In some ways, our lives are made up of habits and routines.
What we do defines who we are, and to some extent, if we change the way we live our daily lives we are also changing ourselves. Our habits have transformative power, and this can also be applicable to emotional intelligence.
In fact, the very idea of ​​what emotional intelligence is suggests that it can be trained through routines. If emotional intelligence is, ultimately, our ability to manage emotions successfully and we make the way in which these emotions appear vary, we will also be transforming the challenge of facing them into something else.
11 habits of people with good emotional intelligence
Below I present 11 habits that characterize people with high intelligence Taking into account this list of characteristics can be helpful to know to what extent we are close or far from this “ideal” of an emotionally intelligent person and also to try new strategies to develop this type of intelligence.
Of course, this is a compilation of characteristics that serve as guidance, not as an absolute criterion to differentiate people with high emotional intelligence and clearly distinguish them from those who are not. Intelligence is a gray scale, not two categories clearly separated from each other
1. They learn to express their feelings clearly
People with high emotional intelligence They know that managing their own emotions does not mean repressing them However, they also know that, when we are in the company of other people, we must take into account the way in which they interpret what we express. Balance is the key in interactions.
That’s why, They try to find ways to honestly reveal their emotional state , without generating contradictory messages. This requires training in how you self-examine your emotions, which brings us to our next point. We are talking about sincere and authentic people.
2. They always listen to their own needs
Having good emotional intelligence means, among other things, be clear at all times that human needs go far beyond physiological ones , such as food or drink, and include others of an emotional nature. That is why people with high emotional intelligence get into the habit of reflecting on what they feel, and that they have the same amount of needs of this type as any other person.
Monitoring this dimension of one’s own psychology gives the possibility of improving when making a diagnosis of the possible emotional conflicts that may arise in oneself.
3. They train themselves to identify feelings well
It is of little use to monitor the emotional state if one does not know how to distinguish one type of emotion from another. That is why those people who stand out for having good emotional intelligence They strive to find the differences and similarities between those emotional nuances they feel
They can do this both by focusing on their own emotions and those of others, or even by immersing themselves in works of fiction in which the characters have complex personalities and a well-developed psychological dimension. Furthermore, it is necessary that they generate their own way of designating these emotions, using words that they know well.
4. They struggle to manage their attention well
People with high emotional intelligence keep in mind that there are so many painful experiences in the world that, if we focused only on them, we would not be able to stand up. However, they also know that something similar happens with happy experiences, so if we only had the latter in our heads, we would live in a very stimulating reality, although very separated from reality.
That is why They try to direct attention based on criteria that are useful to themselves , and they do not fall into the trap of entering a loop of optimism or pessimism that traps their way of perceiving things. In other words, they govern their focus of attention so that it does not govern them.
5. They analyze the viability of their aspirations
Although in capitalist society taking risks is rewarded without practically thinking about the consequences of failure, Emotionally intelligent people tend to decide which projects to spend their time on and their efforts depending on the expected possibilities of success, so as not to work on an unrealistic framework of expectations.
In this way, success or failure does not come so suddenly that they cannot assimilate its impact.
6. They tend to avoid believing that others want to harm them
Emotionally intelligent people They don’t have to be trusted , but at the same time they do not believe that the plans or motivations of others involve harming them, as if this in itself were a sought-after objective. That’s why incidents are rarely taken personally.
7. They exercise self-criticism
Looking back and acknowledging mistakes can be as helpful as it is therapeutic, and That is why self-criticism is a resource highly valued by people with high emotional intelligence
This will not only make it difficult for certain conflicts with other people to remain entrenched, but will also allow them to have a more realistic and detailed vision of both their own capabilities and the aspirations and motivations that drive them. This gives them better resources to overcome their fears and progress day by day.
8. They spend time learning what other people are like.
emotional intelligence It also consists of not going with prefabricated speeches about what the different types of emotions are like
That is why to make use of this capacity it is necessary to first learn on the ground about what these emotions are like and how they are expressed in each of the people who matter, to know the best way to relate to them.
9. They learn ways to motivate themselves
One of the best ways to learn to recognize your own style of expressing emotions is experiment with what is motivating and what is not Additionally, the results of this learning process can be applied instantly.
Recommended article: “60 motivational phrases to focus on success”
10. They spend time with the people they connect with best
People with high emotional intelligence They don’t have to seek the company of people who look like them , but with those with which they fit best. However, from time to time they step out of their comfort zone to open up to new friends, which allows them to learn more about themselves.
11. They are not afraid to meet new people
People with high emotional intelligence, despite being more or less extraverted, They are able to open themselves to new experiences
This also positively influences their social aspect. They are people who are not afraid to meet other people, even if they may come from worlds different from their own.
Related article: “Guide to meeting new people”