11 Ways In Which The Opinion Of Others Can Limit Us
Taking other points of view into account is always enriching. However, being guided exclusively by the opinions of others, ignoring our own criteria, can be a very limiting tendency.
Human beings are social beings, that is, we need to belong to a group to survive. To be part of a community we need to be accepted, valued, respected In this way, we manage to gain self-confidence and recognize our worth. Needing the protection and support of others is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of our humanity.
When we are going to take an important step, make a decision or choose a path in life, it is natural that we ask for advice from those close to us. Having other points of view enriches us and helps us gain perspective. It even makes it easier for us to contemplate issues that we could have overlooked.
However, there are those who give the opinions of others excessive importance. Instead of being received as an interesting point of view that may or may not be accepted, it is assimilated as the right thing to do. It is assumed that what others dictate is the absolute truth, what should be done. Thus, we do not have our own firm criteria, since decisions lean towards one side or the other of the scale depending on what others think or expect of us.
Giving importance to other opinions does not mean ignoring our own inner voice. Being guided solely by another’s perspective can, in fact, be a problem. Giving so much weight to external opinions can limit us in many ways which we are going to discuss in this article.
As we have been commenting, having the opinion of our loved ones is a natural necessity. In fact, listening to other points of view always nourishes us and helps us broaden our view of a particular situation. However, the truth is that when we let ourselves be carried away solely by the judgment of others we run the risk of losing our way and disconnecting from ourselves.
The truth is that the ability to act autonomously is something that begins to develop from early childhood. When we are born, we are fully dependent on our caregivers, who guide and protect us. They decide for us because we simply do not have the capacity to do so. Over time, as we grow, we begin to conquer some important milestones. We become more comfortable performing basic self-care tasks, such as washing ourselves, dressing ourselves, or eating. Overcoming these challenges is essential to, in the future, transfer that autonomy to more complex issues such as studies, work or relationships.
This path towards autonomy is always progressive Our caregivers are leaving us more and more room for action, placing increasing responsibility on us. This gradual transition is essential for the correct development of any child, although it is not a simple task. In the process, children must learn to deal with frustration, doubts or fear. Overprotecting and wrapping a child in a bubble without responsibilities makes it impossible for her to build her own criteria, as well as a positive self-concept for her.
Gaining autonomy and responsibility frees us, as this gives us confidence to take steps forward without asking permission from others. Having a clear idea of things allows us to live a full life, just the way we want it and not how others tell us it should be.
11 ways in which the opinions of others can limit us
As we see, letting ourselves be carried away by other people’s criteria can deeply harm us. Next, we are going to discuss some specific ways in which the opinions of others can limit us.
1. Reduces happiness
When we live at the expense of what others think of us it is difficult to feel happy with ourselves. We divert the focus to others, which prevents us from connecting with what we want and feel Being happy with our life requires looking inward and finding our own path regardless of what others may think.
2. Reduces freedom
When what others think becomes the focus, we feel much more limited in our ability to act. In short, we sacrifice our freedom to fit into the molds imposed from outside. Before taking a step we do not reflect on how it will affect us, because what torments us is the opinion of others. This It becomes a kind of mental prison which leads us to stop being spontaneous and follow the path that truly fulfills us.
If we only consider other people’s opinions and silence our voices, it is difficult for us to know ourselves well. We don’t allow ourselves to think about what we want, what we like or satisfies. We do what we believe is expected of us, which encourages us to become strangers to ourselves. We don’t know what we expect from life because we have always assumed that the right thing to do is what society dictates.
4. It wastes time
Living off the opinions of others robs us of one of the most precious assets: time. If we act for and to please and satisfy expectations, we dedicate all our time and energy to things that do not really nourish our soul. We become slaves dependent on external validation to feel good, without accepting what we really are.
5. Prevents setting limits and saying no
When we care greatly about the opinions of others, we don’t really know what we want or need. This prevents us from drawing clear boundaries in our relationships and saying NO on time. All of this leads to doing things that we really don’t want to do and living playing a kind of role of eternal pleaser.
6. It leads to taking responsibility for issues that do not belong to oneself
People who depend on external validation tend to do whatever it takes to feel accepted. This can lead to taking blame and responsibility for situations that don’t even have to do with oneself. The fear of rejection is such that one’s own rights are sacrificed.
7. Damages self-esteem
When others convey their opinion to us in an unassertive way, it is possible that their comments hurt us They can even convince us to put aside our plans and ideas, which cease to be important and become “nonsense.” In this way, being guided by the criteria of others can do a lot of damage to our self-esteem.
8. Prevents achieving goals
Those who depend on other people’s opinions to take any step forward often find themselves hindered in achieving goals. Even if you have set out to achieve something, a contrary comment from someone can be enough to demolish your aspirations.
We all have our own opinion and we have the right to express it. However, when we care too much about what others think, we run the risk of repressing it and even changing it in order to fit into the group’s expectations.
10. It hinders decision making
Relying on other opinions often makes decision making difficult. Choosing between several alternatives is never an easy task, but it becomes even more complex if we are not able to listen to our inner voice. Deciding necessarily implies making sacrifices and assuming a risk of error so those who fear the judgment of others can enter a state of blockage in situations of this type.
11. It makes people fake
When we are worried about what others think of us, it is common to try to please everyone. We cannot tolerate the possibility of suffering rejection, so we change our way of being and behaving depending on the moment and the person. This gives rise to fake, false people who are not genuine because deep down they do not accept who they are.
Conclusions
In this article we have talked about some negative effects that the opinions of others can have on oneself. Although taking into account other people’s points of view can help us broaden our perspective and enrich ourselves, the truth is that giving too much weight to what others think can play tricks on us.
Thus, other people’s opinions can become a very limiting aspect that makes us live more attentive to the expectations of others than to our own needs. Acquiring autonomy and forming one’s own criteria is a process that begins in childhood, when we begin to develop individualization with respect to our attachment figures. Achieving an increasing degree of independence is key to becoming adults capable of thinking and acting for themselves.
When we are completely dependent on what others think, it is more difficult to lead a full and satisfying life. We sacrifice our freedom, because we impose limits on ourselves and give up what we want for fear of being judged. In short, we waste time, which we end up spending on things that do not fulfill us simply because it is what is considered correct. When we allow ourselves to be guided by outside voices we forget our own, which prevents us from becoming genuine people capable of making their own decisions.
