How Can I Stop Thinking About My Ex-partner? 5 Tips To Achieve It

The breakup of a relationship is usually a painful experience that, in many ways, can be described as a grieving process. That is to say, the end of the relationship can be, regardless of distance, something similar to the death of a loved one, for example.

Faced with this discomfort and emotional pain caused by the breakup, there are many people who become obsessed with an idea to feel better: “how to stop thinking about my ex?” In this article we will address this issue based on the findings made from Psychology, many of which are put into practice in psychotherapy.

How to stop thinking about your ex: 5 practical tips

In the same way that each relationship is unique, the emotional consequences of the breakup are also unique.and vary depending on the person.

Here, variables come into play, both from each person’s personality and from the type of love bond and coexistence model that they managed to maintain with their ex, as well as their life context (where and how they work, with what people they interact on a daily basis, etc.). .

That is why the best way to address these problems is to go to psychotherapy, because it can offer you tailored emotion management tools after studying your case.

However, if at the moment you have not decided to seek the help of a psychologist or you think that you do not feel bad enough to go to therapy, you can also benefit from some guidelines and strategies that usually help when it comes to stopping thinking about the ex-partner. You can see them explained below.

1. Assume that it is just a phase

The first thing of all is to psych yourself up with the idea that both the discomfort and the goal of stopping thinking about your ex-partner are part of a phase, It is not an experience that will define the rest of your life.. Remember that getting over the breakup correctly means being able to evoke memories of that relationship and think about your ex normally, without suffering great emotional pain.

Having this clear helps to de-dramatize the situation and allows us to start turning the page.

2. Do not try to block the thoughts and memories associated with your ex

It may seem contradictory to try to apply this idea as a measure to stop thinking about your ex; However, it is not. Not trying to block certain types of thoughts does not mean giving up stopping thinking about something; to practice, It is necessary to make it easier for our mind to focus on other things..

In fact, if you try to leave certain ideas or mental images out of your consciousness, you will actually be giving them more strength and power to return to you again and again, and you will obtain the opposite effect to the desired one. What you must do is accept that at first those memories and thoughts will be there, in the back room of your consciousness, generating in you a certain discomfort that you should not try to avoid at all costs. Simply let it dissolve and leave as it came, without focusing your attention on your fight against those emotionally painful mental contents.

3. Don’t dedicate your time to goals and projects that are based on assuming that you will return.

Another basic tip to stop thinking about your ex is not to adopt a lifestyle built about the idea that it burns or sooner that person will return to you (as a couple).

For example, there is no point in not thinking directly about someone for a while if you keep visiting certain places with the sole objective of exposing yourself more to them or their social environment, favoring a reunion. Or if you continue working in a company solely because that project allows you to continue earning money that you only need to carry out the family life plans that you had agreed upon.

4. Break with the dynamic of passivity

If you limit yourself to regretting and “trying to heal” the emotional wound caused by the end of that relationship, it will take you longer to overcome that crisis.. It is important that you get involved in aspects of your daily life that give you experiences unrelated to the breakup and how bad it makes you feel. If you do not expose yourself to interesting stimuli, it is easier for the only thing you can focus your attention on are those memories of the relationship that has already ended.

5. Maintain an active social life without obsessing about meeting potential partners

In line with the previous advice, it is important to maintain an active social life, so that you do not isolate yourself. Yes indeed, Don’t do it with the goal of finding another boyfriend or girlfriend. that helps you stop thinking about your ex; In addition to harming that person, you will achieve the opposite effect, because everything in that relationship will constantly remind you of his reason for existing.

• You may be interested: “Loneliness and mental health”

If the situation completely overwhelms you, go to therapy

Finally, it is worth remembering what was stated in previous paragraphs: if nothing seems to work, there is still the most effective measure of all: go to psychological therapy. With the help of the psychologist you will have guidelines to know what to do with your emotions and your memoriesand it will even be easier for you to know if, in the first place, in your case the most useful solution is to stop thinking about the ex.