them growing up and consolidating some negative feelings and a bad perception about themselves.
10 strategies, techniques and tricks to increase your child’s self-esteem
Without further ado, let’s find out what are the best ideas to take care of your child’s self-esteem.
1. Be a role model
It is one of the most effective strategies: If you are a positive model for your child, he will learn from your way of being and doing Children learn by imitating adults. Therefore, it is not effective for us to order them to have certain habits and customs if then we, as parents, are the first to act in the opposite way.
If the child observes that you are a person who does not value himself, who complains all day and who avoids his tasks and responsibilities, the most natural thing is that he ends up adopting this negative model and ends up looking like you. For this reason It is necessary that we take care of our own self-esteem, in addition to our habits and values
2. Set limits and rules
It is important that as parents Let us establish clear limits and rules so that our children develop correctly These limits not only let them know that there are things that should not be done, but they also transmit a framework of interactions in which they can feel comfortable and safe, and therefore lay the foundations for good self-esteem.
Evidently, These limits must be consistent and reasonable
3. Censor the error, not the person
There are different ways to correct our child when he makes a mistake: we can scold and criticize him personally or we can focus our observation on the inappropriate behavior
It is essential that as parents we understand that we must avoid making the child feel excessively guilty for the mistake they have made, because it could be the case that they associate the mistake made with their own personality. Therefore, we should not use phrases like “you are of no use”. Focus on the behavior and do not make value judgments about the child
4. Value the effort, not the result
When we start a path, We should not reduce everything to the final result but to the challenge that it has entailed and the personal development and experience we have acquired trying to achieve our objectives
We must be aware that the effort we have invested in that activity that motivates us so much is much more important than the fact of whether we have been able to reach the objectives we had set for ourselves or not. For this reason It is essential that we value the children’s efforts, even if for some reason they have not been able to do it successfully In this way we can make you notice that if you put effort into things you will be able to make adequate progress, and that the obstacles you encounter will only be temporary.
Children’s rational thinking goes through different phases of maturation, and This implies that they do not always follow logical coherence Sometimes, they may be harboring certain irrational and erroneous thoughts about themselves, which can negatively affect their self-esteem.
If you identify any of these limiting or mistaken beliefs, It is important that you do everything possible to correct it, so that it does not become consolidated in your mind For example, we must prevent them from having obsessions about their physical appearance or doubting their intellectual abilities. We must teach them to love themselves as they are. We must help our children to look at themselves objectively, so that they can form a realistic and positive self-concept.
6. Show unconditional love towards your child
Many parents make a common mistake: They encourage children to have to “earn their love” by behaving well or achieving certain academic or other achievements If we make them see that our affection is not unconditional, the child will base his self-esteem on the approval of others and we will be encouraging him to have a withdrawn personality.
To avoid this, Parents must offer our unconditional love to them This does not mean that we should tolerate negative behaviors, but it does mean that we have to show our understanding and affection even though the child may make mistakes and have some limitations. In bad times, for example when he has made a mistake that has made him feel bad, is when a child most needs to know that we support him and that we are very proud of him.
7. Encourage the child to take certain risks
Overprotective parents raise children with low self-esteem If we do not let our son be able to test his skills and abilities, he will not be able to know what his limits are and therefore will not be able to improve his abilities, with which we will be encouraging him to be an insecure and fearful child. .
Therefore, it is advisable that from an early age we encourage our children to face certain challenges, even when it may involve a risk, albeit controlled. This will allow them to improve their skills and expand their world It is important to emphasize that the child’s identity is built through each new experience, therefore it is not appropriate to limit its field of action.
8. Let the little one make mistakes
Every mistake is a new learning. We must not fall into the tendency to excessively direct the child’s life, because we will be limiting their possibilities to learn and come out stronger both maturationally and in their self-confidence. The life lessons learned in each experience can be important for your development.
We must encourage children, far from experiencing frustration, to experiment with new challenges and support them when they require it so that they can improve their cognitive skills and self-confidence.
9. Avoid exaggerating your achievements and abilities
Good self-esteem is not the same as artificially inflated self-esteem, but is based on a balanced and realistic self-concept. Therefore, we should not try to flatter the child all the time and exaggerate his personal abilities and achievements, but we simply have to let him know of his good results thanks to the effort and commitment he has put into the task.
In fact, Wanting to exaggerate the virtues of children can have the opposite effect to what we would like, since we can lower their self-esteem So, if, for example, he is good at playing soccer, we can let him know and motivate him, but it is not a good idea to put it in his head that he will be the next Leo Messi, because he can carry excessive and unrealistic pressure.
10. Spend quality time with him
A good idea to help develop good self-esteem in your child is get him to understand that he is very important to you For that, you should try to dedicate quality time to it.
We already know that adult life is full of schedules and obligations that do not allow us to spend as much time as we would like with our children. If you cannot attend to him at a specific time, it is preferable that you let him know and that you dedicate your attention to him at another time. The child must notice that, although we cannot be with him whenever we would like, we have a great interest in attending to his needs and give him all the love possible.
