17 Toxic Emotions That You Should Eliminate From Your Life
The correct management of emotions is closely linked to our happiness because these influence our thinking, our behavior and, obviously, our mental health.
That is why the topic of toxic emotions is of special interest both as a topic to discuss (is it appropriate to talk about this type of emotions with that name?) and as a phenomenon that we experience.
The management of emotions and Emotional Intelligence
In recent decades, the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EI) has become very popular in the field of psychology, as its use becomes increasingly necessary to improve people’s well-being and quality of life. Education in emotional intelligence is one of the keys to preparing mentally strong people who can face the different difficult situations or challenges that life presents them.
Emotionally strong people have a great capacity for self-knowledge, they detect the emotions they are feeling and regulate them based on the context in which they find themselves.
This is appropriate, because It is not always easy to know how to distinguish between types of emotions Many times, there are cases where the same person understands less what they are feeling than those who interact with them on a daily basis, because the simple fact of experiencing those emotions firsthand can lead us to interpret them in a biased way, fallacious
Fortunately, the ability to regulate and recognize emotions is something that can be learned, at least within limits. And that implies that We are able to limit the power that toxic emotions have on us This requires practice and patience, but the fruits are noticeable in different areas of our lives, given that our emotional state never ceases to influence us at any time.
Types of emotions: positive and toxic
There are different types of emotions and, therefore, recognizing them is key so that we can regulate our behavior. Becoming aware of our emotions is the first step to improving our well-being, but it is also necessary to interact with other people effectively.
In addition to other classifications of emotions, Depending on how they affect the person, they can be positive or negative (toxic) The positive ones, which are also known as healthy, positively affect people’s well-being and are pleasant when one feels them. On the other hand, negative emotions, also known as toxic, negatively affect the person who feels them and are unpleasant, which is why we tend to avoid them.
Unfortunately, this classification of positive and negative emotions causes us a lot of suffering, because we can stay stuck in these toxic emotions if we do not face them and if we do not accept them.
We must be clear that there is nothing wrong with feeling those unpleasant emotions, that they can be nothing more than a warning signal and can help us grow. However, When we stay in them for a long time they become toxic emotions and cause us enormous suffering
toxic emotions
As we have seen, there are different types of emotions, but what are disabling emotions? What characteristics do toxic emotions present?
Below you can find a complete list with these negative emotions
1. Dependent attachment
Attachment is the emotional bond we build with other people. It develops in childhood, already with the first contacts with the mother. Although attachment in and of itself is neither good nor bad, there are different types of attachment. Secure attachment is, without a doubt, the healthiest. On the other hand, dependent attachment causes us a lot of suffering and does not allow us to be happy. It is a type of insecure attachment, in which the person has low self-esteem and is easily manipulated.
2. Fear
Fear is an emotion that is considered negative but is actually adaptive and useful. The problem arises when fear takes over our lives, and low self-esteem and lack of confidence make us afraid of everything. Fear must be faced and overcome because, otherwise, it is highly disabling
3. Despair
While patience is one of the best virtues that a human being can possess, desperation is the complete opposite. Even more so when it dominates our lives and doesn’t let us be happy. It is largely based on rumination, that is, a tendency to think all the time about what makes us feel worst without being able to imagine or carry out ways to solve the problem.
4. Jealousy
Jealousy is one of the worst emotions we can feel, because not only do they hurt another person, but they do it to ourselves. Jealousy makes us unhappy people and makes us have very bad times by always thinking about ideas that undermine our self-esteem and make us adopt a hostile attitude.
5. Resentment
Resentment is one of those emotions that prevent us from moving forward, especially because it accumulates and remains stagnant within us seeking to express itself in some way, usually in the form of anger. Resentful people present a series of characteristics that you can find by clicking here.
6. Feeling of failure
When we have unrealistic or very high expectations, we can make the mistake of constantly feeling like failures It is normal for us to feel a little unmotivated, at first, when we do not get what we want or when things do not go as we had planned. However, we must see the good side of things, and these events that at first may seem negative to us, can be perfect opportunities to grow.
