Raising a child is never easy. Being a parent means taking into account a large number of aspects that can affect how our progeny can develop.
Although most parents do the best they can and in most cases end up doing it well, it is common to find people with doubts about what they should do to carry out their role in the best possible way.
In other words, it is not uncommon to wonder what to do to be a good father (or mother). Therefore, in this article you can find a series of tips to be a good father and provide a stimulating environment and promote correct physical and mental development.
1. Communicate and listen to your children
Children need to be shown interest in them, they need to feel important to their loved ones Listening to what they have to say, their experiences and concerns, implies that we care and are interested in them.
Likewise, the adult must also share their thoughts and emotions in a way that manifests trust and allows a close bond. It is very important to talk to your children and not to your children.
2. Share and spend time with them
The presence or absence of a specific parental figure is a very influential factor in the development of a boy or girl
Even if continuous contact is not possible due to work issues, the time spent with children should be enriching and active so that it is experienced as something motivating and exciting. Talk, read, play, teach them things or go on excursions with them.
3. Set an example
It’s easy to tell someone what to do, but what you end up learning is what you see others do. Our children will imitate the behavior they observe at home We must make our speech and our actions go hand in hand so that the child learns based on coherence.
Likewise, activities such as doing housework, reading or playing sports are carried out easily if the child observes that their reference figures usually carry them out.
It has been shown that the fact that both parents show affection with their children improves the latter’s level of happiness and self-esteem. Express your love and affection for your children directly it is something essential. It makes children feel accepted and loved.
It’s about making them see that you love them unconditionally. They also learn to show affection towards others and that such expression is not inappropriate or shameful.
5. Set limits
It is essential that the child has marked (although flexible) limits, in order to know what to do and how far they can go Being overly permissive will mean that you will not have a pattern by which to guide your behavior.
6. Don’t compare him to others
Making comparisons with other people can make the child think that he is not good enough or that he is appreciated or should appreciate himself based on what others have or do. Besides, This harms the parent-child relationship as well as it can harm the child’s possible relationship with the people with whom he is compared.
7. Praise their achievements
Very often people highlight the bad things that others do, while when they do something well we usually consider that what should have been done and no mention is made of it.
It is important for a child that when he does something well or meets a goal or achieves it be praised and celebrated on the part of the parents. In this way the child sees her good behavior reinforced. This is one of the most useful tips for being a good parent in order to enhance children’s learning.
8. Don’t overprotect him: give him space
A typical mistake made by many parents is the idea of ​​continually protecting their child, trying to limit possible situations that could harm them. But overprotection does not allow the individual to learn and grow and makes it difficult for them to be able to make their own decisions. Let him fall and make his own mistakes.
9. Avoid rigidity
An educational style that is too rigid can generate a pattern of fearful and insecure thinking and behavior, exaggerated reactivity or inflexible and limited behavior.
Some flexibility needs to be present that shows that things can change, that there are different points of view. The reason for the decisions must be explained to them. It’s about providing limits and some order but without becoming a tyrant.
10. Be interested in their vision of the world
They may not have the level of understanding of the situation as an adult, but children also generate their own opinions about the world. Ask for their opinion It allows us to know our child better and can serve to clear up doubts and fears in the child, in addition to making them see that their opinion is important and valid.
It is positive to believe in the possibilities of our children and motivate them to act and maximize their potential. However, we must try not to demand too much from them too quickly. Each person moves forward in life at the speed they can, and if excessive demands are made, they can end up blocking themselves and/or cause frustration and feeling that nothing you achieve is enough
12. Don’t yell at them
Sometimes children’s behavior can have negative effects and provoke us to a certain level of anger However, misbehaving is not a reason to yell at them. Screaming is a humiliating and painful act for them and does not fix the situation. It is preferable to calmly explain to them why their actions are not correct and what the results are, including possible punishments.
13. Answer their questions
Childhood and adolescence are times in which the youngest begin to observe different aspects of reality, discovering a large amount of information. The world is complex and what we observe can generate a lot of doubts. Answering them means increasing the information of the progeny regarding the different aspects of reality, while allowing a greater connection with them.
14. Don’t repress their emotions or yours
Repressing emotions, whether those of the child or one’s own, can cause the child to see them as a weakness or something aversive that should be hidden. It is highly recommended help its expression both directly and indirectly (through drawings or games).
For example, If someone close to you dies, it is not bad to cry in front of the minor, since this teaches him that it is not bad to express sadness. This is necessary for both positive emotions such as joy or love and negative emotions.
15. Monitor your expectations
It is logical that when a child is born, his parents think about what he will be like when he grows up and how they would like him to live life. However, we must try not to set excessively rigid expectations.
You and your children are not the same person. We must not try to make them live the life that we would like to have lived, but we must support them to live the life they themselves want to live
16. Be consistent
Ambivalence in the treatment of minors in the application of rules or the fact of not having clearly established limits, represents a high level of confusion for the developing child.
If you punish him for something but then buy him a toy to make him happy, you cause a contradictory message in which he will not know if something is right or wrong. The same thing happens if the rules change depending on who obeys them. It is necessary to be consistent when acting.
We may be tempted to be heroes to our children, someone who never makes mistakes and does everything right. However, everyone makes mistakes. Recognizing them means that the child is able to see the error not as something shameful but as something from which it can be improved.
Explaining the error and the reason for it represents an opportunity for learning and acquisition of values ​​such as honesty In the same way, it is necessary to accept that children make mistakes and not criticize or shame them for it, but rather understand and support them.
18. Generate a respectful family climate
It is very important for proper development to have an adequate family climate that generates positive stimulation and allows the acquisition of confidence and different values. This implies that we must not only focus on the child as a being, but also in the environment that we are offering
The bond between parents, their social life and participation in the community are aspects that will somehow end up being recorded in the mind of the minor.
19. Educate him
It may seem obvious, but It is important to participate in education of the children. Showing them a way of seeing the world, teaching them how to act and how society and the environment around them work, establishing limits and transmitting norms and values ​​such as respect, tolerance and coexistence are elements of great importance in the face of efficient and adaptive of the minor.
20. Don’t get obsessed with being a perfect father
Although these tips are designed to reflect and visualize different important aspects in the education of a boy or girl, we should not become obsessed with the idea of ​​doing everything well. There will be times when you feel bad, when you lose your patience, when you don’t realize that something is wrong with your child, when you can’t be present or that for some reason you make different mistakes
Thinking that we must always be perfect is harmful since it loses spontaneity and gives the appearance of being forced, which reduces credibility. Furthermore, the idea is transmitted to the child that we must always be exquisite in our dealings with others, which can cause him to be excessively demanding in his relationships both on his part towards others and vice versa.
21. Being a father is forever
Being a father is a lifelong thing It is not something that we can leave whenever we want nor something that has an expiration date when, when the child reaches the age of majority. Our adult children may not depend on us in the same way as in their childhood, but we must always be available to them.
