Why Is It That The More I Try To Control My Anxiety, The Worse I Feel?
You’ve tried everything: meditating, playing sports, reading about the subject, trying to distract yourself. You’ve even talked to friends about how you feel. But for some reason, it seems that the harder you try to control your anxiety, the stronger it becomes. It’s frustrating, right? Why, despite looking for a thousand solutions, nothing seems to work?
What happens is that, Many times, the problem is not in what we do to try to calm anxiety, but in how we try to avoid feeling it.. And this is where that feeling arises that, no matter how hard you try, anxiety continues to win the game.
Why does controlling anxiety seem to make it worse?
It seems logical: If something causes us discomfort, our natural reaction is to try to control it or avoid it. But with anxiety, this strategy usually doesn’t work.. In fact, it may be that by trying to control every thought or sensation, you are feeding that cycle of discomfort.
Reflections to begin to understand anxiety
If you can relate to this constant struggle, it may be helpful to start asking yourself some different questions. Here are some reflections that can serve as an appetizer for what we explore in therapy:
These questions are the beginning of a process that has less to do with “controlling” anxiety, but rather learning to understand it and relate to it in a healthier way. This is precisely what we work on in therapy, because sometimes the key is not to fight, but to listen.
Why seeking professional help can make a difference?
You’ve probably already tried many methods to try to manage anxiety on your own. And while some things may have worked momentarily, if you feel stuck in this cycle, it may be a good time to consider taking the step toward therapy.
At SAFE Psychology, we focus on working with you from an integrative perspective. It is not about “prescribing” more control techniques, but about going to the bottom of what is happening in your life.. In this space, we explore what is fueling anxiety, what situations or emotions are taking a backseat, and how we can change the way you deal with those moments.
We use approaches such as EMDR therapy, which helps reprocess past events or emotional patterns that could be triggering your anxiety. Additionally, we work with emotional regulation and mindfulness tools so that you can feel more in control, but from a place of calm and acceptance, not constant struggle.
Reflect and take the first step towards change
If you’ve made it this far, you may have already realized that anxiety doesn’t go away just by trying to “control” it more. Therapy is an opportunity to start asking yourself the right questions, explore what is really going on in your life, and find new ways to manage discomfort without feeling like you are trapped in a constant battle.
I invite you to reflect: What would my life be like if, instead of fighting anxiety, I could learn to live with it without it controlling me? And if this idea resonates with you, perhaps it’s time to consider taking it a step further.
At SAFE Psychology, we are here to accompany you in that process. Schedule an informational call with us, and we will tell you how we can work together to understand and manage your anxiety in a healthier and more liberating way. Remember, it’s not about controlling, it’s about understanding.
