All people throughout their lives have at some point tried to generate a change in their life. This change can be a personal change, such as quitting smoking, or a professional change, such as working toward a promotion.
However, it is a fact that changes provoke fear and that this fear of leaving our comfort zone can cause us to truncate our attempts at success. Avoiding these attempts is not easy but throughout this article they are shown several keys to combat self-sabotage.
There are a large number of reasons why people end up interfering, more or less unconsciously, in their path to success or the achievement of any goal or objective.
Usually, the reasons why this tends to happen are related to self-concept. That is, with the opinion that the person has about himself. This opinion originates and is shaped throughout life, so changing it is complicated, but not impossible.
This self-concept is configured from the first years of a person’s life. Therefore, it is essential that during childhood the child receives messages of support and security, since the opinion that he forms about his ability during this moment will accompany him practically for the rest of his life.
The importance of self-concept
It is common for those people who during their childhood and adolescence will develop a great self-perception of failure or mediocrity find more difficulties when it comes to achieving their goals or dreams. However, this perception of oneself can be transformed and reversed if the person is willing to do so.
Taking all of the above into account, the main requirement to end self-sabotage is that the person is aware of what beliefs they have about themselves, and what ideas about their identity they have repeated throughout their life. This way he can begin to modify them so that they do not interfere with his path to success.
There are hundreds of ways to sabotage oneself, from small, almost unconscious behaviors to significant behaviors with which the person knows in advance that he is frustrating his attempts to achieve something. Some of the most recognizable manifestations that a person is self-sabotaging are:
How to combat self-sabotage?
As mentioned above, the first step in combating self-sabotage is that the person recognizes that within them there are a series of harmful beliefs and that these are sabotaging their attempts to progress.
Likewise, it is necessary to be aware that, despite the fact that there are hundreds of circumstances that can condition our successes or failures, the person himself is responsible for his decisions and especially those decisions that end up becoming self-sabotage.
Once these beliefs are recognized and with the appropriate motivation to change them, The person can now begin to carry out a series of good habits that prevent you from relapsing into self-sabotage. Some of these habits consist of:
1. Be convinced that it is possible
As discussed throughout the article, beliefs about ourselves determine our perception of everything we do. In this way, if we believe in advance that we are not going to achieve something or we believe that we are not going to measure up, this will surely end up happening.
Therefore, the first step to avoid self-sabotage is to start changing our beliefs and, little by little, start believing that we can achieve it.
2. Work on motivation
Most of the time, people do not see their projects or aspirations come true because they do not have the necessary techniques or skills to work and develop their motivation. Therefore, many great intentions or great ideas do not come to light simply because motivation and commitment have been decreasing along the way.
Some tips to stay motivated, remember why we started a project and commit to it are:
3. Go little by little
No matter how motivated a person starts a project, if they start very intensely or try to achieve enormous objectives, you are very likely to get tired more easily or even experience feelings of frustration at not being able to reach them.
Taking into account that great things are not achieved in a short time, the best option to achieve a big goal is to break it down into small, more accessible objectives. Likewise, these small goals have the advantage of enhancing our effectiveness and changing our self-concept, causing the negative beliefs we have about ourselves to change for the better.
4. Be aware that it will not be an easy path
Knowing that both the path we have to travel and the changes in our lives that it may bring are not going to be easy prepares us to be able to face them more effectively.
Changes involve leaving our comfort zone and facing new, unknown situations, so if we are aware of this discomfort and psych ourselves up to remain firm despite it, we will find ourselves much closer to success.
One of the most effective techniques when facing big changes in our lives is to try to maintain stability both mentally, physically and emotionally If we manage to maintain balance in these three planes we will find ourselves much calmer and we will eliminate possible interferences that could alter the development of our projects.
It is true that this cannot be achieved overnight, but through effort and tenacity we can achieve it. If our mind is in order, if we provide energy to our body and if we maintain emotional stability, The achievement of our objectives will be much simpler and lighter.
6. Know external influences
Our social context, family environment and friends can exert a great influence on us, and this does not have to always be good. On many occasions our attempts to change or achieve an objective are not achieved because our environment limits them.
For example, a person who wants to quit smoking will find it much more difficult to quit if there are people who smoke in any of their environments, such as work or friends.
In this way, if we know what these limitations or obstacles we may encounter are, it will be much easier for us to overcome them. A good way to integrate them is make a list of possible obstacles that we can meet along the way.
