Expressions of affection are one of the most important factors when it comes to achieving happiness. Research such as the Grant Study indicates that the presence or absence of relationships in which there is warmth and affection in our lives is what best predicts whether we will feel happy or not.
However, Expressing this affection can be a very complicated task for some people , and even more so if this affection is so intense that it can be called love. The mission of knowing how to say I love you is, sometimes, a task for which certain training is needed to develop special sensitivity.
Sometimes, the problem is not finding someone to love, but communicating this love, making it stop being theory and move into the realm of practicality in the eyes of the other person. It’s not just about knowing how to say I love you Rather, it is about this message reaching through what we do. Saying I love you without saying it directly is one of the healthiest habits to take care of a relationship, since it expresses the way in which this feeling is part of our natural way of acting, instead of being a simple phrase that is repeated.
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In love, practice always beats theory, and hearing the phrase “I love you” does not necessarily mean that we feel more loved. This is a good thing and a bad thing.
It’s a good thing, because This allows us to diversify our way of expressing our affection without sticking to a rigid script and predictable. But it is also a bad thing because that makes it not always easy to get this message across. The latter makes some people give up their efforts to show their affection, unknowingly making the relationship tend to cool down.
Developing this skill of saying I love you without words can be cumbersome at first, but Its positive effects are usually noticeable from the first moment so it is highly recommended to train in it.
Below you can read 7 ideas that can help you when doing it.
1. Learn to value what you put effort into
It is possible that some of the tasks or hobbies that your loved one does have gone unnoticed by you because they are discreet or routine. However, it is very possible that several of them are truly important to the other person, projects in which they see themselves reflected and that make them feel proud.
With this in mind, we can identify these tasks and be interested in the progress the other person is making on them , while its results are recognized. Although these tasks or hobbies do not interest us in themselves, they can be attractive to us because they are one of the aspects of the personality of the person we love.
2. Surprises are always good
One of the keys to knowing how to say I love you is in get ahead of the other person in what may interest them Surprising her with symbolic gifts, special walks or creative pieces that she may like or find funny shows that you think beyond the framework of the routine and that we are capable of moving just to make the other person smile.
In some way, these small changes in routine make it easier for the other person to understand that you think about their well-being beyond what can technically be called “the day-to-day life of a relationship.”
3. The need to know how to listen
Taking time to listen to the reflections, concerns or motivations of the other is to show that this person is interested in themselves. That is why the art of knowing how to remain silent and support with active listening is essential, because it indicates that it is not a great sacrifice for us to give up the spotlight in our lives to the other person for a while.
Letting the other person freely express their feelings and points of view and showing them that these moments have value for us is an excellent way to say “I love you” without words. However, it must be kept in mind that any excess is bad, and We must not let this support role become a complete lack of proactivity
4. Learning to leave space
Expressing that the other person is in charge of their own life is essential so that they know that we love them If we make it clear without half measures that she is the one who has the last word on issues that affect her in the first place, she will know that we do not seek her company simply to be able to direct her life, and that we love her as a human being with her own objectives and their own autonomy to decide.
Nothing says I love you like a hug and a sincere smile The same can be said of all those forms of expression of affection in which the two people come into direct contact. This, accompanied by a sustained gaze towards the eyes, causes more oxytocin, the love hormone, to be secreted.
Thus, one of the most effective ways to express love is precisely in the most spontaneous, that which does not require anything similar to an instruction manual: caresses, kisses, etc.
6. Introduce humor into the relationship
If the other person sees that we are trying to make them smile (even if it is being cute) You will know that your well-being is important to us If, furthermore, it is something that we do not usually do with other people, the message is reinforced. The complicity that is created in these moments not only serves to strengthen emotional ties; It also shows that you think about the well-being of others.
7. Looking for alone time
Intimacy is an essential factor in relationships, and not only in those of a couple Lovers, friends and family can enjoy reserving a time and space to chat or do any activity together, away from any distractions. To be skilled in the art of saying I love you, it is necessary to make it clear to the other person that they deserve to have our full attention on a regular basis.
That is why it is good to show that these moments of intimacy have value, that they are not a waste of time or boring.
