How many hours a day do you spend thinking about your problems? Your first minutes in bed when you wake up, while you brush your teeth, when you make breakfast, on the way to work…
It’s incredible, but many of us spend most of the day worrying, which is the same as thinking about our problems.
And yes… Believe it or not, you may be addicted to worry.
Worrying is not bad, living worried is the problem
According to the doctor in Psychology Ana María Rodríguez Fernández, Worrying helps you face a problem to solve it since the function of worries is to face, plan or solve a difficulty.
It’s a problem when it becomes an addiction; that is you can’t stop worrying causing anxiety disorders that can affect your efficiency when making decisions, work productivity and even personal relationships.
What is addiction?
It is a dysfunctional behavior that gives us a false feeling of “relief” in the moment. That momentary reward makes the person experiencing it repeat the behavior over and over again to generate that feeling of relief.
But there comes a point when it is difficult to stop these harmful behaviors, even when you know that it is harming you and that you should stop.
A common example is drug addiction. There’s always that first time when you discover how it makes you feel. Then you do it a couple of times casually. And in many cases, the frequency increases until you reach the point of feeling the need. At that point you are an addict. But drugs are not the only example. Just as you can be addicted to a substance (drug, cigarette, alcohol) you can also be addicted to food (sugars, junk food, etc.); and even your own thoughts.
Getting out of an addiction is a complex process. First of all, you’ve already built a habit, almost like brushing your teeth in the morning. But it also happens that when you try to stop it, you find yourself with a strong feeling that something is missing and the need is so strong that you fall again and again. Let’s not go that far. Have you tried to stop eating sweets for a while? Exactly, that’s the feeling.
The reality of those who are addicted to worry
All worries are bad, but addiction to worry is a guarantee that you will not have a day of peace in your life.
Is the most effective way to not enjoy your most important moments. The opening of your business, your wedding, the birth of your baby. Does it seem fair to you that instead of enjoying these wonderful stages you are only thinking about what can go wrong? Of course not. That’s not life!
And not only does it prevent you from enjoying yourself, when your thoughts get out of control it will also be very difficult for you to reflect realistically or take actions that move you forward. Thinking too much about your problems limits your emotional well-being. That’s why you should limit the time you spend worrying.
How do you know if you are addicted to worry?
Here I share with you some signs that can tell you if you are addicted to worry:
Recommendations to manage your addiction to worry
If at this point you consider that you are addicted to worried thoughts, here I share some techniques to manage it.
It’s time for you to take charge of your life and start enjoying it!
1. Set a time to worry
Ad Kerkhof, a clinical psychologist at the Vrije University of Amsterdam, in the Netherlands, who has been researching this phenomenon for more than 30 years, says the following:
“What most people do to stop worrying is to tell themselves, over and over again, that they have to stop. But that method does not work and produces the same effect as when we repeat to ourselves “don’t think about a pink elephant.” Our brain eliminates the word “no” from that message”.
Based on this, the psychologist suggests that you establish a time throughout the day to let your worries flow. Two periods of 15 minutes, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
During those 15 minute periods all you will do is worry. You can write down your worries so you can organize your thoughts.
This way you can disconnect from the problem for the rest of the day because you know that the next period of worry will come.
Considering this technique, whenever a worry invades your head you should repeat to yourself: “Not now. It’s not the time to worry
The idea is not to eradicate negative thoughts, it is to be able to control that impatience of having to resolve them at that precise moment. Because when you give yourself space, your thoughts are organized and you can be more effective when making decisions.
Little by little you will notice that you feel more in control of your emotions, that you can get out of those dark moments more easily and likewise that need to worry will decrease.
2. Avoid using your resting places to worry
According to Kerkhof, It is not good to associate your worries with your place of rest. On the contrary, you should handle them like a job. Therefore, I recommend that you designate a space that is “the office of your worries” and that you only visit it when you are going to think about them.
The moment you go to sleep is where your worries tend to appear most strongly, which prevents you from falling asleep.
According to Kerkhof, you can take a break from your worry diet and spend an extra 5 minutes thinking about what’s worrying you. But it is vital that after this break, you take about 10 minutes to think about memories or positive things.
Repeat it about 30 times just as you did with your worries; remember smells and sounds. This will allow you to sleep in a state of tranquility and joy.
4. Look for distractions
Your mind plays tricks on you, and no matter how much you put the previous techniques into practice, you will have moments outside your worry period in which these thoughts appear.
When that happens, look for distractions that allow you to distract your mind and take it away from that anxiety. Example: talk with a friend or colleague about other topics, listen to a song or podcast, read a good book, etc.
5. Be patient with yourself
Very few solutions are immediate, and learning to manage your addiction is not one of them. Kerkhof put this technique into practice with 200 people who worried all the time and the average of those who managed to reduce their worries was 50%.
If you want to end your addiction to worry, you have to give yourself time to teach yourself, eradicate the habit and plant the new.
To end…
If you feel that after trying these techniques you are not managing to get rid of the addiction, seek help.
Remember that there will always be a professional at your disposal to guide you in this process towards having a calmer life.
