Autogaslighting: What It Is And How It Affects Mental Health
Psychological abuse is not seen, but it leaves a very deep emotional mark. The dynamics of psychological abuse can be so intense that they change the victim’s psychology, believing the hurtful comments made to them, such as, for example, that they are worthless or that they are exaggerated.
There are malicious people who are capable of making one question their emotions, memories and reality. They are people who apply gaslighting, manipulating the minds of their victims in such a way that even their memory changes.
It’s worse than gaslight autogaslighting, which is when that malicious voice is now your own. Your inner voice discredits you, downplaying the suffering you have suffered. Those who have psychologically abused you have put it there, convincing you to doubt your own reality. We discover them below.
In recent years, a relatively new term has become popular: gaslighting. This refers to a type of psychological abuse, in which a person is manipulated with the aim of making them doubt their own perception, judgment or memory. Some typical phrases that a “gaslighter” uses to make his victim doubt himself are: “you’re too sensitive”, “that never happened”, “you’re exaggerated”…
Although gaslighting is usually done by an abusive partner, friend or family member, sometimes we are the ones who carry out this type of psychological abuse on ourselves. Happens that we internalize those toxic statements, which call into question what we have experienced and how we are, and we direct them at ourselves. This is called autogaslighting.
How does it manifest itself psychologically?
As we were saying, self-gaslighting occurs when one internalizes typical expressions of abuse from the manipulator. As you have heard so many times, you come to believe them and make them part of your own thinking.. We assume the harmful and critical stance of our psychological abuser and gaslight ourselves.
In these cases, people who suffer from self-gaslighting often tell themselves statements such as the following:
As we can see, it’s about adopting the abuser’s narrative and applying it to yourself. This causes us to minimize our emotions and self-perception of personal situations, with the purpose of convincing ourselves that a past experience may not have been as traumatic or serious as we remember. If it becomes a habit, this dynamic of self-gaslighting will make the person completely distrust their own thoughts. And the worst thing is that one is not aware that he is committing it.
This phenomenon It is usually common in those who have grown up in a very abusive and unempathetic family or environment.. By not having a parent or adult who recognizes and validates the child’s own thoughts and emotional states, the person begins to believe from early childhood that the problem is not outside, but is themselves. The reality is that she is being a victim of psychological abuse and, it can also happen, physical abuse.
The invisible nature of autogaslighting
Although it is a concept that has recently received a name, the truth is that gaslighting and, by extension, autogaslighting, are phenomena that have always occurred. Both forms of psychological abuse are very common, but since they are also a very invisible nature, difficult to identify if one does not delve into the traumas and way of thinking of the victim, they go very unnoticed. It is very easy to question the emotional wounds of others, even though it has a great cost for the victims and this questioning itself is, in one way or another, a form of psychological abuse.
When the victim internalizes the manipulator’s position, they begin to question everything bad that happens to them and reach the point of doubting themselves. Even You may wonder if you are really worthy of care and good things., believes that the bad things that happen to him may be deserved or that he is simply exaggerating things. She believes that the problem is within herself, that it is her fault.
Consequences of this phenomenon
Seeing what autogaslighting is, it is not difficult to assume that it can have disastrous consequences for the self-esteem and mental health of those who suffer from it. Both people who suffer from gaslighting and those who do it to themselves often suffer from anxiety disorders, depression, personality disorders and, at a minimum, self-esteem problems.
One of the people who has best explained what autogaslighting is has been the transpersonal psychologist Ingrid Clayton, who has not only given it visibility in recent months but has also shared her testimony. Clayton confesses that she herself suffered from this problem, a consequence of a harsh childhood where she was abused by her stepfather and her mother refused her help. Even the social worker who intervened with her as a child told her that her emotional abuse was not reportable, devaluing her pain.
This phenomenon is so harsh that its symptoms are experienced as impostors, making the person believe that they are not related to anything “real”, anything tangible, and therefore assuming that they should not feel them at all. This phenomenon It feeds heavily on the idea that abuse and mistreatment can only be physical, not emotional or psychological, and that if there are no wounds, one has not been mistreated.. But there are wounds, they won’t be seen, but there are. They are psychological, deep, and if not treated they will remain open for life.
Clayton comments that psychological abuse suffered by others and continued by oneself can create a split within the victim’s mind. It is as if two people coexist within the same mind: on the one hand, there is the one who is certain of what happened and who feels a flow of emotions; But on the other hand there is one that questions the facts, minimizes emotions and holds the victim responsible for everything.
Related article: “The 6 main self-esteem problems common in childhood”
It can be overcome?
Psychological abuse requires a lot of therapy to overcome, especially if one has already internalized the comments of their abusers as is what happens with autogaslighting. It requires a lot of effort and time to get the victim to stop being their own victimizer, to change their thinking and to stop them from doubting the seriousness of the damage they have received.
People are not capable of changing our past. Those of us who have received mistreatment cannot make them disappear from our life history. Fortunately, we can modify the way we respond to their memory. Clayton believes that the ideal is to stop recognizing oneself as the problem, not accept responsibility for the harm that has been done to us, and not doubt one’s value or instinct just because there were people in our lives who never validated us. The damage we received was their fault, not ours. The victim is never to blame.
