Relationships often deteriorate, and it is normal when due care is not being taken, but it is not something unsolvable.
We have to be alert to the moments when we see that this is happening to be able to change it, to be able to do something with it and correct those problems. Here we try to list some of the things that should make us alert that we are facing a problem in our relationship.
Take the following test and find out how connected you are:
1. Lack of comfort or dissatisfaction
One or both of the members of the couple is faced with behaviors or situations that make them bother It doesn’t matter if these are big or small problems, but they will be serious if either they are not communicating to the other person, or if, if known, they are not being resolved. The same annoying fact or behavior repeatedly can be terrible.
2. Destructive criticism and lack of empathy
The distance between the two ends up generating a serious problem of empathy We are not close to each other, nor do we seek to understand or put ourselves in their place On the contrary, an unkind way of responding begins to appear, and the critics They are escalating to the point of being unpleasant and inappropriate for a couple, not seeking to improve something like the simple act of hurting.
3. Contempt
We value the person we have by our side less and less. Little by little that person has become One more of a lot in our life, he is not someone who contributes to us, who interests us in what he has to say or what he does. We have created on our vision of the other a negative image which may have real things, but which has often been maximized by the accumulation of other points.
The communication must be quality and not simply the fact that we are talking. Many times couples only talk about their daily lives, the children, or who does the shopping, but not about personal issues that may be of interest to each party. It is important to sit down and talk about any topic, without an objective, but rather going back to the origins of the relationship where that was the case.
5. Defensive attitude
You act as if you had to defend of something that was done. As if there is some kind of problem when in reality nothing has happened. You always hope that a small argument turns into a battle and it is like that, because from the beginning we act as if it were like that, when again the reality is that nothing happened.
Given these signs, or others that may make us think that we have a problem, it is time to not wait, to start an action as soon as possible. couple therapy and avoid the breakup that may otherwise be inevitable and painful.
Jaume Guinot
Licensed psychologist at the Official College of Psychology of Catalonia
