The 8 Types Of Family Conflicts And How To Manage Them
When we think about the concept of family, we usually think of a group of people who support each other and adopt a series of rules to make coexistence possible. Now, precisely because the treatment between these people is very common and involves several of the most intimate and personal aspects of each one, it is relatively common for disagreements and discussions to arise.
There are different types of family conflict, according to the type of link between people or according to the cause that originates it. Here you will find a summary of these variants of conflicts that can occur within families, and their characteristics.
The term family includes a group of people made up of people united by filial relationships, that is, parents, children and siblings or by couple ties This system is understood as an open whole, in which all components are closely related.
Due to this close and intimate relationship, the behavior of any of them can affect the dynamics of the family. Naturally, family disputes and conflicts are part of these dynamics
Conflicts or disputes constitute an inseparable element of living in society, given that it is made up of many different individuals with diverse opinions and ways of thinking. Furthermore, a well-managed conflict is established as a means for development and progress, so it is necessary to face it in order to learn from it.
Obviously, family conflict is something natural, since in the coexistence of members of a family unit, with different ages, thoughts and ways of seeing life, conflict is inevitable. However, the fundamental thing is not to avoid conflict at all costs, since that is impossible, but to avoid escalation of aggressiveness and manage it intelligently and assertively.
At the moment in which a conflict appears in a family or family unit, An instability also appears that can lead to frustrations and worries disproportionate in some members. In addition, old problems that were not resolved may begin to resurface and that only contribute to making the conflict bigger.
Any kind of family crisis requires the cooperation of all members, as well as a transformation and adaptation to a new situation; since during a family dispute the rules imposed in the family context become uncertain and it is necessary to work on them again.
Types of family conflicts
There are several ways to categorize different types of family conflicts. This categorization can be based on the type of relationship that exists between the agents involved in the dispute or based on the focus or cause of the conflict.
1. Types of family conflicts depending on the type of relationship
Depending on the type of relationship or kinship that exists between family members, four types of family conflicts can be differentiated.
1.1. Couple conflicts
It is inevitable that disputes or crises arise in the context of a couple; However, if people are able to adequately manage these conflicts can serve to strengthen the bond between couples
Usually these difficulties arise naturally as a result of communication problems or misunderstandings. The most common causes of daily conflicts in couples are:
1.2. Conflicts between parents and children
Depending on the stage of development in which each of the parties involved in the conflict are, they can be subdivided into three categories:
1.3. Conflicts between siblings
These types of conflicts are the most common and the ones that last the longest regardless of the life stage in which each one of them finds themselves. These altercations usually last for a very short time and most of the time parental interference is not mandatory.
The positive side of this type of conflict is that they constitute a prelude to the conflicts that can appear in adulthood, and therefore serve as initiation and learning for adult life
When an adult enters the stage of old age, the changes they experience are extremely transcendental. Both on a biological level, when the person notices their own bodily deterioration; as at a social level, in which they appear events such as retirement, loss of friends or loved ones etc.
This set of changes can be experienced in a very dramatic way by the person, giving rise to conflicts with the rest of the components of the family unit.
2. According to the focus of the problem
These conflicts are categorized according to the source or focus of the problem, and although they are described separately, more than one type can occur at the same time.
2.1. Crises typical of the life cycle
Each change or jump from one stage of the life cycle to another is usually accompanied by some conflict, this is due to a series of factors such as new responsibilities assimilation of new roles or events such as marriages, retirements or deaths.
If these conflicts try to be neutralizing or are managed in a poor way, they can become real family crises.
2.2. External crises
The origin of these crises is found in** the sudden appearance of an unexpected event**. These events range from the loss of a job, some kind of accident, the death of a loved one, etc.
What usually characterizes these crises is the search for culprits by the person most affected instead of trying to get used to the new circumstances.
23. Structural crises
In this type of difficulties, old crises or events are repeated and renewed, causing conflicts to reappear between family members.
2.4. Attention crisis
These crises are typical of family units in which dependent or helpless people reside. In these cases, conflicts appear when the people in charge of their care see their usual activities or freedoms limited or restricted
It is necessary to understand that in a family conflict situation not everything is negative. A conflict can be a perfect opportunity to learn new ways to solve problems. First of all, you have to identify the specific causes of the conflict in order to work on possible changes on them.
Some tactics or strategies to handle disputes effectively are:
1. Practice active listening
Pay full attention to what the other person is trying to convey, as well as make sure that you have understood their demands and that the other person is aware that they have been understood.
Related article: “Active listening: the key to communicating with others”
2. Watch the way you speak
Using careful language and correct expressions are essential to maintain good communication
A good way to express feelings in an appropriate way is by replacing reproaches with expressions of what one is feeling or what the person feels hurt or hurt about. Likewise, it is necessary to raise or suggest alternative solutions to the problems that have caused the crisis
3. Allow the intervention of all those involved
It is very common that in any type of dispute the people involved keep each other from speaking, or that they do not want some of the other parties involved to intervene in solving the problem.
However, this is a serious mistake. Since none of the parties involved should be prioritized and all of them have the right and obligation to intervene at the same level.
4. Show affection
Despite experiencing a conflict situation that can be stressful, It is important to continue expressing signs of affection and affection; since these reduce the levels of tension in relationships.
5. Find the right place and time
Due to the emotional component of family conflicts, people often tend to argue at any time and place. However, it is better to postpone the discussion for when tempers are calmer and the context accompanies and facilitates the dialogue.
