9 Signs Of Fear Of Abandonment: Why Do I Have These Feelings?
Do you suffer from a feeling of abandonment in your relationships? Do you feel afraid of a stable relationship because of it? Discover the main signs of fear of abandonment and how to overcome it.
He fear of abandonment This is a complex fear that can be related to experiences in our development, including loss or trauma. Normally, this feeling of abandonment occurs due to certain challenges with past relationships as well as experiencing social situations that have been problematic.
Many people experience the fear of abandonment and in fact, it is one of the most common fears of all. In addition, people with fear of losing someone or emotional abandonment may end up seeing their relationships damaged because of it. The reason is that this feeling of abandonment in adults It can affect both people’s behaviors and thoughts, wreaking havoc on their relationships.
When suffering from this feeling of emotional abandonment people can end up making these types of fears become a reality. So, how to overcome the fear of losing someone?
Not all people experience the same way. abandonment ‘syndrome’ In fact, there are different ways in which adults suffer from this feeling of abandonment.
Fear of emotional abandonment: All people have emotional needs. When people feel that these needs are not met, they often feel unappreciated and disconnected from others. Those people with fear of abandonment , they may experience these types of feelings even though they have no logical reason to feel them. Furthermore, this may be linked to having felt emotional abandonment in the past, especially during childhood or adolescence. In this way, the feeling of abandonment is linked to the perpetual fear that this could happen again.
Fear of abandonment in children: That little ones suffer from fear of abandonment is absolutely normal. In fact, so-called separation anxiety usually occurs during some of the stages of development. As children begin to understand that loved ones are returning, they overcome these symptoms of fear. For most children, this happens around the age of three with the start of school or earlier if they go to daycare.
Abandonment anxiety in relationships: He fear of losing someone Within a romantic relationship it is closely related to trust problems. These types of fears within romantic relationships can be harmful, since distrust makes people feel less connected to their partner and often these feelings end up turning into jealousy.
Individuals who suffer from this fear of losing someone They usually experience the following:
Sensitivity to criticism: We can all be sensitive to criticism, but this fear in relationships can make people very reluctant to have others point out the attitudes that stem from these fears.
Lack of trust : He fear of abandonment It is usually linked to experiencing difficulty in being able to fully trust others.
Difficulty making friends: People who feel this feeling of abandonment In relationships they usually suffer from many difficulties in being able to take the first steps in a relationship. In fact, they are only able to do so when they are completely sure that the other person really wants to strengthen ties.
Take extreme measures: For avoid rejection or separation from the person with whom they have a bond, people with this fear in relationships will try everything to avoid having to suffer these types of feelings.
Pattern of toxic relationships : To the experience this feeling of abandonment it is normal for people to end up fighting for relationships in which there are often habits and behaviors that are toxic for both parties.
Getting attached to people too quickly: Building a bond doesn’t happen overnight. But, in the case of those who have this fear of losing someone many times they feel attached in very premature relationships.
Difficulty in commitment : One of the consequences of fear of abandonment is that people end up experiencing difficulties in engaging with others. The reason behind this type of attitude is precisely the fear that they will end up suffering a feeling of abandonment.
Search to please others : People with this fear in relationships They tend to be constantly trying to please others even though this may harm them.
Blaming yourself when things don’t work out: This feeling of abandonment It can make people feel that when relationships don’t go well it’s because they are to blame.
As we see, there are many signs that can help you identify if you are facing a case of fear of abandonment If you feel reflected in many of these attitudes and behaviors, it is important that you go to a psychology consultation to resolve it. Your relationships and self-esteem may suffer because of it.
Causes of fear of losing someone
There are a series of common reasons that usually cause people to end up suffering from this. fear in your relationships (whether love, friendship or family). Mainly, we can highlight the following causes:
Trauma from abandonment: People who have experienced trauma in relationships as children may suffer this feeling of abandonment as adults. This may happen because during childhood there has been experienced death or abandonment by a parent or caregiver, as well as the parents having a negligent parenting style, having suffered bullying in relationships with other classmates or due to a bad relationship with a romantic partner or a friendship in the past .
Avoidant personality disorder: It is a personality disorder that can involve experiencing fear of abandonment In fact, people with this disorder often feel socially inhibited or inadequate.
Borderline personality disorder : This disorder causes people to suffer from a intense fear of abandonment In addition, it also involves experiencing unstable relationships, impulsive behaviors, among other symptoms that can affect relationships.
Separation anxiety disorder : If a child does not overcome separation anxiety and this ends up interfering with your daily activities, it is very possible that you are facing separation anxiety disorder.
Consequences of fear of abandonment
If this relationship problem is not treated, it is very possible that the person will end up suffering from the following harmful effects on their mental health:
Difficult relationships with peers and romantic partners
There are some strategies that can help you overcome fear of abandonment Even so, it is vital that you consult with a professional because it is very possible that these attitudes are related to trauma or other psychological disorders. In addition to seeing a specialist, you can also focus on the following:
Be part of a ‘community’: There are many people with fear of abandonment who claim they never felt part of a ‘tribe’ when they were growing up. For this reason they have always felt different or disconnected from those around them. For this reason, a good idea is to focus on being in a group with the same interests. A good example would be to sign up for dance classes because they will allow you to be in a group to hold competitions or contests.
Work on personal confidence: As we have reflected, trust is closely linked to this feeling of abandonment For this reason, working on your passions and personal self-esteem will also help you develop self-confidence.
Reason with your negative self-talk: We all have an inner voice. Our thoughts can be positive or negative towards us. In case you have fear of abandonment It is very likely that this inner voice is negative, if so it is important that you try to rationalize and reason with these types of thoughts.
We can all experience fear in our relationships But the fear of abandonment can end up affecting us both psychologically and the people around us. Ending these types of feelings will make your relationships stronger and more meaningful.
