7 Signs That You Are An Overly Accommodating Person: Why Is It Negative?

A accommodating person She is known for doing whatever it takes to make others happy. Although being kind or trying to be good to others is considered a good thing, in reality when people end up pleasing those around them too much it can harm them, causing exhaustion, stress and even anxiety. But where does the need to behave like this come from?

What does it mean to be accommodating to others?

Be accommodating It involves putting the needs of others before your own. That is, people-pleasers tend to be overly involved in being helpful, pleasant, and kind to those around them.

However, the accommodating They may have problems both defending themselves and making themselves respected by others. This type of behavior can end up leading to self-sacrifice or self-neglect that affects the mental health of the person who suffers from it.

This trait of people is also known as ‘sociotropy’, and involves feeling too worried to cplease others and gaining their approval as a way to maintain relationships. Therefore, this behavior may be a symptom that reflects a mental health condition such as anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, or emotional dependence.

How do I know if I am a pleaser person?

There are a series of characteristics that accommodating They tend to share. Among the most common attitudes, we can highlight the following:

1. They have difficulty saying ‘no’: The people who are complacent They have some difficulty refusing to carry out favors or requests from others, even if doing so harms them.
2. Fear of being judged: The complacency It can also be the result of a fear of being judged by others. This fear can also be a sign of suffering from social phobia.
3. You suffer from low self-esteem: When someone is too much accommodating to others , this may be a sign that you are dealing with a low self-esteem issue. Because these people do not value themselves enough, they may try to please those around them to try to be ‘accepted’ by others.
4. You always assume guilt: People who have a tendency to be complacent They tend to assume guilt despite not having responsibility for different actions or situations.
5. Tendency to say ‘I’m sorry’: Many people who are complacent They often end up apologizing for mistakes that are their responsibility. Therefore, they tend to say ‘I’m sorry’ too often.
6. You adapt your personality : The accommodating They tend to change their behavior and attitude to match that of the person or group. This can lead to acting in ways that are out of character or engaging in actions that you don’t agree with just to fit in socially. In this way, pleasers tend to do everything they can to avoid conflict, even if this means becoming a completely different person.
7. Base your value on how others see you : The accommodating They require validation from others to feel good about themselves. In fact, they can go to extreme attitudes in order to earn the respect or praise of others.

Although be accommodating It has positive aspects, the reality is that when we are too positive we can feel stressed and exhausted because we have to try too hard to fit in with others and get their ‘approval’.

Why am I complacent with others?

It is important that you learn to detect if you are accommodating to others since this attitude can be a sign that you are facing a mental health problem such as the following:

• Low self-esteem : Sometimes people engage in nice behavior or accommodating because they fail to value their own desires and needs. Because of this lack of self-confidence, pleasers have a need for external validation and feel that doing too many things for others will lead to social approval and acceptance.
• Insecurities: People can try please others because they are worried about not being liked by those around them. Therefore, they will try everything possible to make them happy.
• Perfectionist personality: People who are too perfectionistic tend to have a tendency to try to control those things that are not under their responsibility. In these cases they may try to please others to maintain their social ‘status’.
• Childhood trauma: Painful, difficult, or traumatic experiences can end up causing people to please others out of fear of suffering the same consequences they suffered during childhood.
• Emotional dependence: When a person understands that others are “above them,” either because they deeply admire them or because they perceive themselves as very inferior in comparison, a need to be with them can occur. Wondering what you would be without that person can lead you to do whatever it takes to not lose them, and therefore, lead to extreme complacency.

How can pleasing others too much affect you?

Although pleasing others is not necessarily bad, when it is too much, people can end up suffering certain effects on their mental health. Some of the most common are the following:

• Anger and frustration: When people do things they don’t want to do, because they are trying too hard to please others, they can feel frustrated and short-tempered.
• Anxiety and stress: The effort of trying to keep others happy can end up exhausting people mentally and physically. This can end up leading to anxiety or stress problems.
• Lack of willpower: Dedicating too much energy to others can cause people to lose motivation to achieve their dreams or goals.
• Lack of authenticity: Being too accommodating to others can end up causing people to lose sight of what they really want for themselves. This can make people feel as if they are not living their lives authentically, which can lead to problems around meaning in life.
• Weaker relationships: If you are trying too hard to meet other people’s expectations, you may feel resentful. That is, people can end up taking your kindness and attention for granted, which can lead to a lot of frustration in your relationships with others.

How to stop pleasing people?

There are some tips you can follow to stop pleasing people and to learn how to balance your desire to make others happier without sacrificing your mental health:

1. Set limits: It is important for people to know and respect their own limits. That is, they learn to identify what they do not want from others and communicate it. To stop being so complacent, it is vital that you keep your limits in mind and respect them.
2. Start small: It can be difficult to make a sudden change. Therefore, it is better to take small steps and focus on the details. Changing behavior patterns can be difficult. In many cases, you should focus on changing small things instead of focusing on big challenges.
3. Set goals and priorities: Consider what your priorities are and respect them at all times. A good way to achieve this is by setting goals and trying to meet them within a certain period of time.
4. Try positive self-talk: On many occasions, the people tend to be complacent because they have a bad image of themselves. One of the reasons for doing so is the use of negative self-talk. This involves having constant negative thoughts. Putting this dialogue aside should be one of your priorities. To start doing this, try to focus your attention on reasoning those thoughts that you believe are harming you.
5. Help when and who you really want to help: Sometimes, the complacent people They don’t know how to apply a filter. In fact, they may end up helping those who really don’t deserve it. In these cases, it is important to know your reasons and recognize those people who really deserve your involvement.

Remember that it is impossible to please everyone. Therefore, be too complacent It will not guarantee you their respect or friendship. Thus, if you believe that you are being this way due to a problem within yourself, it would be a good idea to go to a professional psychologist. Keep in mind that you should be the top priority in your life.