The end of the year is approaching and with it the typical list of resolutions for 2018. Within that wish list, in a large number of cases we will find old acquaintances such as “going to the gym”, “losing weight”, “give up smoking”. Purposes that are generally abandoned shortly after beginning to be carried out, or that are not even attempted to be fulfilled at all.
The reason for this? There may be many, but if we leave the excuses aside we find that one of the biggest obstacles is lack of willpower.
And it can be difficult to maintain, given that on a day-to-day basis, there are many situations that can lead us to become discouraged and stop trying hard for something. Therefore, in this article we are going to talk about how to have more willpower.
We all or almost all of us know or have an idea about what willpower is, and it is easy to find an example of this capacity or its absence. But in order to improve the understanding of what we are proposing to increase, it is useful to make a brief definition of the concept we are talking about.
Willpower is understood as that ability or ability to pursue a specific goal despite the existence of obstacles, difficulties and distractors. It is not about knowing how to reach the goal itself, but about persisting in the will to achieve it even though we may not know how to face the difficulties that prevent us from reaching it. We would therefore be faced with the idea of not giving up on our aspirations, not giving up and persevering even if we do not see immediate results.
Willpower usually correlates positively with the ability to delay gratification: people who are able to postpone obtaining gratification in order to be rewarded later with something that particularly motivates them.
Let’s look at the examples given in the first paragraph of this article: losing weight or going to the gym. The objective is something desired and rewarding for those who set it as a goal, but it requires a continued effort over time which can be relatively long. And in between, continuous temptations will appear in the form of food, drink, plans or obstacles such as fatigue and even suffering.
The same thing happens with someone who wants to quit smoking: they know that it is something they want to quit, but picking up a cigarette gives them immediate satisfaction. Only those people who are able to resist the temptation to obtain immediate reinforcement to achieve their goal They will be able to persist until they reach their goal (although they may have some occasional falls).
Tips to have more willpower
Willpower, in short, is an important skill that is highly valued socially, personally and also in the workplace and academic environment. But not something that appears out of nowhere, but rather it is a psychological capacity that It is acquired and enhanced throughout life.
In this sense, we can carry out different activities to improve willpower. Some strategies and actions that can help us are the following.
1. Set clear objectives
One of the possible reasons why you cannot maintain the willpower to do something is ignorance and lack of security in what we want. Setting clear objectives and knowing how to achieve them is essential and helps us generate sufficient motivation and willpower to pursue them.
2. Be realistic
Another of the biggest problems that most people have is that they want immediate and unrealistic results. I want to lose 15 kilos in a month or I want to stop doing something I’ve been doing for the last ten years at a moment’s notice. People who already have great willpower as a base could achieve it, but the majority of the population should keep in mind that to achieve something, shortcuts usually do not work and that a continued and prolonged effort over time is required. Take into account previous experiences and adjust your expectations regarding what it may cost you to achieve your goal.
3. Step by step: divide tasks into subtasks
Something very useful to achieve your goals and at the same time strengthen your willpower is divide your goal into different steps, phases or subtasks. Identify and create short and medium-term objectives that allow you to reach the final objective.
4. Establish a schedule
The opposite of the previous point can also be a problem: setting a goal to meet in an indeterminate period of time can lead us to procrastinate and do nothing. That is why it is highly advisable to establish prior planning of the time that we are going to dedicate to a specific objective and make an effort to achieve it. In this way we will advance in our objective, and the knowledge of this fact will reinforce the motivation to move forward.
Related to the previous point, another means that can help strengthen our willpower and achieve our goals is to keep a record of our activity, so that we can value our achievements and progress.
6. Give yourself small rewards
Achieving something at once is very complicated. Self-gratifying as we progress towards achieving goals (as long as said self-gratification does not go against the final goal itself) can help us preserve and strengthen our motivation.
7. Don’t do everything at once
We all have many goals throughout life. However, if our goal is to find a partner, play sports, be more productive at work, lose weight, sign up for a cooking course and complete three master’s degrees and two doctorates, we are going to end up doing nothing or exhausting ourselves. We must take into account that we can’t do everything at once. And much less if what we are trying to do is train willpower: the most advisable and healthy thing is to identify one element at a time and focus on it.
8. Meditation
The practice of meditation contributes greatly to strengthening willpower, relativizing the importance of things and seeing the world from a more focused perspective. In fact, it has been shown how the habitual practice of meditation reduces stress levels and even contributes to improving the synaptic connectivity of brain regions, such as the prefrontal.
9. Exhibition
One of the ways to train willpower is, precisely, to expose yourself to stimuli that test it. It is about encouraging us to resist temptation. To do this, it may be useful to start by exposing ourselves to situations that, although they are tempting, do not generate an immediate and irresistible need, and then little by little and as we see that we can resist, we proceed to expose ourselves to elements that cause us greater attraction.
It is possible to directly expose ourselves to the elements that are most difficult for us to resist, but with this we also risk not being able to withstand it and causing it to decrease rather than increase willpower. If applied correctly and achieved, this method will also helps us improve our sense of competence and self-efficacy which can also contribute to increasing self-esteem.
Generally, when doing anything, various self-verbalizations come to mind regarding what to do and how.
Frequently, these self-instructions include mental and emotional content and expectations about the result (for example if we are going to do it well or badly, if we are going to achieve our goal or not, etc.). Try to make these instructions positive and include messages that reinforce and positively consider one’s own ability, it can make us feel more capable in the long run and increase willpower.
11. Find a role model
One way to strengthen willpower is get inspiration from people you appreciate and admire. Learn about them and their way of doing things and achieving their goals. Observing the presence of great willpower can help us try to imitate it and strengthen our own.
12. Relativize and accept falls
No matter how much we have willpower, we can all fall at some point when we forget our goal or have a moment of weakness in which we do the opposite of what we intend.
This can lead us to blame ourselves, feeling incompetent and finally becoming demotivated and giving up. A good idea to increase our willpower is, although it may seem contradictory, to accept that we can fail and have some moment of weakness. Of course, without overdoing it in being self-indulgent: it’s about not beating yourself up if a fall occurs, not just letting them happen.
13. Better accompanied
Maintaining motivation and willpower to achieve a goal is complicated. Receiving external support in the process or establishing a shared goal makes it more difficult to fall into temptation. On the other hand, It also depends on each person’s attitude: If someone continually tempts you to abandon your goal, it will become a challenge for your willpower.
14. Exercise
What for many people is a goal to achieve can also serve to help us increase our willpower to do others. Tensing and relaxing our muscles can help us strengthen not only our body but also our mind. releasing endorphins and improving our feeling of competence. Furthermore, it requires an effort that diverts part of our attention from possible temptation.
