9 Characteristics Of An Emotional Vampire: How To Deal With Them?
What is an emotional vampire and how can it affect us? What behaviors end up draining our energy in relationships? Discover how to confront these toxic attitudes.
The people who accompany you in your life can drain your energy or help you recover it. Obviously, when you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t allow you to be yourself or you don’t feel comfortable with them, it’s normal to become exhausted by being around them. In these cases, one can speak of what has been popularly said as a ‘emotional vampire ‘because having these types of ties can end up hurting your feelings and emotions.
When we refer to the emotional vampires We are pointing out those people who, intentionally or unintentionally, drain the emotional energy of others. That is, these people feel better when others listen to them or try to care for them, even though this may lead to exhaustion on the part of the other person. Therefore, learning to identify and respond to this toxic behavior can help you conserve both your energy and protect you from suffering emotional or physical distress.
Types of emotional vampires
People who have this type of behavior may do so for different reasons:
Narcissists: Narcissistic people seem incapable of talking about anything other than themselves. Even though the other person has problems or is going through something difficult, they are not able to put their issues aside to offer you the support you need.
Drama lovers: When a emotional vampire It’s dramatic, he will find any reason to constantly complain.
Victims: These energy vampires They always feel they are to blame. In this way, they will feel affected by reasons that do not concern them and that, therefore, should not create these reactions in them.
Drivers: If you are with a controlling person, he or she will make you feel that there is only one right answer, and this is the one he or she wants. These types of emotional vampires They will make you feel like you must get their approval for everything you are doing.
Talkers: People who are excessively talkative can also be emotional vampires The reason is that if they never give you your space, this can end up making you feel emotionally drained.
Although there are various types of emotional vampires the reality is that all of them have a series of characteristics that can help us identify this toxic behavior:
They are never guilty: Normally, the emotional vampires They are usually charismatic people. This way, they will always shirk their responsibilities and never consider themselves guilty of anything. Therefore, you will end up taking the blame that is actually yours due to this attitude.
They are always in a drama: A emotional vampire It is usually always surrounded by negativity. So much so that you end up constantly trying to solve their problems.
It is the center of attention: Still energy vampire He never likes others to surpass him, that is, he always wants to be the center of attention. This is especially in cases where emotional vampires have a narcissistic profile.
Your problems are more important: When you explain a problem to a emotional vampire he will always try to divert the conversation towards his own conflicts.
They act like a martyr: On many occasions, the emotional energy vampires They tend to place the responsibility for their problems on others. That is, they never take responsibility for their difficulties and instead become martyrs or victims.
They use your kindness against you: The most sensitive people are usually the main ‘targets’ of the emotional vampires The reason is that these people are more willing to offer their help constantly. In fact, these people often end up using this kind nature of others for their personal benefit.
They use guilt: Often, people who are energy vampires They usually rely on feelings of guilt to get everything they want. That is, they try to use the guilt that others may feel to their advantage.
They are codependent: Codependency is a type of relationship in which the two individuals depend on the reactions or decisions of the other. When you are in a relationship with a emotional vampire many times it is based on codependency.
They intimidate you: In essence, most people who are emotional vampires They are usually insecure. In this way, they also often use some ‘tactics’ or even direct criticism to keep others insecure.
If someone around you meets these characteristics, it is likely that you are facing toxic behavior that ends up emotionally draining you. It is important to note that all people at a bad time in our lives can have this attitude typical of a emotional vampire and that does not mean that we are bad to others, but that we simply need help or improve in an aspect.
What to do when faced with an emotional vampire?
The energy vampires They tend to demand a lot from the people around them. Thus, on many occasions, these people can end up suffering negative emotional consequences due to this type of relationship. Given this, we recommend that you take the following into account to stop it:
Set limits: Although this may be easier said than done, it is important that you try to set boundaries with those people who drain your energy. For example, don’t accept all of this person’s invitations to meet up or try to limit your interactions with them.
Adjust your expectations: Many people who have a relationship with a emotional vampire They usually try to help them because they believe that they will really be there when they need it. If you think someone is engaging in these types of behaviors, it is crucial that you try to think that they may not return these favors.
Take care of yourself emotionally: If you are emotionally unwell, try to avoid contact with these types of people. Instead of helping you, you will probably end up feeling worse around them.
Stop them completely: The moment you think that this person is negatively affecting your emotional state, it is essential that you cut corners. Although this may seem dramatic, you must remember that in the end you are protecting yourself.
You must remember that no one deserves this type of behavior. Therefore, if you consider that you are facing a emotional vampire, try to work hard to fix it or just cut it short. If these relationships have affected your mental health, we recommend that you go to a professional psychologist as soon as possible.
