4 Ways Of Thinking That Lead To Falling Into Toxic Relationships
Many times, we get used to living emotional relationships as if they were something that is given to us by life, as a kind of gift that we simply accept and experience without thinking too much about what we do. This idea may be very poetic, but in the long run, it exposes us to risks. Specific, It prevents us from questioning certain ideas about what it means to love and be loved
If we believe that opportunities to start a relationship arise spontaneously in our path, we lose sight of all those habits and customs that bring us closer to living love in a certain way, and not another. And, when all those decisions and behavioral tendencies that we are not aware of they bring us closer to having only toxic and unsatisfying relationships things become much more serious.
And the worst thing about going through a bad romance is not always that experience itself, but the fact of not having learned any lessons from it.
Ways of thinking that lead to falling again and again into toxic relationships
As much as some things in love are obvious to us, we would save ourselves several problems if we realized that many of the beliefs we have about relationships are simply prejudices and irrational beliefs
Some of these unfounded ideas are relatively harmless, but others lead us to trip over the same stone over and over again, without us even being aware that we have a predisposition to fall into these kinds of mistakes in our love life.
Below you will find some of those ways of thinking that They predispose us to get involved in toxic relationships and what makes them so harmful.
1. The belief of the better half
Romantic love, understood as a relationship in which two people join inseparably to form a single body, is one of the most harmful beliefs that exist. The reasons are that it favors emergence of interdependence and obsession with controlling the other on the one hand, and the lack of time to be alone with oneself, on the other.
In the long run, the level of discomfort and stress caused by this type of courtship and marriage makes the situation unsustainable.
2. Commitment is scary
Relationships can be exciting, but some people are very afraid of one of their facets: commitment. Thus, when they go out with someone, they try to lead a “normal life”, not leave their comfort zone and continue behaving unilaterally, although in a relationship. This, in practice, means that there are no commitments, or that there are very few and that each one lives his single life at all times except at certain times.
Thus, from this habit the couple is something that appears and disappears at convenience. It may seem like a free emotional option, but in reality it is a direct route to fears, insecurities and paranoia. A relationship, by the fact of being one, must be built on certain commitments; Of course, it is its members who decide what falls within the pact and what remains outside.
The fact that some relationships are made up of very different people means that, sometimes, one maintains a passive attitude and the other takes a more active role. Over time, this can transform into a dynamic in which one always decides about those small day-to-day choices.
Although at first it seems like a harmless trend, This habit usually leads to fatigue on the part of the decision maker, given that he is the one who most perceives that the relationship is not symmetrical. In fact, the situation can be interpreted as a symptom of lack of commitment and interest in spending time together.
4. When in doubt, apologize
There are those who enter the world of love with leaden feet, very afraid of making the loved one uncomfortable This means that, in ambiguous situations in which one senses dissatisfaction or anger, one simply accepts that oneself is to blame, which leads to asking for forgiveness. But, this is a mistake.
Ensuring symmetry is necessary to not live in a toxic relationship, and to do this you have to know how to create a constant flow of communication, so that both parties know what is happening, therefore, before asking for forgiveness, you have to make sure that they really exist. reasons for this, and that are understood.
