6 Good Tips (and Habits) To Boost Your Self-esteem
Self-esteem is one of the psychological constructs that has been most addressed since Abraham Maslow included it as a fundamental component in his Hierarchy of Human Needs (1943).
There have been very numerous authors who have confirmed the relationship between self-esteem and emotional well-being among whom it is worth highlighting Carl Rogers (psychologist who proposed the theory of personality from the humanist current), Albert Ellis (creator of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) or M. Rosenberg (author of one of the reference self-reports on self-esteem, the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale) among others.
Let’s see how much of the theoretical knowledge acquired in this area can be applied in a practical and simple way on a daily basis to make our self-esteem grow.
1. Make decisions without postponements
Concerns derived from problems and life events tend to be more frequent during the period between the occurrence of the specific situation and its resolution. Therefore, it is highly recommended avoid postponing coping with said event so as to avoid excessively feeding the repeated rumination processes.
A good tool can be found in the Problem Solving Model proposed by D’Zurilla and Goldfried (1971), which consists of a five-phase process where reflection is made on: the development of an adequate general orientation to the problem, the concretion of a definition and formulation of the problem, the proposal to generate alternatives, the decision making itself and a final stage of verification of the chosen solution.
2. Reduces cognitive dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is a concept proposed by the social psychologist L. Festinger (1959) to explain the state of tension that an individual experiences when his or her belief system conflicts with his or her real behavior, negatively influencing the modification of the subject’s attitudes. .
Given this fact, the person tries to generate a new set of cognitions consistent with their behavior in order to reduce the discomfort caused by the discrepancy initial through: an attitudinal change, the addition of consonant information between beliefs and behaviors or the trivialization of expressed attitudes or behaviors.
In short, this rigorous theory highlights the importance of coherence between thoughts (one’s own values) and actions applied in practice; The higher the level of discrepancy, the higher the level of personal psychological discomfort.
3. Identify and transform your limiting beliefs
Hemmi (2013) in his work develops the concepts limiting beliefs (CL) vs. powerful beliefs (PC), defining them as two types of cognitions that the person himself has about himself and that are determinants in the low and high level of self-esteem, respectively. Specifically, limiting beliefs refer to the set of negative ideas that an individual presents about themselves and that reflect a low degree of confidence in achieving vital objectives.
On the other hand, powerful beliefs are characterized by providing the person with a global positive and optimistic belief system about their own qualities, which is why they are facilitators in the undertaking of projects and initiatives that the subject proposes throughout his or her life. .
A good reflection exercise to carry out the transformation of limiting ideas into powerful ideas can be, as Hemmi explains, making a list of all the CL in the different areas of life (family of origin, generated family, friendships, professional environment and society) the questioning of its logic or veracity and the replacement by a new group of CP, also applied to the five areas indicated. Based on all this, the person must internalize them and give them greater emotional weight.
Evolutionarily, human beings have shown an important tendency to retain information linked to emotions in memory more clearly intense such as fear or anger, to the detriment of other more neutral data, not so useful in achieving their own survival.
Nowadays, although the context has changed, it seems a common practice in people who have low self-esteem, depressogenic functioning or characterized by multiple concerns, the presence of a cognitive-attentional bias that leads them to remember in a much more meaningful way. the pessimistic, unpleasant or negative aspects of everyday life.
A conclusion scientifically demonstrated in recent research carried out at the American University of Kentucky (2012) and in other publications in specific journals such as Emotion (2014), Personality and Individual Differences (2012) or Journal of Applied Sport Psychology (2014) confirm the link between the practice of daily gratitude and an increase in the level of self-esteem.
Thus, according to these findings, a strategy to apply on a daily basis may consist of starting a personal gratitude diary where the expressions of gratitude expressed towards oneself and/or directed towards others are noted.
5. Eliminate the “always”, “never”, “everything”, “nothing”
In the seventies, Aaron Beck proposed his own model where, among other foundations, the cognitive biases that occur in depressive disorders, the so-called cognitive distortions, were exposed. These are collected in a list of distorted ideas among which “dichotomous thinking” and “you should” stand out.
In the first case, the events that happen They are valued extremely, without nuances, such as: “My friend hasn’t called me, no one loves me.” In the second, the subject has rigid and excessively demanding rules about how what happens should happen, for example: “I got a grade in the exam and I should have gotten excellent, I’m useless.”
Usually, these types of thoughts are not objectively founded and do not adjust to reality, which is why it is recommended to question these types of beliefs and do emotional work. enhancing self-acceptance and reducing self-demand (which tends to reduce the quality of one’s own personal image).
Thus, the final objective lies in modifying and replacing this type of ideas with other more rational, logical and less catastrophic ones.
6. Do enjoyable activities regularly
At a biochemical level, the substances that are secreted in greater proportion when the individual carries out activities that are interesting, motivating and have a rewarding effect are adrenaline, endorphins (both hormones that modulate mood) and serotonin (neurotransmitter). involved in sexual processes, sleep and emotional response).
Therefore, it may be highly advisable to prepare a small list of pleasant activities of a different nature that can be practiced daily: individual activities (a bubble bath), in company (a dinner with friends), enrichment activities based on personal concerns (start a language course), self-care activities (wear a garment of your favorite color), etc.
In most cases, it is not about thinking about tasks that are complex to carry out, but about small actions that act as “a pleasant whim” and that therefore enhance one’s own well-being.
Bibliographic references:
Hemmi, M (2013) Do you dare to dream? Barcelona: Ed. Paidós.
Labrador, FJ, Cruzado, JA and Muñoz, M. (1998): Manual of behavior modification and therapy techniques. Madrid: Pirámide Editorial.
Quiceno, Japcy Margarita, & Vinaccia, Stefano. (2014). Quality of life in adolescents: analysis from personal strengths and negative emotions. Psychological Therapy, 32(3), 185-200.
Toepfer, S.M., Cichy, K., & Peters, P. (2012). Letters of gratitude: Further evidence for author benefits. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13(1), 187-201.
