4 Psychologically Healthy Habits To Overcome The Fear Of Making Decisions
It is said that knowledge creates ignorance: our ability to answer questions means that when we answer one unknown, many more arise in our minds, based on all those new things we know.
Something similar happens with our ability to make decisions, which is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, we are so good at working with several options or hypotheses and foreseeing the consequences of choosing each of them, but at the same time, this task has so many implications that sometimes it seems intimidating and makes our emotions overwhelm us. That is why some people aspire to not have to decide anything, which can degenerate into a real psychological problem. In this article we will see several habits that help face and manage that fear of making decisions.
For many years, a series of beliefs about human beings have spread that lead us to have a very biased vision of ourselves and that do not start from a realistic or scientifically informed perspective, but rather from prejudices and discourses driven by for ideological reasons. One of these myths about Homo sapiens, which places us in a position of superiority with respect to the rest of the animals, is that we are an eminently rational species, and that our mind has evolved to make decisions based on logic and consideration of costs and benefits almost from pure mathematics.
This idea fits very well if what we want is to feel good about ourselves and be able to find an apparently rational explanation for everything we do. It is comforting and “comfortable”, and invites optimism. However, as almost always, reality is much more complex than that. Both everyday life and History are full of examples of people who behave in a highly irrational way, generating much more discomfort than well-being, or even triggering situations in which from the beginning it was clear that none of those involved had anything to do with it. gain but a lot to lose.
In this sense, it is worth asking the following question: if the human being is a purely rational animal, how can it be explained that in certain circumstances we would rather have few options to choose from than have a few more ? Why is it common for us to be grateful to have someone make decisions for us, even if they are relatively important? The fear of making decisions is also an example that many psychological processes do not circulate on the rails of logic, but are influenced by very diverse aspects, some of which come from our emotional side.
In this case, what we observe is a pattern of avoidance: the person feels anxiety and all kinds of feelings linked to anguish when they find themselves in a situation in which they must make a decision, and they try by all means to postpone that task or delegate it to another person. It is a multi-causal phenomenon in which the following psychological phenomena may play a role:
The most effective way to deal with this type of fears and insecurities is to go to a psychologist, but you can also apply these habits to your daily life (as long as they do not clash with the instructions of the professional dealing with your specific case).
1. Set fixed rules for yourself to avoid falling into avoidance
The easiest way to momentarily mitigate the fear of making decisions is not to make them or to pressure someone else to make them for us. Therefore, to begin with, memorize these two rules: never delegate decisions in your personal (non-professional) life and never delay making a decision beyond a certain number of hours. It is important that you only set these two basic rules, so that you are very clear about what should not be done and you can build a new lifestyle based on these behavioral patterns.
2. Embrace your imperfections and make them visible
In order not to be afraid of giving a bad image or feeling bad about your abilities and your judgment, it is essential that you let go of the pretension of being a perfect person. Assume that it is normal to make mistakes and make this part of yourself visible, telling others about times when you were wrong, acknowledging your mistakes when you realize them… and above all, apologizing. If you normalize apology, it will be easier for you to accept it as a fundamental component of life and to remind you that most errors do not weigh like a stone constantly.
Time organization is important to overcome the fear of making decisions. If you stop associating the fact of having decisions on a “waiting list” (for a limited time) with discomfort, you are more likely to stop trying to avoid them. For that, keeping an agenda up to date can be a very good routine.
Related article: “Time management: 13 tips to take advantage of the hours of the day”
4. Do a regular review of your successes
If you gain awareness about those decisions you made and that turned out to be correct, You will have a more nuanced and realistic view of these types of experiences and you will normalize them.
You may be interested: “Personal SWOT matrix: what it is, parts, and how to do it”
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My name is Thomas Saint Cecilia and I am specialized in the cognitive-behavioral intervention model, helping adults and adolescents, as well as companies. You can count on my services both in my office located in Madrid and through the online mode by video call.
