Fierce Self-Compassion: How To Embrace Your Inner Strength To Overcome Challenges
No one doubts it: self-acceptance is important. Loving yourself, supporting yourself, and respecting what you are and feel is vital to having a full life. However, self-compassion doesn’t always just mean acceptance, it can also mean action.
Acting is necessary to open paths, and embracing your inner strength can be a powerful fuel that motivates you to achieve goals, give yourself respect from the nobility that inhabits you and find your place in the world. This is called fierce self-pity, and we will talk about it below.
In the following lines, we will explore the transformative power of fierce self-pity we will discover why it is so necessary in your life and how you can cultivate it to become the best version of yourself.
We owe the term “fierce self-compassion” to Dr. Kristin Neff, who is an associate professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas and who has researched the topic of self-compassion for many years.
Your book Fierce self-pity It is aimed especially at the female audience and with its ideas it seeks promote compassion and empowerment through those impulses that we usually hide, thinking that they are not well regarded for being women.
The author says it and we agree on this: being kinder to ourselves allows us to have much more emotional well-being, but what lies beyond? Although practicing kindness and self-acceptance allows us to accept ourselves as we are, with all our imperfections, sometimes a fiercer energy is necessary.
Let’s look at an example shared by the same author: Imagine that tender self-pity is like a parent comforting and hugging their child who is crying inconsolably. You see it? Okay. Now imagine a Mama Bear who fiercely defends her cubs when they are in danger, hunts fish to feed them, and guides them to a new home with better resources.
Let’s say, then, that the self-compassion we know, the tender one, consists of taking care of yourself, but going inward. While fierce self-pity It requires courage to protect yourself from the outside and draw strength to act. At the end of the day, neither is more important than the other; Both balance each other and create the perfect team so you can self-transform.
The author points out that, throughout history, women have been associated with tenderness. This is not negative. However, feminine strength ends up being nullified a bit. The theory of self-compassion is based on that “caring energy” more related to the feminine, which helps relieve suffering and that care can be given from tenderness as well as action to protect oneself from the environment.
Why develop your fierce self-pity?
Fierce self-pity brings out your bravery, your willpower, and your motivation. On the one hand, it allows you to face pain, injustice, and challenging situations without falling into resignation or victimhood. On the other hand, it encourages you to defend your needs, establish healthy limits and act for our well-being. And, furthermore, it inspires you to seek positive change, both in your life and in society.
In a world that can be challenging and even hostile, fierce self-compassion becomes indispensable armor to protect us while giving us the strength to act with compassion and courage.
Let’s see, then, why it is so important to embrace your inner strength and develop your fierce self-compassion:
Fierce self-compassion helps you identify situations that could harm you, whether physically or emotionally. It allows you to recognize warning signs and make decisions that keep you away from what could cause you harm.
2. It empowers you to say “no”
It gives us the strength and security to set clear boundaries and stand up for our needs without feeling guilt or shame. Saying “no” to what harms us is an act of self-love that allows us to take care of our well-being.
3. Invites you to take care of yourself and others
Fierce self-compassion isn’t just about taking care of yourself, it’s also about extending that compassion to others. It drives you to help others from a place of strength and authenticity, without falling into self-sacrifice.
4. Inspires you to fight for justice
Fierce self-compassion gives you the courage to stand up for what is right and fight for a more just and equitable world. It also allows you to recognize your own humanity and that of others, prompting you to create a more compassionate world for all.
Tips to embrace your inner strength
Dr. Kristin Neff proposes fierce self-compassion as a complement to tender self-compassion, inviting us to cultivate an inner strength that protects and empowers us.
Below, we share with you some original tips to put it into practice:
1. Embrace your power
Embark on a journey of self-discovery to identify your unique strengths, talents and abilities. Recall moments in which you have overcome challenges, remember your resilience and the strength that resides within you.
2. Cultivate compassionate self-talk
When you make a mistake or face an obstacle, instead of lapsing into self-criticism, speak to yourself with kindness and understanding. Remember that we all make mistakes and that kindness towards yourself is essential for your growth.
3. Set clear boundaries
Firmly define what is acceptable and what is not in your relationships and environment. Learn to say “no” without guilt to defend your physical, emotional and mental space. Remember that you deserve respect and that setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-love.
Seek the company of those who make you feel good about yourself, encourage you to be the best version of yourself, and provide you with unconditional support. Surround yourself with people who inspire you to grow and uplift you, creating a virtuous circle of positivity and strength.
5. Practice strengthening activities
Dedicate time to what you are passionate about and makes you feel strength and security. Do physical exercise, explore your hobbies, learn something new or dedicate yourself to an activity that fills you with energy and satisfaction. Remember that taking care of your physical and mental well-being is essential to cultivating and embracing your inner strength to overcome challenges.
6. Connect with your best version
Spend time visualizing who you want to be and what you want to achieve in life. Create a clear image of your ideal future and use this visualization as a source of motivation and strength to move forward. Remember that the power of visualization is immense and can propel you to achieve your most ambitious goals.
7. Extend your compassion to others
Providing support to others not only benefits them, but also connects you to your more compassionate side and reminds you that you are not alone in the world. Offering your help, listening carefully, and offering words of encouragement are actions that strengthen your compassionate spirit and make you feel part of something bigger.
Over time, you will see how this inner strength allows you to navigate challenges with greater confidence and compassion, both for yourself and others.
In Psychotools, Ferran García de Palau, is an accredited teacher of the self-compassion program created by Dr. Kristin Neff and clinical psychologist Dr. Chris Germer. He offers trainings to learn and integrate the practice of tender and fierce self-compassion.
