We tend to take for granted that we know how to listen. We consider that just by knowing how to speak we also know how to listen and that conversations are mere information-sharing transactions.
Hearing involves receiving sound stimuli, but this does not mean that we fully understand or realize what our interlocutor is telling us. Whether because we get distracted or because we think about other things, they may be telling us things and they just don’t come to our mind.
Active listening involves not only hearing what they tell us, but also understanding it, retaining it and following the thread of the conversation. This skill can be put into practice and, therefore, below we are going to see a few active listening exercises
Is it possible to train active listening through activities?
Do you think you know how to listen? Let’s see it. Below we ask you a few questions and we ask that you please answer them as honestly as possible. Think about when you are in a conversation with a friend or family member, a situation in which you have to listen to the other person:
If you have answered yes to more than three of these questions, then we highly recommend you continue reading.
We define active listening as the ability to listen to the message that our sender gives us, making a conscious and voluntary effort to pay attention, following the thread of the conversation and deeply understanding what he is telling us. It is not just about hearing the words he is telling us, retaining them in working memory, but understanding the entire message.
To put this skill into practice, it is necessary to put the person with whom we are having a conversation in the focus of our attention, avoiding any distractions as well as trying to formulate counterarguments while the other person is still speaking. It is not possible to understand everything it tells us if we distract ourselves thinking about how we are going to replicate it, because if we do so we begin to ignore part of the message it is trying to share with us.
In order to play the role of active listener, a lot of concentration and determination are necessary This is complicated, but not impossible, because although breaking old habits is difficult and consciously working to avoid distractions is a real challenge, being able to pay maximum attention to the person who is sharing their thoughts, emotions and opinions with us is perfectly achievable. as long as we put active listening into practice.
In general, we can say that the practice of active listening focuses on five aspects to take into consideration:
Active listening helps us to be better communicators. Besides, By listening better to what others tell us, we create a more positive environment, avoiding misunderstandings and reducing the possibility of uncomfortable situations occurring, such as, for example, having to repeat over and over again what they have already told us.
Nobody likes it when, after giving their speech, the person who was supposed to be listening to them understood absolutely nothing of what they said. Active listening is a sign of respect and appreciation.
Active listening exercises to communicate better
Below we will see five active listening exercises ideal to improve this skill:
1. Viewing a conversation
The first one we present is individual. It may seem strange that there is an active listening exercise that can be done without anyone else, but the truth is that It is the best way to practice before finding yourself in a real interpersonal situation in which we need to show good listening skills. This exercise is ideal for practicing active listening.
Imagine that you want to tell someone else how you spent yesterday (think about what you did and think about who you want to tell). Once you have decided on the topic and the person, move on. Now, imagine how you are telling it, what details you are paying more attention to because you would like to focus on it, what aspects you want to tell in depth.
Let’s say that she has been attentive to what you were telling her during all this time, looking at you and smiling at you, making gestures according to the information you told her as a surprise at unexpected details or sadness at unfortunate facts. She has left you all the time in the world so that you can explain to her in detail what you wanted to express to her.
Now we will imagine just the opposite situation The person acts very differently, cutting you off every time you say three words and constantly interrupting you. He gives you advice without you asking and even changes the subject and tells you her point of view.
How do you feel? What type of behavior would you prefer?
This is an exercise that, although alone and mentally, is very good for putting empathy into practice, what other people would feel if we did the same thing to them that happened to us with the second scenario.
2. The bus
The bus game is a classic activity used to break the ice in camp houses or emotional practice workshops The instruction is simple, ask the attendees to listen carefully to the story that you are going to tell them next and, at the end, you will ask them a question:
“Imagine you drive a bus. At first the bus is empty. When you arrive at the first stop, five people get on. At the next stop, three people get off the bus and two get on (Generally, upon hearing this phrase, the attendees begin to make mathematical calculations of how many passengers there are in the vehicle). Later, ten people get on and four get off. Finally, at the end of the line another five passengers get off.”
The question is: What is the size of the bus driver’s feet?
When asking this question, it is normal for listeners to get caught, saying that it is impossible to know the answer If this is the case, the statement must be repeated again, as many times as the facilitator sees necessary until the participants find the answer, which they will only arrive at if they listen carefully to the exercise.
The answer is actually pretty simple (and funny): “You’re the bus driver, so you know what your shoe size is.”
3. The blind man
Another group activity that we can put into practice is the blind man’s game. In this exercise The attendees are divided into two teams, with each team choosing from among its members a person who will act as a “blind person.”
The activity consists of making the blind person, who will be blindfolded, go from one side of the room or the field where the exercise is done, trying to avoid a series of obstacles such as tables, chairs, mats… In order to be able to To avoid them without getting hurt or crashing, you must pay attention to the instructions given to you by your companions.
The facilitator will time how long it takes each team to get their blind man to the finish line, although this is not really the main objective of the activity. The main objective is to get the person playing the role of the blind to practice active listening, paying close attention to what their classmates are telling them without being distracted.
4. Selective listening
Another very interesting exercise is selective listening. For this activity we are going to divide the team into two large groups, one A and the other B Group A will be subdivided into A1 and A2 and we are going to tell you a short story to which you should pay close attention because we are going to ask you for two different instructions.
The story can be whatever it is, and so can the slogans, as long as they are different. For example, we can ask group A1 to tell us the number of times we say the word “the”, while we can ask group A2 to tell us how many times we say “one”. An example story would be the following:
“A long time ago there was a girl in a village with dark hair and a red hood who was told by her mother to bring a basket of food. The girl took the basket and went happily through the forest, walking along the path that took her to her grandmother’s house. On the way she found a wolf that tried to eat her, but the girl was able to escape from it, arriving at her grandmother’s house and giving her her basket because she was very hungry.
While group A1 and A2 are waiting to see how many “la” and “una” appear in the story, there is the other group, B We have only asked this group one thing: that they listen to the story carefully, nothing more. We do not ask you to pay attention to anything specific, simply to be attentive while we tell the story.
Once we have finished telling the story, we ask questions related to what we have just told them. Among these questions we could say “what color was the girl’s hair?” or “what was in her basket?” Here we will see differences between groups A and B
Those in A, who will have been paying attention to the words that we have told them they will tell, are quite likely to have not noticed what the story was about while those in B, who we have only asked them to listen to, will find it easier to respond. to these questions.
Here we see the differences between doing selective listening, which would correspond to what those in group A have done, and having applied active listening, which would be the case of group B.
5. Tell me your story
This activity is done in pairs. Each of the members will tell the other a story in summary, placing great emphasis on important and significant details and events for those who tell them. Afterwards, each member of the couple will introduce their partner and try to tell the same story that he told them, trying to remember the details and highlights.
Once this first step is finished, having told all their stories, there will be a debate and a round of questions:
This activity It aims to train attention, focusing on what is said and the emotion that accompanies explaining other people’s stories It also allows us to train our empathy by trying to respectfully explain what others have confessed to us.
