25 Questions About Gender Violence To Detect Abuse
Gender violence and intimate partner violence They continue to be a social problem to be taken into account today. Multiple people are attacked in different ways or even killed for reasons such as gender stereotypes, or the fact of belonging to a specific sex.
But in many cases, people who suffer this type of abuse do not dare to report due to fear of retaliation, believing that it is normal behavior or even because of the possible difficulty of establishing limits when classifying or not. a situation like gender violence.
Being able to detect gender violence is an essential requirement to be able to confront it. That is why there are multiple protocols and procedures dedicated to it. In this article we intend to indicate a series of Questions that can help detect cases of gender violence
Gender violence is any act in which a person is humiliated, attacked, coerced or in general harm is caused through violence. due to belonging to a specific sex or gender
Specifically, this type of violence is defined as specifically directed from men towards women because the acts of aggression are carried out based on gender stereotypes that They place the female sex as the weak and inferior sex and subject to the male sex The aim is to maintain a relationship of domination, superiority and power with the victim, based on said stereotypes. It generally occurs within the couple, although it is not the only one where it can be observed.
Yes ok There are also men who suffer abuse from women and in its concept this would be included as gender violence, it is not usually considered as such due to its lower frequency and the fact that the reason is not usually belonging to the male gender (although it is possible and occurs in some cases, which is why which the consideration and specificity that the term gender violence generally has today is criticized).
Violence between people of the same sex is not considered as such either (although it may also be gender roles that generate aggression).
The different types of abuse
Gender violence can include many different types of violence, such as psychological, physical, sexual or patrimonial It is common to try to isolate the victim and cause them to be dependent on the aggressor. Violence is usually carried out in three moments or phases: a first of escalation of tension, the aggression itself and finally a possible phase of repentance or “honeymoon”.
Due to the different forms of aggression that can exist and the different beliefs that some people have about it (for example, some victims believe they deserve such treatment), Sometimes it is difficult to identify which situations are or are not abuse even for the person attacked. That is why creating protocols that allow these situations to be identified is necessary.
Below we reflect some questions that it is possible to ask or that we ask ourselves in order to detect if we are suffering from some type of gender violence.
As with other types of violence, if these questions are asked in an interview it is possible to observe signs of abuse or inconsistencies between the verbal or written response and non-verbal behavior.
1. What role does a woman have in a relationship? And a man?
This question may seem innocent, but it allows us to know the opinion of the person being asked (be it the attacked party or the aggressor). regarding the role of each of the sexes
2. Does he ever humiliate you or criticize you in public or private?
Although abusers generally tend not to show any type of aggression in public and limit the aggression to the private sphere, it is sometimes possible to detect an undervaluation of the opinion or actions of the woman in question when they are in society.
3. Have you ever been pressured to have sexual relations or have you had them out of fear of your partner?
sexual violence, in the form of rape or through coercion is also frequent.
4. Has he ever pushed or hit you?
Physical violence is often the easiest to observe both externally and on the part of the victim, although sometimes it can be complex for the victim to stipulate where an aggression begins (for example, they may not consider that a push is such).
5. Do you feel that he is trying to distance you from your environment?
It is common for the abuser to try to distance the attacked person from their environment, making them dependent as much as possible.
6. Does it bother you that you have male friends or that you have contact with family and friends?
For the same reason as the previous one, the existence of contact with other men or close relationships can be seen as a threat to your relationship.
7. Have you ever taken your phone and looked at your messages without permission?
Jealousy and the possibility of being abandoned It usually causes the abuser to try to control interactions with other people.
8. Does he constantly send you messages to find out where and who you are with?
Another very common element observed in abuse is the exhaustive control of what the victim does, and especially with whom. Sometimes they even demand photos and evidence.
9. Does he insult you or call you derogatory names?
Making the victim feel inferior is a common mechanism in gender violence, which can serve to keep them under control and submissive.
10. Has your partner ever threatened you or any of your loved ones or made you feel like they were in danger if you didn’t do or stopped doing something?
Vicarious violence, especially with children, is used to coerce and sometimes prevents the victim from making decisions such as denouncing or leaving their partner.
11. Do you feel safe in your home?
People who experience gender violence often feel uneasy at home, fearing doing something that would trigger aggression
12. Do you frequently compare yourself to other people and put yourself below them?
Again, a common method of weakening the victim’s self-esteem is to point out the ways in which the aggressor sees the victim as inferior compared to other people.
13. Have you ever tried to report or withdraw a report against your partner?
Nowadays there are a large number of complaints of gender violence that are withdrawn due to the abuser’s promise to change or due to fear of possible repercussions for the victim or their environment.
14. Does he prevent you or try to convince you not to work?
The need to have power over women This often causes the person to not work, being economically dependent on the subject.
15. Does he decide for you?
Again, this question tries to make you think about whether there is a restriction of freedom and whether there is independence with respect to the other member of the couple.
16. Have you ever had to hide bruises?
It is common for people who suffer gender violence to try to hide the marks caused by physical attacks, with marks from fingers, bites, and punches being common on the face and other areas of the body.
17. Has he ever told you that you are worthless, that you deserve to be dead, or that he is the only one who could love you and you should be grateful?
These types of statements can become relatively frequent and the victims come to believe them, causing low self-esteem and the feeling that the aggressor is superior
18. When you go out, does he force you to dress up or not?
Some abusers use their partners as a trophy to show in public, forcing them to dress up and look spectacular. In other cases they are forced to maintain a low profile and appear as unpleasing as possible so that they cannot attract other people.
19. Does it prevent or prohibit you from doing something you want?
The restriction of freedoms, whether directly through force or prohibition or through the use of devaluations of certain actions, are very common in situations of gender violence.
20. Do you think you may deserve a slap from your partner?
Although most people would answer no, the manipulation to which they are subjected makes some victims consider themselves deserving of abuse.
21. What do you think would happen to your children if you left your husband?
Sometimes It is the presence of children and the possible repercussions for them that stops victims of gender violence to report and/or cease the relationship with the aggressor.
22. Have you ever threatened or hit your children to force you to do something, or blamed you for having to hit them?
Vicarious violence is used as a mechanism to coerce the victim and force them to remain submissive.
23. Do you think that abuse only occurs in broken families?
There is a myth that Abuse only occurs in broken families, in which there is drug consumption or in low-income families with a low educational level. In reality, it is possible to observe gender violence in very diverse situations regardless of socioeconomic level or type of family.
24. Do you consider that violence and abuse occur only when there are blows?
Many women and many men They believe that the use of insults or put-downs cannot be considered gender violence considering that only physical attacks are abuse.
25. Are you afraid or have you ever been afraid of him?
A direct question, but one that allows for a simple answer and for the victim to reflect on what they feel about their partner. Despite this, it must be taken into account that in some cases they may feel that the aggressor needs them or even express gratitude for the abuse.
