6 Keys To “have A Sense Of Humor” And Communicate More And Better
Fear of conversations is a factor that can limit the quality of life of many people There are people who tend to feel secluded and isolated in their own mental universe simply because of the fear of not knowing how to manage dialogues or of giving a bad image of themselves, of being blocked without knowing what to say or, simply, of appearing visibly nervous.
Of course, there are different degrees and intensities in which the fear of speaking can occur, but the truth is that staying anchored in a counterproductive shyness can limit our options and our freedom, making our lives unnecessarily complicated.
Recommended article: “10 tricks to be more sociable and fun”
How to have more talk? Learning to speak without fear
Solving these learned fears requires effort, time and, above all, practice, but Having some theoretical references can help make this process easier and more bearable Reading the keys presented below can be a good way to face this challenge during the first stages of improving that ability to “have a sense of humor.”
1. Culture yourself
This is a step that requires dedication for years and whose value, of course, goes far beyond its implications for our way of relating to people… in addition to being very stimulating and fun. Simply, we can make our world of references expand by learning about new topics and soaking ourselves in things we didn’t know before.
Remember that a good conversation is almost always enriched with cultural references that have to do with elements that are not present in the immediate environment in which the dialogue occurs. Why not start by loving what we like to expand our knowledge?
Thus, a conversation about our interests or areas of study and work can gain value and relevance if there are many topics that interest you and about which you know things. But, in addition, our self-esteem will improve if we believe that we are always going to have topics of conversation in practically any situation, which will make it more difficult for us to block ourselves because we don’t know what to say.
2. Get out of the comfort zone with self-instructions
If we start from a situation in which starting a conversation or participating in one that is already in progress usually makes us nervous, We must assume that improving our language will entail effort and moments of some initial discomfort This fact will mean that, if we do nothing to remedy it, we will adopt a passive attitude when we could be talking, avoiding starting dialogues with other people or responding with monosyllables and short phrases so as not to put our image in front of others at risk. To, in short, ensure that they do not get to know us too much.
If we want to break this dynamic, we need to “force ourselves” to participate in complex dialogues, giving up short-term objectives (not exposing ourselves to nerves and the risk of losing face) in favor of long-term objectives (having a more social life). rich and improve our way of relating to people). The simple fact of beginning to create situations of fluid communication in complicity with our interlocutors is, in itself, the basis of what being fluent consists of.
The self-instructions
Self-instructions are part of this solution Its application simply consists of setting personalized and very specific objectives and goals to be carried out sequentially at the beginning of the process of talking to someone. For self-instructions to be simple, we must keep them in mind when we want to start speaking, and we must also learn to relate what happens to us and what we experience with these instructions that we have memorized.
Giving up excuses
A first group of self-instructions should be aimed at detecting the excuses we use to avoid having to speak and, thus, neutralizing them. In this way, if we realize that we are clinging to an idea that allows us to continue without dialogue with someone and stay in our comfort zone (for example, “he seems tired, it is better not to bother him”), the fact of being warned against this form of rationalization of excuses will force us to continue with the planned plan.
Using self-instructions to break the ice
The second group of self-instructions can be applied to start the conversation, forcing ourselves to address the person we want to talk to and getting them involved in the dialogue However, it should be said that self-instructions should be put aside once the dialogue has already started, because following a script to talk to someone will make it seem artificial and not very spontaneous.
One of the easiest facets of participating in a conversation is letting the other person take the reins of the dialogue and the topic of the conversation. Thus, if we are beginning to take steps to abandon the fear of talking and there are still things that cost us a lot of effort to do, adopting the role of “the listener” is a very good option to later be able to progress from there.
This way you will get used to relaxing and simply following the thread of the conversation. This way, since you won’t experience the nervousness that sometimes comes with constantly doubting whether to say something or not, you will be able to pay attention to what is being said and have more opportunities to come up with creative ways to use the information you receive to return it in the form of appropriate, witty or, in general, meaningful responses for everyone else.
In fact, the ability to know how to listen and contribute interesting elements based on what the other person has said is a typical characteristic of a good conversationalist. Do you know the concept of active listening?
To learn to converse, we must learn to forget about the image we are giving and simply immerse ourselves in what the other person is saying, directing almost all of our attention towards their speech. This can be complicated if we start the dialogue being very nervous, but with practice it can be achieved
You may be interested in reading this article: “14 main social skills to be successful in life”
4. Lose your fear of creativity
If we change our philosophy of life so that the most creative and strident elements can have a place in it, our conversations can gain in naturalness and ability to entertain. To do this, it is good to start with our close friendships.
Rather than using jokes, which are often typical and not of our invention, what we can do is communicate, directly, those ideas or associations that have occurred to us and that we find funny. Regardless of whether they are or not, Normally the humor with which we communicate them will infect others through our smile. and the way we say it.
Seeing that others react positively to those small spontaneous verbal inventions will, in turn, gain greater confidence in ourselves, which will make it easier for us next time, reinforce our self-esteem and allow us to converse more fluid.
When it comes to losing the fear of speaking, a part of us may ask that, since we are going to have to interact with someone, we at least act as if that someone did not exist, adopting the role of stand-up comedians and overwhelming our audience with a torrent of phrases (memorized) without waiting too long feedback of those who listen to us. That is why we must keep in mind that in every dialogue there must be a space for naturalness and empathy.
If we are planning to participate in a dialogue and we realize that we are preparing long sentences or directly a paragraph of what could be our biography, The best thing we can do is change our strategy and bet on short-termism: simply, starting a conversation in a simple way and allowing the other person to participate immediately afterwards, to establish an empathic connection.
In this way, we will have already done the most difficult thing: start a dialogue. We’ll take care of turning this exchange of ideas into something meaningful later; Normally, this happens naturally if we have something to say and are not blinded by fear.
6. Pay attention to what is happening in the context
A part of conversations is always related to the context in which it is carried out. Therefore, when speaking It must be taken into account that there are certain conventions and expectations related to the space and the moment in which the dialogue is established. It is necessary to take this into account to be able to adapt to the situation, but beyond the very formal contexts such as those that have to do with the professional and work environment, it is not worth obsessing over the subject either, since that can kill our creativity and our ability to surprise.
But, in addition, paying attention to what is happening around us in real time will give us opportunities to keep the conversation flowing based on what we observe. Seeing the environment in which we speak more as an accumulation of possibilities to fuel the dialogue rather than as a limiting aspect of it will make it easier for us to lose our fear of conversations.
