8 Aftermaths Of Having A Narcissistic Mother: How To Identify Them And Deal With It?
How can we identify a mother with narcissistic traits? What are the main consequences of having a mother with a narcissistic profile? Find out how to deal with it.
A narcissistic mother It can have many effects on the mental health of your sons and daughters. This is because the bond with our caregivers is very important, especially in the first years of life. But how can we heal the impact of a mother with narcissistic traits?
Although narcissistic personality disorder is a rare mental health condition, when you grow up with a parent with narcissistic traits it is usually more common than we might think. In fact, the mothers with narcissistic traits They tend to have a certain lack of empathy, an egocentric attitude, use verbal aggression towards their children and do not even perceive how these behaviors affect their closest circle. Taking this into account, mothers with narcissistic tendencies may show these signs:
They embarrass you in front of others
They are jealous of you
They compare you to those around you
They invalidate your opinions or make you feel guilty for thinking differently than them.
They don’t respect your limits
They have favoritism (and use them to manipulate)
They always focus on them (even though they were not the focus of the conversation)
If you feel that your mother behaved this way toward you, she likely has psychopathic traits. In these cases, it is important to heal all the consequences of narcissistic abuse what it may have done to you.
What are the consequences of having a mother with narcissistic traits?
There are some consequences behind narcissistic abuse or being in a relationship with someone with narcissistic traits. Although narcissistic mothers can wreak havoc on their children’s mental health, learning how your mother’s attitude affected you as a child can help you find some relief. Some of the most common effects are the following:
Believe that love is conditional: The belief that love is linked to some ‘requirements’ can end up causing people to suffer from low self-esteem or even create dependent relationships with others.
Not respecting your own limits: When a mother relates to her children through conditional love, they may end up believing that they must obey certain rules for others to love them even though these mean sacrificing their own needs.
Put value in others: The narcissistic mothers or those with a tendency to this type of attitude are usually overly concerned with appearance and achievements in the eyes of others. As a result, children who grow up with these influences may also end up placing their self-worth in the opinions of others.
Accept manipulation or verbal abuse in relationships: The narcissistic mothers They can be emotionally abusive towards their children or manipulate them to get what they want from them. When this happens, one of the consequences of this narcissistic abuse is precisely to end up ‘normalizing’ this type of behavior in relationships.
Constantly blaming yourself: A narcissistic mother or with narcissistic tendencies, they may end up blaming their children for events that were not their responsibility. This can end up making you believe in your adult life that everything is your fault even though you are not involved in certain situations.
Always try to please others: When you are under the influence of a narcissistic caregiver, you may have a tendency in your adult life to please the people around you. The reason for this behavior may be linked to the fact that when you were little you had to meet the needs of your child. mother with narcissistic traits
Avoidant behaviors in relationships: The abandonment, abuse or emotional absence that can come with have a narcissistic mother It can cause you to end up distrusting many of your relationships in your adult life. This can translate into trying to avoid certain close ties with others.
Need for constant validation: have a narcissistic caregiver It can lead as a result to having a constant need to seek some ongoing validation in your relationships. That is, you require a certain ‘justification’ for others to love you.
These are some of the effects you can experience if you mother had/has narcissistic attitudes with you. The first step to being able to heal is precisely to be able to identify these consequences of narcissistic abuse. Furthermore, we recommend that if these behaviors are affecting your mental health, you go to therapy with a professional psychologist.
How to treat a narcissistic mother?
In addition to healing our interior, it is important to stop this type of attitude if our mother presents behavior with narcissistic traits Some of the tips you can follow to stop this treatment are the following:
Point out the attitudes that harm you: If your mother is harming you with her behavior, it is important that you do not be passive about it and let her know. You should not tolerate them overstepping your limits or emotionally abusing you.
Do not blame yourself: Guilt is a very common attitude in people who have a close relationship with a narcissist. When you feel guilty, you must remember that their hurtful words and actions come from their problematic personality and not from your ‘mistakes’.
Work on your confidence: Trying to deal with a narcissistic mother can be very painful because it will be difficult for her to recognize your personal strengths and achievements. Therefore, it is crucial that you dedicate valuable time to your self-care and, above all, work on your self-esteem.
Talk about it with others: Nothing can replace the validation or treatment that a child receives from his or her mother or father. Still, understanding that their behavior is harmful to you can help you rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. This way, if you think that an attitude on your mother’s part is not fair, you can tell someone you trust to find some emotional support. Additionally, we recommend the help of a mental health professional.
A mother with narcissistic traits It can end up affecting certain aspects of your adult life. Despite this, with work and effort, people can develop strategies to alleviate this type of treatment received in childhood, as well as its consequences.
