My Ruminative Mind Is Driving Me Crazy: What Can I Do?
If you are reading this it is because your mind does not stop thinking and with it drags you into a permanent anxious state. Your mind can be your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. But remember first that your mind is not you. You are not your thoughts. You are the one who observes what is happening in that chaotic mind, which, by the way, is doing its job, which is to think.
The mind is wonderful because it is perfectly designed to solve problems. But if you don’t have problems, you create them. The good news is that with a series of instructions we can readjust the gears of this beautiful machinery so that it works optimally and we do not go crazy with these real or imaginary problems. So let’s see how.
It seems that our friend Descartes was not entirely correct with his famous “I think, therefore I am”. Currently we know that the human being is more of a “I feel, therefore I am”. That is, we go through life experiencing emotions, which are automatic and unconscious reactions to the things that happen to us with which our body speaks to us.
The events we respond to can be internal (thoughts) or external. And we must also keep in mind that we also think about what we feel, converting emotion into feeling. And this is where we have our opportunity to regain control of our internal world: how you interpret what you are feeling or what is happening to you, that is, your dialogue with yourself.
There is a classic example in the world of psychology regarding this: you are walking down the street, an acquaintance does not greet you and you feel surprised/annoyed/displeased, then you think: “what a fool” and you get angry and decide never to speak to him or her again. further. But we have an alternative scenario: you are walking down the street, an acquaintance does not greet you and you feel surprised/annoyed/displeased, then you think: “wow, it seems like he didn’t notice and was distracted” and you decide not to give it importance and continue with your life. Same fact, same emotion, but you choose what story you tell yourself about what is happening.
So, right, if you change, everything changes. Because you are constantly filtering reality through your thoughts. So, in this sense, what you believe, you believe. As you see, we all wear a type of glasses that distort the world (our mind), and since it is inevitable to wear those glasses, at least, that give us the best views in the world, we are going to see how these glasses graduate and remain in good state.
The two tools for change
I’m going to tell you 2 tools, the first is self-registration: when you interact with the world/people, write down these 4 ideas on your phone: the fact, what you thought, what you felt and what you did. The objective is for you to identify the patterns of your thinking and your emotions, and therefore, become the best expert on yourself. It’s a kind of self-therapy. The first step is always Socrates’ “know thyself.” It is the best resource to start with. You will begin to develop a natural detachment from your mind.
And the second tool: when your mind is in negative or catastrophic mode, it behaves like your internal saboteur and gives you the worst image of reality and of yourself. When you are in this mode, I suggest you use the filter that Socrates practiced with the information brought to him from other people. So when that critical thought comes, you subject him to the following question:
Well, if these thoughts do not pass this triple filter, they are not healthy thoughts, they are harming me, and above all, I am speaking badly of myself, so in an exercise of self-esteem and self-compassion, I choose to remove them from my mind in a kind way, with a “thanks, but no” I say to my mind. Breathe deeply and abdominally for a few minutes to get out of that confused mind and continue. You deserve to be happy. And you’re just a thought away from it.
