Have you lost sexual desire for a long time and don’t know what may have happened? In this article we will explore the emotional causes that can be the triggers for a decrease in your libidoand we will also talk about the concepts through which the solution to this problem arrives.
Hypoactive sexual desire is the absence of erotic fantasies and motivation to experience sexual relationswhich occurs persistently and permanently, leading to difficulties in relationships and discomfort.
The variables permanence and persistence are key in this definition. Sexuality and desire are cyclical, not every day is the same; However, if you notice as if your desire switch has been turned off for some time and this causes you discomfort both personally and with your partner, I will explain what the causes may be and some ideas to increase desire.
Causes of low sexual desire
When we talk about lack of desire It is important to rule out organic factors such as chronic diseases and hormonal problems. In this article I am going to focus on psychological-relational factors.
1. Problems in the relationship
When a couple is going through a rough patch, it is common for the sexual desire of at least one member of the couple to decrease. For the desire to be present it is necessary to feel comfortable; Factors such as feeling undervalued in the relationship, frequent arguments, or the feeling that you have fallen into a routine can affect at the level of desire.
Exploring conflicts in the relationship, such as lack of communication, will help you find ways to reactivate that desire. In these cases, desire can be fueled both personally and as a couple. It is important not to pressure the other person, but to start a new dynamic of seduction both with yourself and with your partner.
2. Stress and anxiety
Stress and anxiety trigger “alert mode” and emotional and physiological responses are triggered to deal with that “stressor.” When this occurs, one of the aspects that is affected first is sexual function.
Think about what would happen if you had a lion in front of you, all those aspects not related to survival are “blocked” until the threat has passed. Today, although the stressors are different, our response mechanisms to anxiety remain the same. Therefore, when you go through a time of uncertainty, a lot of stress or if you have anxiety, sexual desire is suppressed.
3. Low sexual desire derived from other sexual dysfunctions
Sexual dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation, vaginismus or anorgasmia usually cause discomfort.. If these problems persist over time, an avoidance response is activated. The person begins to avoid sexual relations and feels less and less desire.
If this is the case, it is very useful to work with a professional on underlying sexual dysfunction in order to restore desire.
How to reactivate desire?
There are many ways to reactivate desire. Once we know the causes of the lack of desire, it will be easier to design a plan that works for you. However, there are a number of central themes:
Many people don’t know what their body is like and how it works. This means that they can also be present certain taboos or preconceived ideas that restrict the way of living sexuality.
Explore fantasies and needs
Knowing what things stimulate you and make you enjoy, not only in sexual relations but in your life in general, reconnect with sensations of pleasure and enjoyment It is a good way to call desire.
Novelty and curiosity
Desire feeds on them, how can you incorporate these elements into your life?
Concluding
Remember, desire calls for desireit’s a matter of listening to yourself and allowing yourself to explore what makes you feel good.
On the other hand, professional help through sexology services are effective in overcoming this type of problem in all its forms, in the medium and long term. If you think that you need psychotherapeutic help with this task, contact me.
