The 9 Common Mistakes When Trying To Get Over A Breakup
Although it is true that they affect everyone differently, breakups can become one of those difficult experiences to endure in a person’s life. If we add to this that they are normally accompanied by a feeling of disorientation and lack of references when deciding how to face that experience, it is easy that in this situation we end up falling into behaviors that harm us or, at least, do not help us. to turn the page (even though we are trying by all means).
In summary, it is quite common to see in psychotherapy cases of people who have been making mistakes when trying to get over a breakup and, therefore, they have remained anchored in a state of constant emotional discomfort.
The main common mistakes when trying to get over a breakup
This is a brief summary of the most common mistakes that can be made when trying to get over a breakup; experiences that are totally counterproductive or that can even make the situation worse.
1. Isolate yourself socially
Social isolation is one of the first strategies that many people resort to after a painful breakup, usually to reflect, take time for themselves or because the pain is unbearable and They do not feel like dealing with social interactions, preferring to engage in introspection.
This tendency towards personal reflection only causes us to review our memories with that person over and over again and we are continually overwhelmed by images that we have in our memory with him or her.
Refusing to go out with other people prevents us from exposing ourselves to other stimuli or experiences that get us out of that self-destructive loop. As well as living new enriching experiences that make us forget the bad news of the breakup.
2. Try not to think about the breakup
some people have tendency to try by all means not to think about the relationship that has ended and avoid evoking memories about anything that may be related to the drama they have recently experienced.
As always happens when we try to get a specific thought out of our head, this technique usually has the opposite effect to the desired one and what ends up happening is that the thoughts continue in our head with greater strength and persistence.
These types of painful thoughts are usually happy memories or ideas we have about the person we just broke up with.
3. Prohibit our environment from talking about the subject
Often when people are suffering from a recent breakup, they may begin to prohibit those around them (friends, family, and people they know from work or their daily lives) from talking about what happened.
Forcing others not to talk about the topic or preventing them from talking about the breakup, It will only prevent our loved ones from being able to provide us with the support we so desperately need in these difficult times or to help us in a way adapted to our problems and in the way we need it. Otherwise, it will generate a rarefied atmosphere in those relationships, making both parties feel distanced from the other.
In addition to that, turning any painful topic into a taboo will only contribute to us having more pain, by not being able to express ourselves or get out all of our emotions that we harbor inside.
4. Check your social media pages
For some people it is impossible to forget their ex-partner after a breakup and because of this they decide to stay in contact with them at all costs and using any means possible.
One of the things that some people do in cases of breakup and that is a big mistake on many levels is to review the social media pages of their former partners, to follow all their movements and control at all times who they see or if they have met. started dating someone.
This can be very damaging to the person who does it and the only thing that is achieved by doing it is preventing us from being able to get over our ex-partner, by introducing us into a series of routines that do notThey lead you to think about that person through a perspective linked to romantic love.
5. Find another couple similar to the previous one
After a traumatic breakup, some people may begin unusual and unhealthy behaviors, such as starting to look for another potential partner who has similar characteristics to their ex-partner.
This can be done both consciously or unconsciously, in either case, it is done with the intention of look for someone who can fill the void that that person has left us or replace our former partner with someone similar to him or her.
If we see that we have a tendency to look for someone who is physically or psychologically similar to our partner, we can always go to a psychologist to help us work through all those traumas and pain that the breakup has caused us.
6. Find culprits
Finding culprits for what happened is a strategy put into practice by people who have not ended on good terms with their partner after a breakup.
After a painful breakup, for whatever reason, one of the two people may feel hurt, attacked or wronged and consider it necessary to express their disagreement with their ex-partner or make it clear that all the blame falls on that other person.
This is a very harmful strategy, since we will only be able to bring negativity to the new situation and the pain will last even more, the longer the argument lasts to see whose fault it was and who was responsible for the breakup.
7. Not asking for help (considering it a sign of weakness)
Asking friends or family for help after a breakup is always the best option since it is preferable to go through these types of situations with the support of those loved ones that we appreciate the most.
On the contrary, deciding to go through this difficult time alone and without support from our closest environment will only bring us pain, anguish and difficulties in overcoming the breakup.
8. Leave aside self-care
Some people may stop eating correctly, doing healthy activities that they did before or stop maintaining hygiene habits such as showering, shaving or brushing their teeth, something that can be carried out deliberately as a form of self-punishment. In other words, it is an attempt to redeem oneself from the feeling of guilt. But these types of strategies, normally applied semi-consciously, are totally counterproductive, among other things because they provide constant reminders about the crisis we are going through, whether in the form of general discomfort, itchy skin, shame at the idea of leaving home, etc.
9. Believing that love is not for us
The tendency to assuming that romantic relationships are not for you, or believing that we will never find love in life is common in those people who have suffered a lot after a breakup.
These types of thoughts are the product of suffering and the feeling of desolation, anguish and depression in which people find themselves immersed after going through these types of situations.
To prevent this from happening, we must try not to become discouraged and find habits, people or thoughts that make us feel more positive, motivated and hopeful about the future.
