How To Help A Child Overcome Their Fears, In 5 Steps
Childhood is a potentially exciting stage, but it is also full of fears. At such a young age, children tend to adopt a type of reasoning called magical thinking, which makes them prone to inventing entities that are behind things that happen around them and that they do not fully understand. The uncertainty this produces can make them feel intimidated in certain types of normal day-to-day situations.
In this article we will see several tips about How to help children overcome their most irrational fears both in terms of the world around them and in terms of their perceptions of themselves, and what we can do as parents and educators to make them trust their abilities in a reasonable and realistic way.
The advice that you will find below must be adapted to the reality of each family and each child, given that its effectiveness always depends on the context in which one lives and the characteristics of each of the minors we are going to help. Both the material environment in which one has been growing, and the relational dynamics that have been consolidated between children and their family as well as the personality and self-concept (perception of oneself) of each infant, are very important elements to take into account.
That said, let’s look at the specific advice about what is recommended for children to overcome their fears.
1. Open a channel of honest communication with the minor
First of all, it is essential to create the conditions so that the boy or girl feels that they can express their fears freely and honestly, without feeling judged or contributing to us giving them a derogatory “label” In Western societies, fears are often seen as weaknesses, and therefore they tend to be hidden. But if we show interest in learning about them to help overcome them, things change.
So, the main thing is, first of all, to gain their trust and show good intentions from the beginning.
2. Ask directly for the root of the fear
It is necessary not to beat around the bush and know what the child’s perception is about what scares him or her. In this way we will know how to establish certain predictions about the type of situations in which this fear will be expressed, and on the other hand we will know whether it is based on imaginary entities or whether it has a minimally material basis Not daring to go to school because it is believed that a demon lives on the way there is not the same as being afraid of getting lost in dark places.
3. Don’t ridicule their fears
From the perspective of an adult, it is very easy to assume that a child’s irrational fears are nonsense, the result of a still developing mind. However, adopting that perspective is a serious mistake, since it will prevent us from connecting with the point of view of the person we want to help.
Therefore, when you ask for information about what is happening, act just as a person would do who does not focus on the logic or reasonableness of that fear, but on the importance that the emotional repercussions of that fear have for them. the small. The important thing is not to critically and rationally analyze the chain of thoughts that sustain the fear but how to get rid of that fear.
4. Be an example
This is a way to start breaking down fear. By demonstrating that it is possible to live peacefully by acting as if the source of that fear did not exist, we show that there is no reason to continue paying attention to that concern. To do this, perform acts that the boy or girl would not dare to do, in your company. However, It is preferable not to do it than to force the minor to be present because the fact of being forced to do so is in itself another source of stress.
5. Create easy situations in which to break through fear
Following a curve of ascending difficulty, create situations in which there is a hint of that fear that the child must overcome, and do your best to make him go through them without backing down to avoid that discomfort. Leaving his comfort zone in this way will be rewarding, because it will show him that his world of possible actions is broader than what that fear made him see at first. Little by little, challenge after challenge, it will be easier to continue progressing until the fear practically does not exist. However, she tries to always be close so that the situation does not get out of control.
