When it comes to relationships, men have always had the most competitive role: that of finding a partner that adapts to your particularities. Women, on the other hand, have traditionally adopted a much more passive role, limiting themselves to accepting or not accepting their suitors.
In other words, the man had to make the woman experience euphoria by feeling desired, and the opposite was very unusual.
However, in recent times gender roles have changed and their differences have become much blurred. Will this change also affect the way men experience sexual and love lives? Do they need to feel desired just like women, or is there something in the male mind that remains unchanged regardless of how times evolve?
Any representation of the conqueror and the male “heartthrob” presents the same stereotypical characteristics: a person who, when dealing with women, only uses his ingenuity and his ability to improvise to find new ways to make her feel important and desired. From offering help to perform the simplest actions (sitting down, climbing stairs) to offering constant compliments.
The idea is, although it sounds simple (because it really is), add to your own attractiveness the pleasant experience of feeling seductive in the company of that man in question This means that the idea of feeling desired is seen as an “extra”, something that is received from outside and that makes the predisposition to have a relationship with someone grow. But…could it be that that same feeling was a need of man, something that he normally does not receive?
This is, at least, what some research suggests; Men also highly value feeling desired as part of the romantic or sexual experience.
Who takes the initiative, men or women?
In a qualitative investigation conducted with the help of 26 young men who volunteered, the results showed that approximately 40% of them not only did not value positively the idea of having sexual relations without feeling desired, but they also resisted assuming the responsibility. idea that they always had to be the ones who unilaterally showed interest in the other person.
That is to say, although traditional roles still have influence, they could be masking a significant number of men who question the idea that it is women who should “let themselves be seduced.”
In another study with similar characteristics, the number of men who showed preferences for equal treatment in “making contact” with an unknown or relatively unknown person was 72%. That is to say, in this case the majority of participants expected a more active attitude from the woman that would make them feel desired, instead of simply being the ones who open the conversation and take the reins of the dialogue and the approach.
Furthermore, the number of men who stated that the traditional role of “heartthrob” demanded too much of them and was unsatisfactory was the majority among that percentage of the participants; simply, They believed that there is no valid reason why women should remain in a passive position without showing signs that he is attracted to the person in front of him.
Complimenting the positive qualities of men is not usually a characteristic seduction strategy for women, compared to what the opposite sex does. However, changes in gender roles seem to be weakening those behavioral differences that underpinned the custom of meeting potential romantic or sexual partners, so this seems to be changing.
And how does this evolution occur? For now, in the minds of men, and possibly soon in the way in which women approach the search for sporadic or stable partners.
For example, they can initiate approaches towards strangers, express what they like about the other person (whether physical or psychological), not show taboos about sex and take the initiative in making decisions about plans that can be made on a date
The stigmatization of the woman he conquers
However, for this change to occur, it is important that the stigma of women who behave in a masculine manner disappear and which, in the area of emotional and sexual relationships, has to do with the bad image of female promiscuity.
The machismo that remains in the culture, even in Western countries or with great Western influences, causes women who express attraction and interest in men to face a significant stigma that has serious repercussions on how their social circles treat them. This stigma acts as an anchor that prevents not only men from having the responsibility to always take the initiative but, more importantly, women from feeling comfortable expressing their sexuality.
