7 Questions To Know If You Are Okay With Your Partner

Relationships are not always easy, and in many cases the stages in which they do not have good times are suspiciously common. We must not forget that, as in any interpersonal relationship, each member of the couple has their own vision of the world, their tastes, their needs and even their insecurities.

To try to make this fit between the members of a couple optimal, dialogue is essential Communication is one of the basic pillars of a relationship, since dialogue is what allows maintaining the common life project initiated by two people who love each other. When living with others it is always necessary to negotiate, give in and reach agreements, and relationships are no exception.

Social skills, key in the relationship

Many times we think that true love fits together by magic, that when two people love each other things always happen in their favor because the force of love can do anything. This may be very good for the script of a Hollywood movie, but in real life, for a couple to work, both lovers have to do their part.

Over time, one learns that it is necessary to possess a series of interpersonal skills for love to triumph, such as communication skills, empathy, active listening, assertiveness, respect or patience… In relationships conflicts can arise at any time the key is knowing how to solve them.

Questions to know if you are okay with your partner

Believing that there will not be ups and downs in a relationship is an irrational belief, and the attitude with which one faces difficulties often determines its success or not. The important thing is to manage the situation so that it does not get out of hand, because as the conflicts progress, then it is more difficult to return to the starting point.

So the first step is to detect that things are not going well at all. If you have a partner and find yourself in a difficult situation, you may be wondering…how is it possible to know if a couple is going through a crisis? Below you can find a series of questions that will help you reflect on your situation

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1. Are there grudges?

Love is a magical and intense feeling for both the good and the bad. Being in love is one of the most incredible experiences that a human being can live, but the emotional pain we feel when things don’t go well in our love relationship is very deep and penetrating.

Conflicts with our lover hurt us more than confrontations with other people (for example, a friend) and provoke a much stronger and more passionate reaction in us.

Therefore, it is easy to feel offended when things do not go as you wish and discomfort can cause enormous resentment when problems are not solved. If there are resentments towards your partner, it is better to resolve them as soon as possible; Otherwise, the problem may become bigger and the tension may be so great that the relationship will end up breaking down.

2. Do you negotiate in conflicts?

Communication problems are one of the most common reasons for conflict between lovers The quality of communication determines the future of a relationship, and that is why it is necessary to listen to the other person and be assertive, especially in difficult moments. Conflicts can arise at any time, because we all have our needs and our own space within a relationship.

Knowing how to empathize with the other person, pay attention to their opinion and negotiate avoids many problematic situations and helps prevent the relationship from becoming toxic. If you notice that either of you imposes his opinion, does not listen to the other or negotiate the important aspects, perhaps it is time to solve it.

3. Do you agree on the important things?

It is not necessary that you always share the same points of view However, on important things (such as common goals and ambitions) you should agree in a general way.

Each member of the couple has an individual scale of values, but as the relationship strengthens, it is necessary to build a common scale of values. This is essential to have a life project together, which helps you navigate the same course and gives the relationship a sense of transcendence.

4. Does he support you in difficult times?

People are not perfect and neither are couples. But if the relationship goes through a bad time due to difficult life circumstances, for example, work or personal problems, it is always better to stay together than to throw each one aside.

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Do you feel that your partner is there for you and supports you during difficult times? How does he behave with you when you are alone? Reflect on these questions can make you see if your partner is committed to the relationship and with you.

5. Do intimate relationships work?

Intimate moments with your partner play a very important role in their unity and stability and influence the emotional health of their members. Hugging, kissing, displays of love, and sexual relations make the members of the relationship feel a unique connection. But with the passage of time it is possible that the intensity of sexual contact may decrease and sometimes become monotonous, and this can cause serious problems for the good functioning of the couple.

When passion begins to wane it is important look for mechanisms that allow passion to be revived again in the sexual field, otherwise, the harmony in intimate relationships and the expression of affection are affected. If this occurs, it is necessary to reverse the situation as soon as possible.

If you have been with your partner for a while and you notice that the frequency of intimate relationships is not the same as at the beginning of the relationship, it is normal, but if you perceive that there are sexual difficulties and that sex is no longer an intimate experience that connects you deeply, Maybe you are going through a bad time. Attending couples therapy can help reestablish that bond of union and can give you the opportunity to overcome this situation.

6. Are you thinking about cheating on your partner?

Without a doubt, one of the fundamental values ​​to build a stable loving relationship and a marriage is fidelity. In fact, one of the most frequent reasons why a couple goes to psychotherapy sessions is to overcome this act considered a betrayal and disloyalty

Monotony or communication problems are often at the root of infidelity, although the person who is unfaithful, to avoid feeling bad, may blame their partner for having reached this situation. Although it is true that the fault often lies with both of them, the person who has carried out the infidelity has made the decision to act that way.

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Surely you could have resorted to other options, for example, talking confidently with your partner about what you felt was not working in the relationship. Whatever the cause, if you also find yourself in this situation and if you are thinking about being unfaithful, there is something wrong in the relationship.

7. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?

Perhaps your relationship is going through a bad time and you have an immense desire to get away from this relationship, since it is affecting your daily life and you have stopped being the person you were. Maybe the gap that separates you and your partner is so big that you no longer feel like staying by their side.

However, it may happen that, despite the conflicts that have appeared in your relationship, deep down you know that your partner has a good heart and that those who unite you are worth fighting for, which is a lot. In this case you should know that Relationship problems can be solved with the help of a psychologist and to go to couples therapy it is not necessary to suffer from a mental disorder, since the therapeutic relationship in this specialty does not revolve around the individual, but rather the relationship.

Couples therapy: when to go?

Couples therapy is a beneficial alternative for the love relationship to regain stability, communication problems to be solved and both members of the couple to feel happy again.

In most cases it is possible to get out of the negative spiral into which the relationship has fallen and strengthen emotional ties or reactivate them. But…how does one know that the time has come to go to couples therapy? Some indicators to attend couples therapeutic sessions are:

Mensalus Institute: psychological assistance in relationship and sexuality problems

Mensalus Institute is a psychology center in Barcelona formed by a team of psychologists highly specialized in couples therapy. If you feel identified with the previous lines, this clinic can offer you solutions and help you with the difficulties your relationship is going through.

Couples therapy is a positive resource for growth both individually and as a couple. Mensalus can help you learn new ways of relating with your romantic partner and can provide you with tools to overcome difficulties in the relationship and coexistence, couple conflicts and sexual problems (lack of desire or excitement, problems reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation or sexual dysfunction). erectile, etc.).

This center offers in-person therapy and online therapy. If you want more information, just click here.