Although we are used to receiving messages about how wonderful motherhood is, we must keep in mind that Not all maternities are experienced this way.. Each person lives their motherhood process in a very specific way and all of them are valid.
It is necessary that, at a social level, we become aware of the impact that motherhood can have on people’s lives. The expectations and idealized messages that society constantly sends us about motherhood can have a serious impact on the mental and physical health of both mothers and the people around them.
Hence the importance of realistically addressing the physical and emotional changes that can occur from the beginning of the process: the search for pregnancy. Of course, changes continue during pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting. In this article we will talk about the main keys to the gentlest possible adaptation to motherhood.
1. Understand what happens in us: puerperium
Postpartum is usually referred to as the first 40 days—also called quarantine—after childbirth. It is understood that these 6-8 weeks—they begin to be counted from the moment the birth ends—are what the women’s body needs to “recover” from pregnancy and childbirth and “return to normal.”
Although it is true that during those first weeks certain physical changes occur (such as the return of the uterus to its pre-pregnancy position, for example), we cannot consider that the puerperium has ended. It is important to understand that there are certain hormonal processes, physical and emotional changes that are maintained during the first two years.
It is increasingly common to use the term postpartum to refer to the most immediate events. (the first hours or weeks) and use the concept of the puerperium to refer to the entire process as a whole.
Therefore, it is crucial to keep in mind that the puerperium encompasses adaptation at all levels and that it can last, naturally, up to two years after giving birth. Although all these changes occur in women, they can have a considerable impact on other aspects (partner, friendship relationships, family, etc.).
2. Emotional preparation
A primary aspect for adapting to motherhood is respectful and compassionate support for ourselves in the emotional sphere. There are many and very intense changes that occur at the brain level during pregnancy and the postpartum period and it is important to understand them. Our body prepares for everything that the arrival of the baby implies..
In addition to the emotional changes that can be felt at an individual level, it is important to keep in mind that other aspects may appear, such as grief for all the changes that are to come or are already occurring. It’s normal and part of the process, but it can be painful or overwhelming.
In this sense, difficulties may appear related to the expectations that are generated around our environment, whether it be our partner, family or friends. It is important that, to the extent possible, We can talk about any of the things that are happening to us with relationships that feel safe or that we seek professional help.
In the same way that many changes happen on an emotional level, they happen on a physical level. It can be really complex to adapt to physical changes since there is a lot of social pressure regarding the issue and, furthermore, each woman has her own life story. If this is happening to you, don’t hesitate to ask for professional help.
A key factor in making the adaptation to motherhood as pleasant as possible is to maintain, within the possibilities, a healthy lifestyle. A balanced diet and physical exercise are crucial before, during and after pregnancy. You simply have to take into account the specific indications in each area.
Finally, it is important to keep in mind that sleep patterns may be altered and fatigue may occur during pregnancy. This can be maintained during the postpartum period. In addition, other pathologies or health conditions may appear (we must check and care for the pelvic floor!) and it is essential to consult the appropriate professionals in each case.
4. Redefinition of priorities
It is undeniable that with motherhood come a lot of changes. In addition to those already mentioned, we must take into account that routines are often altered (sleep patterns, eating, etc.) and that priorities also change.
There’s nothing wrong with this, although it can be overwhelming at first. It is a period that requires adaptation. It is important to ask for help from the environment as much as possible and establish spaces for self-care.
5. Support from the environment
Motherhood is a journey that, unfortunately, is increasingly experienced alone. However, the support of our environment is a fundamental aspect. In this sense, it is key that we can be accompanied by our partner—if we have one—in the process and that communication is as open, respectful and fluid as possible.
If it is difficult to have support from family or friends for whatever reasons—or if the support received in this way is not what is needed at the moment—there are other equally valid and interesting options. You can look for groups of fathers and/or mothers that are supportive and with which you can share experiences.
6. Self-care
As we have mentioned in other sections, self-care is basic. However, It is quite common for women to neglect their own care to dedicate all their attention and resources to caring for the baby..
Each woman experiences motherhood in a unique way. Therefore, it is essential that we observe ourselves and create spaces to ask ourselves what we need and how we can care for ourselves and/or take care of ourselves. Aspects such as time management are essential.
Emotions that are difficult to sustain and manage, such as guilt or other difficulties, may appear when managing and alternating the roles we play, hence the importance of self-observation, self-care and self-compassion.
Sometimes we need time to resume exercise routines, to enjoy leisure or resume any other pleasant activity. Sometimes, however, we need to explore new aspects. Whatever your case, remember that if the situation is feeling overwhelming, you can ask for help from mental health professionals specialized in perinatal care.
