As we enter the summer holidays, our mentality changes ; We have more time than ever to enjoy family life and decide how to fill those free hours with leisure activities that we could hardly carry out on a work day. However, this greater freedom applies to all family members, and if we have teenage children, this situation can bring with it some parenting challenges.
Although it may seem idyllic to leave aside day-to-day obligations and take advantage of time with your children, things usually go awry when you have teenagers at home In short, living with teenagers during the holidays is usually extremely complicated. Therefore… What can be done about it?
Keys to parenting teenagers in summer: setting healthy limits
As we well know, adolescence is the transition period between childhood and adulthood, full of intense changes on a physical, mental and social level. Although adolescents need references, spaces in which to feel safe and accompanied, at this stage they also look for their own spaces and freedom, in a desire to explore the world, reaffirm themselves and know themselves. Therefore, It is customary to identify adolescence as a period of crisis and family conflicts where friction and disagreements between parents and children are daily occurrences.
Of course, these disagreements occur throughout the year, however, thanks to routine, they go more unnoticed. What happens when summer comes? Classes end, extracurricular activities are over and as a result, the teenager spends much more time at home.
If you are interested in knowing some guidelines to enjoy summer vacations with a teenager, you have come to the right place. In today’s article, we will analyze 6 keys to parenting teenagers during summer vacation so that you can make the most of this time, instead of filling it with uncomfortable situations that lead you to want to “survive” the summer.
1. Put empathy into action
First, it is of utmost importance that parents truly understand where their child is in their life. They must understand that he is growing up, he is no longer interested or likes things that perhaps he did a few years ago, and above all, is beginning to seek its independence Therefore, to a certain extent, it is normal for him to spend more time in his room, for him to not like some plan you propose, or for him to prefer going out with his friends rather than with his family.
Be careful, we do not mean that he should be allowed to isolate himself completely, since this is not good for the adolescent. On the contrary, parents must find that balance between giving her independence, but also showing her that they are present to help her at any time, about anything. In short, it is vital that parents practice empathy, remember how they felt as a teenager, and be more permissive with certain behaviors. Putting yourself in the teenager’s shoes is the only way you will be able to understand their behaviors and, consequently, strengthen the bond with the young person.
The importance of active listening is enormous. When it comes to strengthening the bond with adolescents, it is crucial that we are willing to really listen to them. Sit down with your child, practice active listening and empathy, and be prepared to begin a respectful but sincere dialogue. Put aside day-to-day worries, put away your cell phone, and simply focus on what the teenager has to tell you. Employs both verbal and non-verbal communication so that he feels that he is being heard, cared for and understood.
3. Open communication
Linked to what was mentioned in the previous points, establishing an environment of communication where you both feel listened to and respected is of utmost importance. To do this, a climate of trust and respect must be fostered, and shouting, sermons, labels, comparisons, interruptions, impositions, etc. must be avoided. Along the same lines, as a parent, try to encourage daily moments for dialogue, not only to talk about everyday topics, but also to be interested in their tastes and share your concerns and feelings.
4. Set clear boundaries
Although a positive and understanding climate must be established, this is not synonymous with allowing everything the adolescent wants so that he does not get angry. Quite the opposite. Let’s not forget that parents are the leaders, and clear and firm limits must be established, situations must be assessed, certain decisions must be made, knowing how to say ‘no’ when it really corresponds and accompanying frustration. Don’t make the big mistake of thinking that by not setting limits your relationship will improve or you will have more confidence. Boundaries are absolutely necessary in any relationship, and of course, in that of parents and children as well.
This summer may be the first time your teen goes on vacation with friends, starts attending parties, experiences falling in love or heartbreak, and even considers trying an alcoholic beverage. These new situations undoubtedly pose a challenge for parents, so it is crucial to approach them positively and establish agreements in advance that both feel comfortable with. To achieve this step, it is essential to maintain an environment of trust with the adolescent, encouraging open and sincere communication, so that we can ensure that they do not hide information from us.
6. Don’t let your fears eat you
It is common for parents to feel a certain distrust of their adolescent children, largely due to their own fears. This summer, there will likely be situations with your teen in which you will need to evaluate whether he or she is ready to go on vacation with friends, whether it is appropriate to allow him or her to attend a party where alcohol will be present, or consider the appropriate time for his or her return to school. home. In these cases, it is important Don’t let your own fears cloud your perspective and make decisions with consistency and objectivity. Remember that teenagers need to feel that their parents trust them and their ability to make decisions.
