What Is The Cinderella Complex And Why Does It Affect Women?
More modern generations have stated that fairy tales and little princess stereotypes have seriously damaged the way women themselves see themselves (and their own misinterpreted love stories).
This social phenomenon based on traditional gender roles has given rise to what It is known as Cinderella complex
Simply defined, the Cinderella complex is a psychological phenomenon that predisposes women to value themselves and their lives depending on the proximity of a protective figure: their partner.
In this way, this psychological and social phenomenon favors the appearance of a self-image characterized by the expectation of the appearance of a couple who supposedly will give meaning to our lives and, in cases where there is already a partner, it fuels the creation of a relationship dynamic based on dependency.
The American writer Colette Dowling wrote a book in which she described how women with a Cinderella complex have a certain fear of independence and relate their happiness to their emotional status, giving rise to the insatiable and erroneous search for “Prince Charming” to achieve happiness. Absolut happiness.
Cinderella as a female model
The psychological pattern of women with Cinderella syndrome has three basic characteristics: an unconscious desire to be cared for, rescued and cared for constantly by other people, even outside the romantic partner.
This type of behavior can be explained by several factors. And according to Colette Dowling, its root lies in a combination of motivations: from the way in which women are educated to certain social rules that lead women to feel this way, which makes a simple explanation difficult. problem.
In some way, the cultural foundation based on machismo continues to feed this type of attitudes and philosophies of life that mark strong distinctions between what is feminine and what corresponds to what is masculine. The first is fragile and must be cared for from the outside, and the second is strong, firm and self-sufficient. The combination of gender roles that derive from this polarized perception of men and women creates, among other things, the Cinderella complex.
Her CARACTERISTICS
Some of the characteristics of the Cinderella complex are the following:
If you identify with any of these symptoms, the best method to combat them or transform this behavior is by seeking happiness without a partner and with the virtues that you have for yourself, without having to wait for anyone to come and change your reality.
If you cannot overcome these fears and attitudes, the ideal is to ask a specialist for help to help you modify your beliefs and habits.
Is it a mental disorder?
Cinderella’s complex It is not a concept used in clinical psychology or psychiatry To call a mental disorder, it simply describes a certain pattern of behavior fueled by customs, stereotypes about the differences between men and women.
However, if the behavioral patterns it describes are very pronounced and interfere with the quality of life of the person or their environment, it may indicate the presence of characteristic symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder or Dependent Personality Disorder.
It is very common to hear talk today about the need to vindicate independent and self-sufficient women. However, being clear about how to adopt an attitude more based on self-confidence is complicated. For this reason, we will work on these keys to develop female independence, always respecting that of others.
Basically, we find two types of independence: emotional and economic In part, one depends on the other to be able to consolidate a good level of independence.
Here are five tips to overcome the problem:
1. Take care of your emotions
Definitely the most difficult step and the first to face, since it is the basis of everything. Emotional independence is achieved by clearly defining what you want, what you like and what you don’t. Regarding your personal relationships Whether with friends, co-workers, family or your romantic partner, efforts must be made to analyze where one’s real capabilities end and where the collaboration of others is truly necessary.
2. Responsibility with money
The idea that what is normal and desirable depends economically on the couple greatly restricts one’s freedom. Learn to depend on yourself and not ask anyone for money.
3. Enjoy solitude
There is no need to panic when you are alone. Value your moments of solitude eat something with positive aspects and encounter your own thoughts, feelings and fears.
4. Cultivate yourself
Enjoying a higher level of skills and knowledge empowers us and makes us more free and autonomous, regardless of our gender.
5. Work on self-esteem
This point is as essential as the first. love yourself It will help you show yourself as an empowered woman and safe. Loving yourself, without falling into arrogance, makes you respect yourself, take care of yourself, cultivate yourself, etc. You should expect the same from the people around you.
