How To Boost Self-esteem Without Falling Into Self-sabotage?
The myth of always high self-esteem is that; just a myth. It is impossible to maintain our self-appreciation at the same levels in each and every moment of our existence. Throughout life there are situations that can trigger doubt about our own abilities, and this is normal.
For example, when starting a difficult project on whose positive results significant aspects of your life depend (a job, the approval of someone whose opinion matters to you, etc.). It is very possible that, faced with the prospect of making mistakes or not doing things well, we suffer a swing in our self-esteem; and this, if it is not maintained over time, is something inherent to self-esteem.
The problem comes when, in fact, this feeling of not “measuring up” is constant and habitual. If we feel this happening to us, we probably have problems with our self-esteem. Of course, in these cases it is necessary to go to therapy, but there are also some tips that you can put into practice to improve your coexistence with yourself. Taking this into account, let’s see some strategies to boost self-esteem without falling into self-sabotage.
Before presenting the tips that will be useful to improve your self-esteem, we are going to specify what we mean when we talk about self-esteem.
Self-esteem is the set of evaluations we make of ourselves, both physically and in relation to our way of being. Although it may seem like something strictly mental (thinking “that’s how I am”), self-esteem also has an emotional part, much more linked to our fears and insecurities and which, therefore, is more difficult to strengthen.
Poor self-esteem has a negative impact on our lives in many aspects. From the most personal (inability to have healthy relationships and friendships) to those in the workplace (feeling incapable of doing a job); The perception of ourselves is present in any activity we propose.
How to boost our self-esteem?
If self-esteem represents something crucial to leading a healthy and full life, the goal is to take care of it and improve it day after day. Here are some tips that may help you.
1. Exercise is a great ally
Exercise is often linked to a cult of the body, and this is not always the case. Regular sport not only serves to achieve the physical image that we like, but also It is proven to improve our mental health and, therefore, our self-esteem and general mood.
Intense exercise not only allows us to let go of unwanted thoughts, since it connects us with the present, but also, by becoming routine, it makes us feel much better about ourselves and trust in what we are capable of. On the other hand, exercise generates a series of hormones, the so-called “happiness hormones”, which will make you feel much better, in addition to helping you combat the much-feared stress.
2. Stay away from toxic people…
Good self-esteem is something that we build, but it doesn’t help at all to have people around you who are constantly criticizing you or doubting your worth. We are not talking about specific criticisms (sincerity is important in a good friendship) but about people who try to undermine the perception you have of yourself. Stay away from these types of people, you don’t need them.
As much as today’s society wants to impose individualism on us taken to the limit, the truth is that human beings are social beings. Therefore, it is useless to try to live alone. Of course, surround yourself with people who love you and value you.
Correct self-esteem is based on a balance between our self-perception and what others think. It is important to listen to others when they try to help you, and it is healthy to change your mind if we see fit. Closing ourselves in that we are the best and that we do everything well will only lead to an unhealthy narcissism. Yes indeed; As we have already mentioned, make sure you follow the advice of people who really want your good. On the other hand, good self-esteem also involves keeping in mind who deserves your time and attention and who does not. This will reinforce your limits and your decisions, which will inevitably have an impact on improving your self-esteem.
4. Avoid excessive perfectionism and self-criticism
People who have low self-esteem tend to be excessively perfectionist, as well as very self-critical. This leaves no room for flexibility or acceptance of error, and in this way it is impossible to cultivate adequate self-esteem.
One solution is to set realistic goals. So, instead of saying “I’m going to compose the best musical in history,” let’s say “I’m going to write the musical that I would like to write and I’m going to really enjoy the process.” The difference is clear; While, in the first case, it is almost impossible to achieve the goal (there will always be a “better” musical, because for tastes, colors), the second is easily achievable, since, if we like music, we will really enjoy doing this activity. .
Although sometimes we are not aware, abuse does not always come from outside. We can treat ourselves in an absolutely abominable way, probably in a way we would never allow anyone else to treat us.
So that, The first premise to improve your self-esteem is “stop mistreating yourself.”. Reinforce positive dialogue with your self, either to encourage yourself or to congratulate yourself for something you have achieved. If you need to stand in front of the mirror and talk to yourself, do it! No, you’re not weird. It is a highly positive exercise for your self-esteem.
Yes, talk to yourself well. To do this, avoid black/white, extremist, or catastrophic ideas, such as “I’m worthless,” or “I’m stupid.” Let’s try replacing them with phrases like “Well, this time I didn’t succeed, I’ll try again.”
6. Do activities that you like
Closely linked to the above is the issue of leisure. When we do something we like, Time flies and we feel a sensation of fullness that is difficult to describe. Therefore, we must promote these activities that make us feel so good. In addition, we will be able to demonstrate our skills to ourselves.
7. Write a diary
Many psychologists recommend filling the pages of a journal with our thoughts and emotions, and writing down what they are triggered by and how we feel. This will help us a lot to get to know ourselves and how our interior works. Knowing our internal mechanism makes it easier for us to review where we fail and go on to improve those points that need improvement, which will have a positive impact on our self-esteem.
