Knowing when it is time to go to couples therapy is not always easy ; Love relationships are always complex and offer many different interpretations of what is happening. And this is even more difficult when we do not see the situation from the outside, as someone who observes the behavior of a married couple, but rather it is oneself who must analyze his or her relationship with that other person. There are many emotions and feelings involved.
However, there are a series of criteria that help us know which situations indicate that we have significant problems in this aspect, and that as a result we should go to couples therapy.
During these sessions, patients learn to adopt a more neutral and objective perspective on what is happening in their relationship, so that even the ability to recognize love problems is improved. But… how can you “learn to see” these warning signs if you have never been to couples therapy, in part precisely because you do not know that there are reasons to go to a first consultation?
In this article we will see a summary of those keys to recognize dysfunctions in a couple’s love life which we should work on with the help of a psychology professional.
Jealousy never brings anything good, because they encourage a controlling attitude with respect to the other person’s life, which we begin to see as a personal resource, something to protect. Therefore, although being jealous has long been romanticized as if it were a positive trait, it must be taken seriously when it interferes with the happiness of one of the parties involved (or both).
2. There is a lack of communication
Sometimes, with the passage of time, the mix between the monotony of everyday life and boredom due to the lack of satisfying moments as a couple means that you barely talk to each other, or that communication is very brief and functional (just enough to live together). . This is a serious problem, because it causes the relationship to be experienced as a burden and on many occasions feelings of guilt also arise at the idea that the other is being “abandoned.”
Furthermore, the lack of communication makes it easier for misunderstandings to arise or distrust of others due to the lack of moments in which to speak honestly about what one feels.
3. Constant discussions arise about coexistence
No one said living together was easy, especially for young couples. Knowing how to assign tasks fairly and equitably is an ideal that many couples move away from for various reasons: lack of habit of dedicating oneself to household chores, differences in the time available, different perceptions about how much it costs to perform certain tasks, presence of resentment over past arguments, etc.
Relationships are almost always long-term projects, and that means making sacrifices and committing to the well-being and interests of the other.
But this It’s something some people come across out of the blue without expecting it at all, so they do not have time to agree on solutions that satisfy both parties because they have not even been able to stop and think about what they want and how that fits with the interests of their loved one.
5. There are insecurities and taboos in sexual life
Sexual identity is, on too many occasions, a source of insecurities and erosion of self-esteem. But it is because there is no way to express one’s own tastes and preferences as they feel. Couples therapy helps a lot to establish a context in which to talk honestly about this and reach acceptance and self-acceptance.
6. You are defensive in discussions
Argue from time to time, but beyond the number of times you argue, which is something difficult to objectively assess before undergoing therapy, there is a warning sign that can help you know if there is a problem in this regard: if Right at the beginning of the argument, you or your partner feel a sense of being defensive, of expecting an escalation of tension and reproaches.
7. If there is a crisis of trust due to infidelity
It must be taken into account that infidelities do not simply consist of harassing someone with whom we do not have a romantic relationship while being with someone in a loving relationship.
Infidelities are transgressions of the most basic sexual-affective commitments that shape the relationship, something that each couple establishes in their own way. In the vast majority of cases, infidelity causes the relationship to falter (at the very least). But be careful, it only makes sense to go to couples therapy if you have already stopped being unfaithful, and the problem is strictly based on what happened in the past.