Although we believe that being proud makes us strong in the face of others, in reality It can be an obstacle to our well-being and our interpersonal relationships
It makes us easily offended or angry over nothing, or even artificially creating conflicts where there shouldn’t be any. So we must avoid this type of behavior because it usually only serves to complicate our lives more and distance us from a humble attitude that allows us to learn.
You may be interested: “5 tips to stop being so proud”
8. Laziness
Laziness is familiar to us as one of the capital sins, but it is also negative for us if it becomes a constant. It can make us not face challenges and manifests itself through reluctance. Laziness makes us careless and we must avoid being defeated, as it can sabotage our most important plans, causing us to never undertake interesting projects, arriving late, etc.
9. Whimsy
Caprice is another of the toxic emotions that make us tremendously unhappy A whim is a totally irrational desire, in which we desire something intensely, but when we have it it makes us feel empty and in search of something else, something that satisfies our empty desire. Therefore, it usually goes hand in hand with a feeling of loss of time.
10. Envy
There is nothing good to say about envy, because this emotion traps us and turns us into miserable people. It makes us pay attention to others when true happiness is found in ourselves. Envy seriously damages our well-being and our interpersonal relationships.
11. Shame
Shame is one of those disabling and paralyzing emotions, which do not allow us to be ourselves or develop as we should. In fact, this is one of the most common toxic emotions and causes great suffering. We must arm ourselves with courage and not let shame take over ourselves.
12. Anger
Anger is one of the emotions that we must control very carefully n, because when we live with other individuals, we cannot give free rein to this impulse. Although in certain contexts it is useful (for example, when immediately removing people from our lives who do us a lot of harm), anger seriously damages interpersonal relationships and is a breeding ground for conflicts. It is the opposite of peace and reconciliation.
13. Distress
Anxiety is a fairly common emotion that must be avoided at all costs because it makes us live in continuous discomfort This emotion can cause us to make wrong decisions and affects our behavior in a negative way. Furthermore, if this situation continues for a long time, it can greatly weaken our immune system.
Dissatisfaction also makes us tremendously unhappy, because it manifests itself in such a way that the reality we live never meets our expectations. No matter how well we do and what we have achieved in our lives, nothing is enough. One of the causes of dissatisfaction is perfectionism.
15. Melancholy
Sadness is normal and it happens to all of us. In fact, there is nothing wrong with feeling sad when there is a reason that requires us to go through a grieving phase. But when that grief lasts a long time and sadness becomes a habit, then we must consider getting out of this situation. Melancholy is really harmful to us because it paralyzes us and causes us great unnecessary suffering.
16. Victimism and constant crying
Victimhood is a toxic emotion that denotes insecurity in the person. It is characterized by the person always feeling like a victim of everything that happens and does not take control of the situation or do anything to get out of it.
You may be interested: “Chronic victimhood: people who complain about vice”
17. Toxic guilt
We can all feel guilty at some point in our lives, but we have to learn to forgive ourselves if we can’t do anything to remedy it. Living with this emotion constantly is painful, which is why it is important to differentiate real guilt from non-real guilt. The latter refers to blaming oneself without being at fault and is the most harmful form.
Putting the types of toxic emotions in perspective
The appearance or not of the types of toxic emotions largely depends on the emotional education we have to prevent the discomfort from becoming chronic.
Emotional education is important because it teaches us to deal with these emotions and accept them Its benefits are:
Know ourselves better and label the emotions we feel
Improve our self-esteem and our self-confidence
Make better decisions and think more clearly
Perform more at work and improve occupational health and interpersonal relationships with clients
Reduce stress and protect ourselves against it
Improve relationships with others and be more empathetic
Grow and develop
Improve our psychological well-being
Taking this into account, training ourselves to distinguish toxic emotions by their causes and by the characteristics that distinguish them from other emotions will be key to improving quality of life.
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Levenson, R. W. (1994). Human emotion. A functional view. In P. Ekman & RJ Davidson (Eds). The nature of Emotions: Fundamental Questions. New York: Oxford University Press.
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