Yeah The breakup process is already complicated in itself and carries with it a strong emotional burden, meeting an ex-partner again is no less.
This is reflected when it comes to relating to those who in the past were our lovers, or even husbands and wives. Sometimes, these ties are very damaged and it is very difficult to have a normal relationship with the other person, but in others what happens is that we make the problem bigger than it really is, and that harms communication and fuels unnecessary dramas. .
Not giving up the possibility of having at least one more conversation with that significant person when some time has passed since the breakup is important, because it helps us recover from the psychological pain generated by heartbreak. Let’s see, then, how to talk to your ex after a while regardless of whether you have a partner or not.
How to talk to your ex-partner without losing control of communication
Something very significant about the extent to which heartbreak can affect us is the fact that many people prefer to completely cut off contact with their former partners once the relationship ends and, when by chance a chance encounter occurs on the street a great discomfort invades them.
However, we don’t really have to be afraid of the possibility of talking to an ex-partner; We should not assume that these encounters must be traumatic. It is even possible that, after some time has passed since the breakup, in some cases a friendship appears. In the following lines, then, we will see several tips on how to talk to your ex. without entering into dynamics that favor conflict or avoidable emotional wounds
1. Find your main goal
Faced with a situation in which it is easy for so many emotions to surface, we may find ourselves lost, not really knowing what to do. Therefore, we must try to find the specific objective we are pursuing when talking to our ex-partner.
First, we must distinguish between chance encounters and relatively planned conversations.
In the first case we may have to decide on the fly, based on what we feel, what we want In many cases we will only be guided by a slight curiosity if there is no genuine interest in the stage of life that person is going through, and in this situation it is totally correct to subtly signal that we are not looking for a very long and deep conversation.
If the conversation has been planned, we will have more time to think what we want. A hint: if our goal has to do with letting off steam, it is advisable not to talk to the other person, because this can rekindle the discomfort from the time of the breakup. No matter what, the conversation should not be confrontational, although it does not have to be very close and friendly either.
For better and for worse, an ex-partner knows a lot about us, and we know a lot about them too. That’s why, It is out of place to express yourself with too rigid a formality or with an attitude of absolute ignorance towards what the other person explains to us.
3. Avoid attributing blame
Not obsessing about assigning blame is a sign that you have overcome the breakup. This does not mean, of course, that we do not think that it is possible to detect someone responsible for certain problems in the past, but it does mean that the need to remind the other person of the existence of these failures is not strong enough to make the conversation revolve around it
4. Keep in mind why the relationship ended
Don’t forget those revealing experiences that were once related to the outcome of the breakup. It is one thing not to make reproaches, and another is to pretend that we did not learn anything during that love relationship.
5. Don’t suggest plans without having prior signals
If you want to normalize the relationship and take it from non-existent to friendly, don’t start by proposing plans; Wait to see if the other person expresses themselves in a friendly and open way, instead of distant and suspicious.
If the first case occurs and that attitude has been maintained for several minutes in which more or less personal topics have been discussed, you can try to propose a plan but only if it has become clear that you do not want to have an intimate bond like the one you had in the past.
In any case, if your ex partner refuses, you should accept this as normal, since in this type of context it is relatively normal and it may be part of a decision that the other person has made a priori, before even talking to you, for example. simple precaution.
