15 Keys To Know If He Is The Love Of Your Life (or Not)
Find the love of our life It is one of the great motivations of our existence, and when we are in a relationship, we may wonder if the person we are with is really the one we want to spend the rest of our life with.
But the answer to this question is not always simple, since the concept of love is really complex. In fact, there is a lot of research that has been carried out to understand this immense feeling, and experts have not always agreed when it comes to defining it.
Love and infatuation are concepts that are often confused, and someone whom we may consider to be the love of our life at the beginning of the relationship, may not be so after a few years. Because? Because love as a couple is a socially constructed phenomenon, and we must not forget that the relationship is still an interpersonal relationship, which can break at any time, taking with it the immense feeling that we may have felt for that person. The love of your life is a love that you work for, that takes care of itself every day.
The feeling of love is not enough for relationships to last
And relational dynamics influence the maintenance of love, and It is not enough to feel a great attraction towards a person and have many things in common For the relationship to continue and that person to become the love of our life, it is necessary to take care of the relationship, do our part and, many times, make the decision to stay together.
Irrational love can be a great obstacle for love to succeed, while mature or rational love has a better chance of staying alive even in bad times. Efficient negotiation and communication, respect and even the healthy self-esteem of the members of the couple help love win the game in the face of conflicts.
The three key qualities in relationships
Psychologists, sociologists and doctors have tried to understand human behavior regarding love. One of the best-known researchers in this regard is Robert Sternberg. For him, love is based on three key components: intimacy, passion and commitment According to his triangular theory of love, for a person to be the love of your life they must possess these elements.
Intimacy refers to the closeness between the two actors in a relationship That is, it is the emotional connection, trust and affection that you have for each other. Passion refers to attraction, excitement, the desire to connect and be with another. Finally, commitment is the decision to be together despite the difficulties that may arise in the relationship.
Sternberg states that there are different types of love depending on how these three elements are combined. Love, therefore, can be classified in the following ways:
Staying with someone is a decision
Before knowing what are the keys that help detect if the person you are with is the love of your life, it is important to know that in this concept It has a lot to do with cultural influence Likewise, knowing if a person is the love of your life only makes sense in the present moment, with being good in the here and now with your partner, since love relationships have to be worked on every day, and there may be periods in which problems arise in the relationship.
Staying with someone is a decision that has to do with each person’s way of thinking and the way each member understands relationships. Likewise, it also has to do with conflict resolution ability of the participants. So in a way it’s an individual process. There are people who do not value someone they had at one point in their life, and a few years later, when they have matured, they realize what they have lost.
Keys to know if he is the love of your life
Now, if you feel good about someone, are attracted to you, see yourself with him or her in the future, and respect your opinions, that person is possibly the love of your life (at least at that particular moment). Definitely, The love of your life is the one who makes you feel like you are in a healthy relationship and, therefore, it has the following characteristics:
1. It is unconditional
The love of your life is unconditional, because respects you and loves you despite the bad times She does not judge, but accepts.
2. He is generous
He is generous and cares about giving. It is a balanced love, in which the two members they give and receive equally
3. He is a negotiator and prone to resolving conflicts
Not having conflicts with the love of your life is unreal, because each person has their opinions and life is not always easy. But the love of your life will worry about negotiating and communicating with you to solve any problem that may appear in the relationship.
4. It doesn’t make you suffer
Obviously there are bad moments and good moments in a relationship. But when you find the love of your life, the good times far outweigh the bad times.
5. He is respectful
A true love It’s not selfish, because he cares about his partner’s needs. She also takes into account the other member’s opinions and respects them.
Respect makes you have great trust with the love of your life. Therefore, the emotional connection is very deep and flows constantly.
7. It is built over time
Falling in love can be based on great attraction, but over time, this attraction can decrease and conflicts due to not having enough intimacy or commitment can lead to a breakup. The love of your life is a mature love, which is built little by little.
8. It makes for fun moments
The love of your life is an unforgettable love, because it makes you feel good times. That It does not mean that 24 hours a day you have to live in a cloud but on a global level, satisfaction with the relationship is a reality.
9. Feed sexuality
Sexuality does not have to be the same as the first days of the relationship, but the love of your life will work so that the flame of passion is not lost
10. He is detail-oriented
The love of your life is detail-oriented, and these details are not necessarily material. Your true love doesn’t leave you aside because he works daily so that the relationship does not deteriorate.
11. He cares about the relationship
The love of your life is aware that a relationship must be worked on because it goes beyond falling in love. It is an altruistic love.
12. It’s realistic
It is a mature love and, therefore, realistic. Don’t live off unrealistic expectations nor does he idealize the other person. It is a rational love.
13. He is honest
There is fluid communication with the love of your life, and great respect. There are no big secrets, because there is nothing to hide.
14. He is not dependent
In authentic love, the two members of the relationship are good together and it is not a dependent love, mainly because each one has their own space and a healthy self-esteem.
15. It is a support
The love of your life is a support, he is a friend with sensual moments. Respects you, understands you and you have good times together.
