Stop Thinking About Everything: Solve Indecision And Insecurity
Thinking about everything incessantly. Intrusive thoughts about what has happened. How could I have done this better? What will be the consequences? What can be the best option? What decisions to make? Will I be doing it well enough? All these doubts and thoughts to, finally, remain in eternal indecision. Constantly thinking about everything can be a symptom of indecision and insecurity that is worth resolving.
Because Having doubts throughout our lives is natural, but getting trapped by them limits us and it generates more anxiety and anguish in us. In turn, this problem is increasingly common and is linked to anxious states, as well as insecurity and fear of uncertainty. Is it really a psychological problem? When it is too intense, frequent or long-lasting, yes, since it leads us towards discomfort and indecision.
In this article we are going to delve into why this happens to us and above all how we can solve it in a practical and stable way. To achieve this, it is necessary that this solution be through your own personal learning, in such a way that it helps you know yourself better and live and relate with more well-being and security. Let’s go for it!
As we saw, having doubts or insecurity at certain times in our lives is something totally normal and even practical and necessary. Insecurity is an emotion that reflects fear about your own abilities. This can be useful if you are in a new context, or one in which you do not know all the information. However, When that insecurity and indecision is constant it becomes a problem.
The causes of indecision and insecurity are primarily anxiety and our way of managing the emotions we feel (which makes them too intense or frequent).
At the same time, the social context we live in (with more and more uncertainty) generates this greater feeling in us.
My job as a psychologist and coach (you can find me in Human Empowerment) is to accompany people in their personal change processes, so that they achieve the change they need in a practical and stable way. 5 years ago, the number of people who suffered from anxious states was almost 50%. Today they are almost all of the people I accompany. Let’s see how we can solve it.
Factors that lead us to think about everything, indecision and insecurity
Although we usually think that it is the context that makes us think about everything (relationship problems, changes at work, breakups, etc.), what we feel is actually a result of how we understand and manage it. Let’s look in more detail at the personal, emotional and psychological factors that lead us to think and doubt everything.
Anxiety
Anxiety is an unpleasant emotional state based on alertness, like a fear that has become generalized. When we feel anxiety we doubt everything, we focus on what is happening and we fear every consequence. In turn, we breathe quickly and shallowly (hence the unpleasant sensation in the chest or pit of the stomach).
Anxiety can be focused (feeling anxious about a specific problem) or generalized (it is frequent, although not too intense). In the latter case it leads us to intrusive thoughts. Thinking about everything and constantly, in such a way that it leads you to question yourself and not decide, is always a symptom of anxiety.
At the same time, anxiety is exhausting and can lead us to discouragement. For this reason, it is essential that we first work with the intensity of anxiety. When we achieve this, we begin to think more practically and make more decisions.
Insecurity management
Insecurity is a fear related to your own abilities. We doubt that we can face a problem. Although this is sometimes practical, if it is too constant it leads us to block ourselves.
Managing insecurity, fear and doubts implies that you become constant in how you understand and manage what you feel so that it is functional. When we have not learned to do it, insecurity becomes too constant.
The big key to this factor is that what we feel is the result of our behaviors and interpretations. That is to say: how we manage it.
Character
Our character (especially if we tend more towards introversion, analytical, deeper and more detailed thinking) also can lead to intrusive thinking but only if it is accompanied by anxiety and a previous dysfunctional insecurity.
The solution is precisely to understand our character and know what we need. Routines, planning and limits help us generate greater security and thus avoid intrusive thinking more easily.
Solutions to indecision
Solve intrusive thoughts and insecurity thanks to your own change
When we have a prior difficulty managing our emotions, we reach an anxious state and our context does not make it easy for us (because it generates a lot of uncertainty), We can reach that state where we think about everything and do not make decisions.
Solving this problem depends above all on working on yourself, so that this solution is your own personal change and learning. This will help you not only live with more peace and decision, but also make this benefit stable in your life (because it has depended on knowing you).
These are the 5 keys to achieve it:
1. Respiratory mechanics
When there are intrusive thoughts or that tendency to think about everything, it is a result of anxiety. In turn, anxiety is linked to our way of breathing (fast and shallow). Anxious respiratory mechanics lead us to alertness, exhaustion and even feeling short of breath.
Working on a proper way of breathing is an essential step that is rarely discussed (in fact, anxiolytics relax the diaphragm, but they do not allow you to do your own learning).
People who begin to work with their breathing see the intensity of their anxiety decrease as the days go by. After this, dealing with intrusive thoughts becomes much easier.
Increasing your self-knowledge, about yourself, your character, limits and needs, opens doors for you while helping you organize yourself so as not to tend so much to doubts.
Our personality changes throughout life, but the basic tendencies of character do not. Knowing these trends and being able to adapt to them helps you live with more acceptance and confidence.
3. Decision making
Making decisions is a process related not only to analysis, but also to emotions such as fear and insecurity. When we learn to understand and manage those emotions, Decision making becomes easier and above all practical.
4. Have an action plan
For the change you need to become a reality we need to have a 100% action plan. An action plan is an agreement with you where we find the concrete and different actions that you need to apply to get out of the loop and live more calmly.
Making an action plan is complicated and for it to really work we need expert company. For this reason, we always use a session to work on it and begin to experience changes.
5. Constant company
Finally, to overcome these types of difficulties (which happen to us every day) it is important to have constant company. For this reason, my way of accompanying is not only with sessions (since it seems like a very temporary system to me) but on a daily basis, for any need you have (without consultation limit), as well as with weekly steps and sessions.
In this way, we can face what is happening at the moment and achieve changes soon. It also gives us the opportunity to delve deeper into all parts of your personality (belief system, self-esteem, communication, relationships) so that the learning you do about yourself is profound.
I send you lots of encouragement, and remember that in Human Empowerment you have the option to solve what happens to you.
