How To Overcome Pathological Grief

There are different types of pathological or complicated grief, these are classified into 4, which we will mention below:

• Chronic grief. A person is considered to be experiencing chronic grief when a year or more has passed and they feel that they have not made any progress in overcoming and/or assimilating the loss. He continues without accepting the pain and all those emotions that make him uncomfortable when remembering the loss.
• Delayed duel. This type of pathological grieving process appears when the person who has experienced the loss has not really experienced the sensations and emotions that he or she should have felt at the time or at least did not do so with their true intensity. After a while, faced with some unpleasant event (such as experiencing another loss, learning news related to the loss, etc.), the person experiences the symptoms of grief intensely and the wound that was not yet healed opens again.
• Exaggerated duel. The person who is experiencing this type of pathological grief feels completely overwhelmed by the pain that the loss has caused and what they do is try to avoid it as much as possible. Some avoidance behaviors that you can carry out are consuming alcohol or drugs excessively, working excessively, among others. All of this causes more and more pain and you can even develop other types of disorders, the most common being anxiety or depression.
• Masked duel. The person is not aware that the loss they experienced has not been overcome, so they begin to experience a series of physical symptoms or perform behaviors that cause difficulties and that they did not previously do. He may, for example, experience physical symptoms such as nervous tics, headaches and/or muscle aches, symptoms similar to those his loved one suffered before dying, etc. You may also begin to develop some disorders such as anxiety, depression, eating, among others.

To know if a person has gone from going through a normal grief to a pathological one, we can base it on the time they have been going through this process (although there is no exact scale that calculates how long the grief lasts), as well as on the symptoms it presents, taking into account that approximately one year is considered a normal time. Some of the most common symptoms of pathological grief are the following:

• Lack of acceptance of the situation.
• Feeling of emotional void since you feel that being without that person, life has no meaning
• Distrust of other people
• Intense feelings of anger and bitterness
• Thinking too much about the person who is gone, to the point of not being able to concentrate on all or almost all of your daily activities.
• Feeling out of place or alone despite being accompanied
• Wanting to avoid people or places that are related to the person who has left
• Feeling the need to touch, smell, see and/or hold things all the time of the loved one who has died or who is gone.
• It is impossible to talk about the loved one who has died since that causes the person a intense pain

When we have detected that our grieving process has become pathological or chronic and we do not know what we can do to improve this situation we are going through, it is necessary to know that, depending on the case and your individual situation, go to a professional It is the most recommended since it will be of great help to you. Above all, to prevent you from starting to develop other types of disorders such as depression or anxiety, among others. Here is a series of tips that will be of great help to you to get ahead in this situation.

1. Psychotherapy

It is essential that if you find yourself in a situation in which you feel that you cannot move forward on your own and you feel worse and worse or you would simply like to receive help from a professional, you go to a psychologist. The psychologist, through psychoeducation, will explain to you in detail what grief consists of, and will help you connect with those feelings and thoughts that cause you so much discomfort so that you can experience them and be aware of them. He will also help you accept death as part of life and not as a punishment or something extremely negative and that you can move forward despite it. So your perception about the loss will totally change and you will be able to experience it in a way that is less harmful to you.

2. Have a social support network

You need to have the support from people close to you like your family and friends. Do not isolate yourself since it is important to be by your side in good times but especially in your moments of sadness or when you need to be cared for and listened to.

3. Accept your feelings

Not all people experience the same feelings and emotions in situations. The worst thing we can do is judge ourselves and reject what we are feeling, don’t worry if what you feel is sadness, anger, anger, the important thing is that you accept what you are feeling and let it be.

4. Express your feelings

Do not repress what you feel, try to express it and not stay with it as it will be counterproductive for you to continue moving forward. It is recommended that if you feel like crying you do it, speak or express yourself however you feel best. If you have problems expressing your feelings, it is very useful to write a diary where you express your thoughts and emotions.

5. Take care of your health

Worry about yourself and your health. Don’t neglect yourself emotionally but not physically either and do things in your favor to stay healthy. For example, eating a proper diet, exercising, having medical check-ups, etc. This is important to take into account since the intense pain that loss causes us often makes us forget about aspects as important as these.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to overcome pathological grief we recommend that you enter our Cognitive Psychology category.