The Over-gifted Child Syndrome: Why Is Over-gifting A Problem?
When Christmas arrives, there are many cases in which there is an excess of gifts for children. Is it really good to get them used to so many gifts? Find out the problem behind it.
How many times have we heard phrases like: “I give everything for my child”, “I may lack it but my son won’t”…? It is very good to want your children to have a happy and carefree life, but many times that translates into multiple gifts and whims, most of them unnecessary, which lead children to become materialistic, capricious, not very self-critical and not very empathetic. This is the problem behind the gifted child syndrome
The children who receive excessive gifts They do not learn the value and effort it takes to get the money to be able to have those goods. If from a young age they are given excessive gifts and this does not change over the years, when the child is a teenager they will demand increasingly more valuable things. He/she will assume that it is an acquired right and a parental duty to provide him/her with everything he/she wants: designer clothes, latest generation computers, the latest video game console on the market, the most cutting-edge mobile phone…
All of this without taking into account the efforts that this may entail for parents, which means that these children will be unempathetic people (they are not capable of putting themselves in the other’s shoes) and capricious. They probably won’t treat those objects carefully, and worst of all, those who suffer from gifted child syndrome They do not develop tolerance for frustration. Frustration is a feeling we have when we cannot achieve something. Life is full of moments in which we can feel frustrated, but if these children do not learn to endure that frustration, as adults they will be demanding people with others, capricious, not very empathetic and not very self-critical.
So that children can enjoy Christmas and all the values behind these dates, the key is not to give too much. Sometimes parents have the tendency to compensate for all the mistakes they believe they have made towards their children by giving many objects to the little ones. This can not only cause you to end up suffering gifted child syndrome but it can also end up being counterproductive for the child’s education.
The best gift a child can receive is time with their parents: Sometimes it is not necessary to have many hours (it is understood that work takes up a lot of free time), just half an hour a day of playing with them is enough. So there is no excuse, we all have half an hour. This is called quality time and children value it much more than a simple toy.
Don’t give them everything they want: The children write a letter to the kings full of toys. Just because they complete it doesn’t mean you have to buy everything. Think about the gifts that can make him or her the most excited (usually they are the first ones they write) and focus on giving them only those. Sometimes it is worth valuing the effort and value behind a single object more than having a lot of everything.
Limit gifts from family and friends: Talk to family and friends so that you can share those gifts that your child is most excited about. Don’t give them all away. Your wallet will thank you and so will your family by not having to think about which toy to give.
Think about the child’s needs: What can help you develop your skills in a fun way? Give the gift of learning and not just entertainment. Board games, puzzles or games that involve thinking help their intellectual abilities and can also be played as a family.
Make them appreciate the effort: Ask your child a few weeks before to do productive things so that the wise men can see how well he behaves (he cleans his room, makes the bed, helps set or remove the table…). In this way the child will learn that gifts do not fall from the sky but that they have been earned.
When children suffer of the gifted child syndrome They don’t know how to value the effort behind a gift. Therefore, it is important that during Christmas we try to teach the little ones that behind gifts there is much more than simple material: love, effort, courage, perseverance, among many others. The best thing you can give during Christmas is precisely the best education for your little one.
