When you attend therapy, it is clear that it is because you are in a complicated situation that you do not know how to handle alone and ask for help to achieve it. Therefore, it is assumed that the person is usually receptive to that change and wants to go through that transition towards greater well-being. But still There are things that come up during therapy that can be handled better. These details can speed up or slow down the therapeutic process.
Below I am going to put forward several ideas and tips that can help you in your therapy and in your relationship with your therapist.
1. Therapy is a team effort
You have the information and the therapist has the tools, do not expect the psychologist to do your part, nor try to do his. Many times there are things that are not told in therapy because the person directly dismisses them as irrelevant or unimportant and sometimes they are key to getting to the bottom of the problem. Therefore, try not to withhold information from your psychologist, everything you tell him about yourself can be useful so that he can help you and get a better idea of how to manage your symptoms. The psychologist is not a fortune teller, you have the keys even if you don’t know it.
In the same way, do not pretend to have complete control over the therapy, the psychologist knows how to help you, and therefore let yourself be guided in certain things or do not pretend to solve everything yourself, he or she knows that there are things that you cannot do alone and you will accompany you on the trip.
2. Therapy guides you, but no one can make your way for you
It links to the previous point, but it is important. The psychologist will not or should not make important decisions for you nor tell you what you should do, just guide you so that you yourself can draw the conclusions and answers to your questions.
3. Change can be scary, even if it is something desired
As much as it is difficult to understand this because we are having a hard time at some point, if we have been in a problem for a long time, we have also made a habit and a mental structure around it. As much as someone hates being sad and depressed all day, that can be their comfort zone for years, so even if they want it, breaking with that suddenly is going to produce vertigo. You have to understand these types of defense mechanisms, respect them and give them their time so that they can give in and the changes are made gradually and acceptable.
4. Not everything is going to be escalated and improved
It is very exciting to see that I am progressing and getting a little better every day. But unfortunately this is not usually the case. The most common thing is to move forward a little and go back a little. I take 3 steps and go back 2, go forward 5 and go down 3. It is part of the process of being well and It is necessary to count on it so that when it happens we do not fall apart and we can move forward.
Persistence and patience with ourselves is key to be able to continue in therapy, which is usually hard, and to be able to overcome what has led us to it.
6. Starting therapy does not mean that I am defective or have something wrong.
Just as a person cannot know everything and when they have a problem in the bathroom they call the plumber, there are certain things that simply because they are too close to us are not easy for us to deal with. Everybody has problems painful deaths of family members, events that may have affected them in life… Asking for help to be able to handle these types of things can save a lot of suffering and of course it is a sign of great strength because I am willing to change, learn and improve by facing many Sometimes to my own ghosts.
7. The things that have happened to me are important to me
We know that there are people who have suffered a lot in life, and who have had very difficult situations, and sometimes we do not feel like we have the right to complain simply because we have not lived through those difficult experiences. But the emotional wounds that each of us have have hurt each of us and have affected us in some way, and recognizing their importance It can help us open up in therapy and go deeper without judging what happens to us.
For example, sometimes in therapy people talk about how their parents have overprotected them, and that this has given them a great complex of worthlessness or of feeling like children when they are already adults, which makes it difficult for them to make decisions, or feel safe to handle things. the problems of everyday life; but at the same time they say that they cannot complain, because their parents have not beaten them or punished them harshly. It’s true, but their wounds are others that are affecting them, and everyone can and should handle their own.
I hope that these little keys help you in the therapy processes you may go to in the future. Consistency is a virtue, and when something hurts, all you have to do is fight until it stops hurting.
