Tolerance Window And Emotional Regulation Strategies
All mental disorders or personality disorders have a common component: the appearance to a greater or lesser extent of emotional dysregulation. Whether as the origin, maintenance or consequence of said disorder.
Emotional dysregulation (or dysregulation) is an emotional response that does not fall within the conventionally accepted ranges for emotional responses. In other words: emotion takes over the person.
The maximum activation level that a person can withstand is determined by the margins of what is called the window of tolerance. If we stay within its limits we can face situations, learn and have a feeling of well-being and security. Crossing the window thresholds leads us to an “emotional kidnapping” where emotions take control of our actions.
In this article we are going to explain what the tolerance window is, what happens when we cross its limits, what factors influence the width of these margins and how we can expand this zone to become more resilient.
This concept was created by Dr. Dan Siegel with the aim of describing the “optimal arousal zone” of people. Within this zone, we are skilled at managing emotions even when we are stressed, sad or angry..
If we find ourselves within this zone, it does not matter the circumstances in which we find ourselves because we will be able to feel and think at the same time.
There are different factors that can act as triggers for emotional dysregulation, such as situations of prolonged stress, conflicts, breakups, rejections, loss of important people, layoffs and a long etcetera.
A trigger increases the likelihood that a person will become emotionally dysregulated, but it is not a direct cause, since our way of dealing with the situations that arise in life has not so much to do with the situation itself, but with the ability we have to face this situation in the best possible way.
There are people who have remained within the window of tolerance even confined in Nazi concentration camps (I recommend the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl).
What happens when we cross the thresholds of the tolerance window?
There are two ways to cross the threshold of the tolerance window: above or below. When a person experiences too much activation we speak of hyperactivation and when he does not experience enough it is called hypoactivation.
Hyperarousal
When crossing the threshold of the tolerance window at the top our nervous system is very excited. In this case it is extremely difficult to think and our actions are reactive or impulsive.
When a person remains in the hyperarousal zone they experience:
It is here where fight or flight mechanisms appear in the face of a threatening situation.
Hypoactivation
When crossing the threshold of the tolerance window at the bottom our nervous system is very little activated. It is for example when we are paralyzed by bad news, when we have memory lapses after a negative event, we panic and cannot move or act.
It usually appears as a defense mechanism in certain situations. The person experiences:
This phenomenon appears very clearly in depressive disorders, and is also very characteristic in traumatic situations. when the person is blocked and cannot react.
You may be interested: “Types of depression: its symptoms, causes and characteristics”
What factors influence the width of the margins of the Tolerance Window?
The narrower the margins of the tolerance window, the more likely we are to cross them.
It has been shown through numerous studies on trauma that all the negative experiences that we live throughout our lives and that we do not know how to manage They create scars that narrow the window of tolerance.
Some of the factors that influence the width of our tolerance zone are the following.
1. Unmanaged traumatic experiences
When we talk about traumatic experiences, they are not only extreme events such as a robbery, accident, rape, natural disaster or terrorist attack. A traumatic experience is the one that causes us suffering.
The accumulation of unmanaged traumatic experiences throughout our lives narrows the window of tolerance. I place special emphasis on the term “unmanaged”, since a person who has suffered multiple traumatic experiences, but has been able to cope with them, becomes a more resilient person.
Related article: “What is trauma and how does it influence our lives?”
2. Type of attachment in childhood
Currently there is a very powerful line of research on how the type of education and the bond we had with our parents or attachment figures in childhood It determines not only our way of facing the world, but also the base activation level of our nervous system, mainly the limbic system (the one that processes emotions).
3. Cognitive distortions or thinking errors
They are automatic thoughts that form our internal dialogue. They are errors because they interpret reality in a subjective way, taking into account only part of the information.
4. Limiting beliefs
They are firm, unconscious and automatic ideas that direct our lives.. They are deeper than thinking errors and originate in childhood (although some can develop throughout life after shocking events)
Both thinking errors and limiting beliefs are two ways of interpreting reality. When we interpret it in a negative, hostile, dangerous way and we value that we do not have the ability to confront it, our window of tolerance will be very narrow.
How can we expand the margins of the Tolerance Window?
The margins of the window of tolerance are flexible and we can expand them to become more resilient people.
1. Ground yourself or stay in the present
Through techniques such as Mindfulness we exercise attention and the ability to “return” to the present moment. when we realize that our thoughts have taken us to the future or the past and are causing us suffering.
You may be interested: “What is Mindfulness? The 7 answers to your questions”
2. Create internal and imaginary places of security
It is advisable think of some place (or create it mentally) that generates a feeling of well-being and security. Every time you feel that you cross the threshold of the window of tolerance you can return to that safe place to calm down.
3. Relaxation or breathing
Any relaxation or breathing technique will help you increase your tolerance level.
As a very powerful relaxation technique I propose Jacobson’s progressive relaxation which is based on the tension and distension of different muscle groups.
As a breathing technique I recommend square breathingsince it is very easy to remember and apply in highly emotional moments:
Inhale 4 seconds.
Hold the air for 4 seconds.
Exhale for 4 seconds.
Hold the air for 4 seconds.
And start again. Perform at least 3 repetitions.
4. Do psychological therapy
Doing therapy is a fundamental strategy because it is not only important to learn tools that can help you regulate your emotions and face stressful situations in a more adaptive way, but also to know why you experience those emotions, what is underneath, and change from the root.
Thus, therapy helps you both in self-knowledge and in learning the appropriate tools.
