For many people, talking on the phone is a particularly complex interaction. Furthermore, many people currently show a preference for using other types of communication channels other than the telephone, such as instant messaging applications.
This preference for messages and avoidance of making calls does not necessarily mean that you suffer from an anxiety problem, although in some cases both things may be related. If this aversion to the phone is accompanied by other symptoms such as nausea, sweating, palpitations or other signs of anxiety, it may be a social phobia. So that, Let’s see how to overcome the fear of talking on the phone.
Characteristics of the fear of talking on the phone
Fear of talking on the phone, in its most severe form, is recognized as a branch of social anxiety disorder. People who suffer from social anxiety disorder have an extreme fear of different social situations where they may feel judged; these anxiety-triggering situations include making phone calls.
The fear of talking on the phone It is not something new derived from new communication behaviors, although these have often masked the problem and has affected different people in all countries at different times.
The specific fear of talking on the phone has a specific term in psychology: telephonophobia, and in this case it is part of the specific phobias.
Telephonophobia
A specific phobia is defined as an intense and persistent pathological fear that appears in specific situations. In the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), like the rest of the social phobias related to public speaking, it would be within the category of “non-generalized social phobia”.
However, the pathological fear of talking on the phone usually presents as a symptom of generalized social phobia. This disorder is a more serious disorder and manifests itself as extreme anxiety in different social situations, which can range from speaking in public, to avoiding using public bathrooms, to driving or shopping. Any situation where the person with social phobia feels that they can be evaluated in a certain way can be a trigger for anxiety and all its symptoms.
Other causes
In some situations, anxiety about talking on the phone can come from disorders other than an anxiety disorder, such as speech disorders ; A person who suffers from stuttering may not feel comfortable speaking on the phone and may avoid a call at all costs. On the other hand, there are times when this anxiety or phobia can come from irrational beliefs, such as the negative health consequences of exposure to electromagnetic waves.
Whatever its origin, the inability to talk on the phone is directly related to mental health, causing anxiety and avoidance behaviors.
In its less severe forms, it is common for many people to feel uncomfortable or suffer a little anxiety when faced with this type of social interaction.
What to do to overcome the fear of the phone?
The most effective way to combat the fear of calling, as in other types of situations, is exposure. Exposure therapy is a technique commonly used by psychotherapists to help people overcome their fears and anxieties, breaking the pattern of fear and avoidance caused by the object or situation. A safe environment is created for the patient in which to “expose” them to the things they fear and avoid. This exposure helps reduce fear and decrease avoidance.
In this case you should think of the phone call as the exhibition object, the more calls you make, the more confident you will feel to make another one.
The cognitive restructuring technique can also be used, which consists of the patient, with the help of the therapist, identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause anxious behavior. These are replaced by more appropriate thoughts with the aim of reducing or eliminating the emotional disturbance.
In this case, the objective is to strategically modify the way of thinking about the call, and all thoughts about feeling judged, or being intrusive, also downplaying the fear, of making a mistake or making a mistake, we would not be the last, nor the first .
The coping strategy can be progressive, we can start by having calls with people we know and are aware of our problem, or with strangers who we will never see again; Some people find it easier to talk to customer services and make formal, structured calls. The difficulty may also have to do with the duration, We can start with short calls of no more than three minutes and little by little increase the time. The key is to start small and work from lowest to highest level of anxiety.
Why do calls generate anxiety?
Telephone calls have a series of characteristics that make them elements likely to cause fear and anxiety in certain people. Knowing them is important to face this fear.
Phone calls are part of social interactions. The difference with other types of face-to-face communication is that telephone calls are non-verbal communications, and it is difficult to interpret what the other person is thinking. As we know, a large percentage of communication is non-verbal; according to Albert Mehrabian, the communication responsible for transmitting states and attitudes would occupy 65% of the communication between two people.
In telephone calls there is only the voice, how do we know if someone is playing a joke or criticizing us if we don’t have the smile that accompanies the speech? It is not only a matter of perception, since in the case of calls there may also be interference in the sound, it is also a matter of interpretation. On a call it is more difficult to understand what the other person is saying, but it is also more difficult to know what the person thinks about what we say.
If we think about it, Text messages also have all the shortcomings of non-verbal communication, but they don’t generate as much anxiety, it’s a time problem. Phone calls demand an instant response. For many people, talking on the phone is a particularly complex interaction, you have to think about things on the fly and you have to respond to what someone is saying to you at that very moment, unlike text messages where you have time to think. In the phone call every word counts, you can retract what was said, but not delete it. Silences can be misinterpreted by people who suffer from anxiety.
3. The calls are intrusive
Related to the problem of immediacy is the problem of intrusiveness. While with a message we assume that the person will answer us when he wants, with a call you feel like you are interrupting and you have to find the time to make it. People who are afraid of talking on the phone may feel like they are being bothersome before even making the call.
4. On the call we are the center of attention
On the one hand, we may feel the focus of attention more on ourselves or on the people around us than on the person we are talking to on the phone, in the case of making the call in front of other people. When we are on a phone call we cannot pay visual attention to the person we are talking to.
However, the most common thing is that the anxiety derived from talking on the phone is not the responsibility of the people around us, because in that case it would be enough to call from a private place. As with other types of social phobias, The problem is feeling judged by our interlocutor.
We don’t like being evaluated by other people. It is the same anxiety that we feel when speaking in public, having a conversation with a superior, or facing some other situation that requires an evaluation or that we think requires one, since in reality we are constantly evaluating situations and being evaluated. People who are afraid of talking on the phone feel that they may not be able to function well in that situation and fear that they will end up blocking themselves or stammering.
People with social anxiety tend to pay a lot of attention to themselves and their behaviors and They obsessively make sure they are not doing something they feel is shameful. This self-focused behavior has consequences on the conversation, making it more difficult. If I focus on myself and what is happening to me, instead of what you are asking me, it will obviously be more difficult for me to answer you.
5. We are not used to making calls
The easiest explanation for why we find it difficult to call is that we are not used to doing so. This is the simplest reason, but it is not bad. As we have already said, telephone conversations have been replaced by other types of communication, especially among the youngest. The data shows that The types of pathologies that involve the fear of talking on the phone have increased considerably from boomers to millennials.
Part of the problem with facing a call is simply inexperience. The codes for text messages and what emoticons mean are known, but the code for telephone conversation is unknown. This seems unimportant, but it would be putting yourself in the situation of an older person who uses Instagram for the first time, they don’t know how to do it, the same thing happens with the phone call. We have to know how to say hello, when it is our turn to speak, how to synthesize information or how to express a specific feeling with just our voice. As we see, it is something more complex than we think when we have it integrated, just like Instagram.
