9 Tips To Improve The Lack Of Communication In A Couple
Do you think there is poor communication in your partner? Is there a lack of communication in your relationship? Discover the psychological keys to be able to express your feelings to your partner.
Do you find yourself in a spiral of argument with your partner that seems to have no way out? Do you feel like your partner is drifting apart due to constant arguments? Would you like to know how to improve your communication as a couple and achieve a good flow in your relationship? There are different ways to improve the forms of communication within your partner Discover how psychology can help you with this.
First of all, we invite you to take this test that will determine your level of couple communication :
Why is good communication between couples so important?
When there is one lack of communication in the couple or communication in the relationship is bad, this can lead to various problems that end up harming the affection and love within the bond. For this reason, expressing your feelings to your partner in a correct way and being able to improve communication are aspects that you should take into account when you are in a crisis.
In many cases the forms of communication Within a relationship they can pose problems regarding intimacy, conflicts and relational growth. Why is communication important in a relationship? Basically because understanding your partner’s inner world and knowing how to communicate yours makes your relationship evolve. On the other hand, when there is a lack of communication in the couple or the couple’s forms of communication are not adequate, this causes the two people to end up distancing themselves from each other.
Effects of lack of communication on the couple
When you don’t know what to talk to your partner about or there is communication problems , there are a series of havoc that will become visible within your relationship. Among the most significant, psychologists highlight the following.
Negative perspective of the couple: When the forms of communication in the relationship they are not appropriate, people end up feeling negativity towards the loved one. Therefore, lack of communication in marriage or in a relationship can end the bond.
Lack of privacy: The lack of affection in the couple It can be one of the main symptoms that talking to your partner is having negative effects. Furthermore, another of the parts that tend to be resented is precisely in sexual relations.
Feeling invisible or unknown: When a person believes that their loved one does not understand them since there is no good communication in the relationship , usually ends up thinking that this is invisible to him or her. Something that will make you feel undervalued.
Loneliness: Feeling alone in a relationship may indicate that you and your partner do not know how to communicate effectively. Loneliness within a relationship can end up breaking the bond between the two people.
These are some of the problems that can be seen within a relationship where the lack of communication in the couple is present. If you think this may be your case, it is important that you work on it immediately either with the following advice or through the help of a mental health professional.
How to improve communication in a couple?
There are some keys that we can follow to improve our communication in the couple In this way we will be able to rekindle our emotional bond and improve our relationship in many aspects.
Let go of the defensive attitude: Normally a couple talking He often makes the mistake of adopting a defensive attitude in the face of other people’s criticism. Instead, you should try to search and find some truth in what the other person says, even though it may seem meaningless or unfair to us. If instead of opting for a defensive attitude we relax and look for some truth in what our partner says, he or she will also relax, there will be no escalation of a dead-end discussion and he or she will look at us in a completely different light, opening space for dialogue. .
Show empathy: Putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes helps us see and understand their world as they live it, it is knowing through their eyes. This way, you can see that you really know what your partner is talking about and you can improve your forms of communication We can do two exercises to be empathetic with our partner: Briefly summarize what the other person has told us or wanted to say or recognize how they may feel, taking into account what they have told us.
Ask: If we ask we can certainly know what he meant and what our partner really feels, because it may not coincide with what I have intuited and it is advisable to contrast the truth. By asking we can investigate and have more information about what our partner thinks and feels. By asking, you will not only be able to find out why your partner is upset, but it will also give you a door to be able to express your feelings to your partner in a less aggressive way.
Do not accuse: If we accuse our partner of something, “You’re making me angry,” it is very likely that they will cut off the dialogue and become defensive without reaching any solution. If instead of this accusation we substitute the “you…” For “I feel upset, angry or upset” the situation will probably be very different and you can reach a mutual understanding and overcome the argument.
Give positive caresses: Finding something positive to say to the other person conveys love and respect even if there is an angry situation. Positive caresses are words, gestures or actions that make us feel good, loved, important and valid and are essential in the day-to-day life of a relationship and even if there is an argument or anger, it is no exception. “How beautiful you are”, “I love you”, a look, a physical caress… pleases any body. To the thank your partner You can pave the way and then say something that perhaps bothers you or seems bad about him/her.
Describe how you feel: To have a good communication in the couple we are going to emphasize that we take responsibility for our feelings and that is why we want to find a solution, the conflict is with the behavior that creates our feelings, not with the person themselves.
Specific and clear description of the situation: Remember that you should not blame, criticize, blame, despise. Do not use terms that can be interpreted, we already know that this does not bring good results, because we tend to interpret things that are not and in a negative way. Don’t beat around the bush, if it’s easier for you, write it down first. In order to solve lack of good communication in the couple It is essential to try to be as objective as possible when describing a situation.
Admit your responsibility: They are regarding the couple, we have responsibilities in situations, the couple is something of two, mutual, reciprocal and interactive, therefore, it is convenient to see what part we could also change to make things easier.
Generate alternatives, do not speak negatively and focus on a single problem: Many times, without meaning to, we tend to bring up topics that have no relation to what is being raised, or we go back to things from the past, without realizing that this does not solve anything but rather aggravates it and we run the risk of entering a spiral. negative.
If even following these tips you cannot solve lack of communication in the couple or you are not able to have good communication within the relationship, perhaps it is time to consider going to a couples therapist to discover how to solve these problems that may end up harming your bond.
What to avoid during communication as a couple?
In many cases we are not aware that we are acting badly in our lives. forms of communication within the relationship. Therefore, we can point out the following attitudes as negative.
Silent treatment: Walking away from your partner when you feel bad about them and trying to interact as little as possible is a bad strategy. This can cause more damage within the relationship. Therefore, if you want to solve your emotional bond, it is vital to try to communicate what you feel and express your feelings to your partner
Remove past mistakes: If you are talking about a specific problem with your partner, focus only on this one. During an argument you cannot try to cover all the problems, as this will not result in anything productive as your partner will become more defensive.
Shout : Raising your voice during an argument or resorting to yelling is an ineffective way to process your anger. When you start using these forms of communication you make your partner distance himself more from you and see you with more negative eyes.
Walk away : When in the middle of communication in the couple You leave, what you do is leave a conflict unresolved. Therefore, if you have started you cannot finish without ending up with a solution.
Sarcasm and humiliation: Sarcasm makes lack of communication in the couple It gets worse because you make the person next to you feel bad when they try to express their feelings.
Disrespectful nonverbal behavior: Body language in love also plays a very important role during communication in the couple For this reason, it is essential to take care of it and have an arrogant attitude during these moments.
The communication in the couple It is the secret to success in any relationship. For this reason, you should try to improve the forms of communication you use with your better half. Solving it will make you live love with much more intensity.
