When does a normal worry become excessive? Worries, doubts and restlessness are part of our daily lives.
It is normal to worry about a bill that we cannot pay, a job interview or a first date, but when this feeling persists over time and is difficult to control; When you continually ask yourself “what if…” and worst-case scenarios come to mind in ways that interfere with your daily life, you may be suffering from chronic worry.
Constant anxiety, negative thoughts, or always expecting the worst can have negative consequences for your physical and emotional well-being. You may feel fatigued, scared for no apparent reason, suffer from insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, cramps, or find it difficult to concentrate on studies or work. Many people fall into the dynamic of venting their negativity with those closest to them, self-medicating, abusing drugs and alcohol or escaping from reality in front of a screen.
If you feel excessively worried and nervous, there are ways to overcome these constant negative thoughts Chronic worry is a habit that your brain has acquired and retraining your mind to feel more relaxed, seeing life from a more balanced and less catastrophic perspective, is possible.
Why is it so hard for us to stop thinking about it?
Constant worry can keep you awake at night and nervous and tense during the day. Even though you hate feeling this way, you don’t know how to stop it. Our beliefs, both negative and positive, fuel anxiety and irrational thoughts.
Fortunately, From psychology we have a few rules that we can apply to reduce this level of concern
1. Set a time to worry
Give your mind permission to worry, but only for as long as you set When negative thoughts appear you should postpone them, not avoid them, but leave them for later. Establish a schedule, which should be the same for each day (for example, at coffee time from 3:00 p.m. to 3:20 p.m.), during this period you will be able to give free rein to your negative thoughts, but outside of this schedule they will be strictly prohibited.
Write down your concerns. When a negative thought hits you, write a short note and continue with your tasks. You will have time to think about it later, so there is no need to do so now.
Read your list of problems during the established period. If what you have written down continues to cause you discomfort, give yourself permission to think about it, but only during the time established for it. If, on the other hand, it seems to you that its intensity has disappeared, shorten the time of worry and enjoy the day.
2. Debate with yourself the veracity of your negative thoughts
If you suffer from chronic worry, your view of the world may be more threatening than it really is. For example, you can exaggerate the possibility that things will go wrong, imagine the worst-case scenarios, and take for granted the veracity of our ideas. You may also underestimate your abilities to deal with everyday problems and assume that you won’t know how to handle them. These types of thoughts are known as cognitive distortions, they include:
How to refute those thoughts
When you feel plagued by these thoughts, ask yourself the following questions:
3. Distinguish between what has a solution and what does not
Studies show that while you’re busy worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious Dwelling on the problem makes you mistakenly feel like you are doing something to solve it. But worrying and solving something are two very different things.
Solving problems involves evaluating the situation, specifying the steps to follow to address it and then implementing the action plan. No matter how much time you spend thinking about the worst that could happen, it doesn’t make you any more prepared to deal with it if it does happen.
Does your problem have a solution?
A solvable problem is one that allows you to take immediate action to solve it For example, if you are worried about your bills, you can call your creditors and renegotiate the due date with them.
Worries that lead to nothing are those that do not allow you any action nor are unsolvable. “What will happen if one day I get cancer? What do I do if my child has an accident?”
4. Interrupt the vicious cycle
When you suffer from chronic worry you feel like your thoughts are spinning in an eternal wheel, that you are out of control, that you are going to go crazy or that the weight of anxiety will end up crushing you. But you can follow these steps to interrupt this spiral of anxiety and give yourself a break:
5. Share your worries
It may seem like a very simple solution to you, but talk to a trusted friend or family member who will listen carefully, without judging or criticizing yourself, is the most effective way to calm your anxiety. When you see that you are about to spiral, verbalizing your worries will help make them seem less serious.
Keeping things inside will only magnify them and they will end up being overwhelming. If you share them with someone you trust, it will help you see them in perspective. And if your worries are justified, perhaps another person’s gaze will help you find the solution.
6. Practice mindfulness
Worrying usually means focusing on the future: what might happen and what you could do to avoid it Or in the past: reproaching yourself for what you have said or done wrongly. Mindfulness helps you focus on the present and therefore free yourself from worries.
Recognize and observe your concerns. Don’t try to ignore or fight them, simply contemplate them as if you were an outside observer, without reacting or judging.
Let them go. You will notice that when you do not pay attention to these thoughts that suddenly appear, they will end up disappearing like clouds in the sky pushed by the wind.
Keep your attention in the present. Focus your attention on how your body feels, your breathing, and the thoughts that come to your mind; If you get stuck in any of them, bring your attention back to the present.
Do it daily. Mastering this technique takes time, so don’t be discouraged if at first you find it difficult to control your negative thoughts. Just interrupting them and returning to the present will help you reinforce the routine and create the habit of breaking the spiral of worry.
7. Go to a professional
Psychological health professionals can help you better understand the causes and triggers of your worry. Besides, They will offer you tools adapted to your case so that you can work on these emotional blocks until you are once again the owner of your present and your future.
