How To Stop Feeling Guilty About Everything: 5 Useful Tips
Guilt, if it appears frequently enough and for a wide variety of reasons without us knowing how to manage it, can become one of the most harmful emotions we could feel; although on certain occasions it can also help us learn from our mistakes.
There are a series of tips that can help when looking for how to stop feeling guilty about everything, among which we can find the following: look for possible causes of guilt, assume our part of responsibility, talk about our own feelings with trusted people or a psychologist, or seek professional help.
In this article you will find tips on how to stop feeling guilty about everything but first we will talk about feelings of guilt (its possible causes, consequences, functions, etc.).
To understand how to stop feeling guilty about everything, it is important to understand a series of factors related to feelings of guilt. First of all, it must be said that many psychologists and philosophers have tried to understand what the function of guilt really is, having developed various hypotheses about it (for example, it is a useful component of human experience, it is a realistic component, it is It is actually a useless emotion, among other hypotheses).
Secondly, we must comment that guilt is an emotion that can be experienced as a result of various behaviors and/or thoughts, such as the following examples: having done something that we consider that we should not have done and then having the belief that that we are a bad person for having done something specific that we believe is wrong. In this example we can see that the first distortion, when we feel guilty, is due to the assumption that we have done something wrong; while the second distortion causes us feelings of guilt by labeling us as a bad person.
In these types of cases we should reflect on whether that action that we consider we should not have done was really a big deal and, once analyzed, ask ourselves if having done that really makes us bad people. To do this exercise correctly we will briefly explain some guidelines later.
On many occasions, feelings of guilt can add an unnecessary burden that could increase counterproductive thoughts and behaviors. An example of this would be what happens to some people who have problems with alcohol, who feel guilty when they drank excessively the previous day and, because they feel guilty, they may drink excessively again to try to ” forget” that guilt they feel. In these cases, they should seek help to learn to control this type of behavior and self-criticism for having relapsed again.
How to stop feeling guilty about everything
Feelings of guilt could cause us a lot of suffering if they persist over time and we are not able to control them, so that they influence us in various facets of life, such as at the family or work level, among others. Therefore, it is important to learn some mechanisms to stop feeling guilty constantly and for everything.
1. Look for possible causes of guilt
The first tip on how to stop feeling guilty is to reflect on the possible causes of our worries. This can help us analyze and understand whether the causes of our worries really have the importance that we give them and they also allow us to learn from our own mistakes and be prepared for possible future occasions in which situations similar to those that triggered our feelings of guilt occur.
Let’s imagine the following example: we feel guilty because we do not dedicate too much time to our children, because this morning we said something to someone that was not entirely correct and made them feel bad, and on top of that we believe that our boss would not care. has excited our project; These types of situations are several examples that can help us understand them as warning signs that tell us that we should stop to try to understand what we are feeling and what we can extract from these types of situations to learn and improve for the future.
Reflecting carefully about how we feel and how we can learn from each situation can lead us towards positive change that is oriented towards the path that best aligns with what we consider correct according to our own values.
When looking for the possible causes of our guilt It is important to avoid dichotomous “black and white” thoughts causing us to consider that in a certain situation we can only do everything perfectly or, if on the contrary we have not done it as expected, it is because we have done everything very badly.
2. Assume our part of responsibility and accept possible errors
The second piece of advice on how to stop feeling guilty about everything is that we assume our part of responsibility with respect to the situations that have triggered our feelings of guilt and for this we should analyze carefully. to what extent our words and/or our actions have influenced what triggered our feelings of guilt.
Many times it happens that guilt arises because of the idea we have that we should control everything that happens to us, when in reality it is impossible to do so since there are many things around us that are beyond our control and are also unpredictable.
In those cases in which we consider that the causes of our feelings of guilt have been our responsibility or at least in part, we must bear in mind, first of all, that we can no longer change what happened. However, yes we can do something in the present so if there is something we can do, no matter how small, let’s do it, serving as a lesson to try not to repeat something similar that makes us feel guilty again.
3. Talk about our own feelings
Another tip on how to stop feeling guilty about everything would be to stop repressing our negative or dysphoric feelings, including guilt and any that are associated, since repressing them will only make them increase and end up overwhelming us.
This does not mean that we tell it to the first person we meet on the street, but it could help us if we talk to trusted people about how we feel since in addition to serving as an outlet, they can show us their support and also They cannot give different perspectives on the reasons that triggered our guilt, and with this perhaps we can reflect on it in a more nuanced and fair way. Our trusted people could also give us some advice that will help us for the future.
Another strategy to take into account when trying to understand how to stop feeling guilty about everything would be to learn to forgive ourselves and, in case our discomfort has arisen as a result of inappropriate behavior on our part, it should help us take action. note and do not repeat it again. Likewise, forgiveness is essential to stop feeling guilty about everything.
It must be kept in mind that, just as We would try to give love and encourage a loved one who is going through a bad time Because you feel guilty for some reason, we should do the same with ourselves when we feel guilty, since otherwise we would only make the feelings of guilt grow and this would not solve any problem.
5. Seek professional help
Finally, one of the key tips is to seek professional help from a psychologist if the situation becomes very difficult. Psychotherapy is a highly recommended resource in those circumstances in which feelings of guilt overwhelm us and we cannot control the situation, nor do we find the solution to feel better, which can affect us at various levels (for example, work, relational, etc.).
A psychologist could help us understand in a different way what the reasons for our guilt are and, based on this, he could not help develop and train different strategies to be able to face these types of situations so that the feelings of guilt do not overwhelm us. , and the psychologist could help us see things in a more objective way and with a certain perspective, in order to learn to forgive ourselves and also to develop strategies for the future so that we are prepared for occasions similar to those that triggered our culpability.
